Hey, you. You want to be smart, don't you?
You don't wanna, you don't wanna be like an idiot, do you?
People often comment down below on how smart I look.
How smart I LOOK.
Not how smart I actually am,
if I am at all,
I don't know, you decide.
Actually, you can't decide that, I can.
If it's even actually possible to make yourself smarter.
I don't know, can we?
We should ask someone smart.
But you know what's easier than being smart?
Looking it.
So here are ten ways to appear smarter!
Number one:
smile all the time.
Smiling often has proven to making people appear smarter.
Intelligence and confidence are often linked.
The more intelligent you are means the more you know,
and the more you know means the more confident you are,
which makes you smile more!
Well, that's great and all if you're an attractive person,
but what about people like me,
the people that have creeper smiles?
Like this video if you think you have a creepy smile, too.
It's okay if you do,
'Cause this works for creepy smilers, too.
Because your smile makes people think
you know something that they don't.
-What do you know that I don't know?
and when you inevitably answer
-Nooothing.
they have no idea you're actually telling the truth.
Number two:
read.
Sure, reading actually makes you smarter,
but I said what do you want to do if you want to APPEAR smarter.
So, all you have to really do is appear to be
reading a book.
This technique works even if you don't know how to read.
...most of the time.
In fact, if you have a somewhat large book,
just carry it around with you,
you don't even have to pretend to read it!
Number 3:
wear glasses.
I mean, I only wear glasses to appear smarter.
it's true, I mean I don't really need them, it's just that
when I take them off everything is slightly out of focus.
but whatever, right?
Wearing glasses gives you a sense of credibility
that you otherwise wouldn't have.
-Did you know that fairies are real?
-Oh come on, that's not true.
-Alright, well let me check my facts here.
-You know, actually, it seems legit.
Be careful with that one, though
because if you don't need glasses and you start wearing them
you might mess up your eyes to the point where
you actually need glasses.
And that's not fun.
Number four:
listen to music.
Not just any type of music, okay?
Mozart, specifically.
Know the name of a couple pieces
just to throw in to casual conversation and you're set!
("Eine kleine Nachtmusik" plays)
-What'cha listening to?
-Mozart.
-Would you rather listen to "Piano Concerto no. 20"?
-Nahhh...
-It's in D minor!
Number five:
Don't open your mouth unless you know what you're talking about.
This one's really simple and it really doesn't need much more explaining,
but if you don't know what you're talking about, just don't talk.
Sometimes well placed silence is
...smarter.
Number six:
ask questions.
Again, sounds like work,
it sounds a little bit like learning,
I mean, asking questions helps expand your mind,
blah blah bladdie bladdie
BLEH
But really, asking questions is a great way to
redirect attention off of yourself if you don't know the answer.
-Quick, what's four times eight?
-What do you think it is?
- I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!
-Why would you think that I would know it?
-Um... because you're better at math than I am?
-Don't you think you would have a deeper sense of self pride if you worked it out yourself?
-No!
Number seven:
wear clothes that fit.
This goes back to confidence.
When you wear clothes that fit you you appear more confident,
and thus, more intelligent.
-Well?
-You look like a doofus.
-Well?
-Now you look like a dweeb.
-Well??
-Aahh...
(Annoyed sigh)
-THERE you go!
Number eight:
(REALLY FRIGGIN LOUD SNEEZE OH MY GOSH)
Number eight:
don't brag.
About anything.
People think you're desperate for attention.
Let them stumble upon your accomplishments
while you manipulate the conversation.
People won't believe what you tell them
if you're so eager to give them the information.
So don't tell people you're smart,
because they're not buying it.
Even if you ARE smart, don't brag about it.
It's like explaining a joke,
if you have to explain it, it's probably bad.
You know what I'm saying?
Am I right?
I mean, do you
Did you ge-
Number nine:
roll your eyes.
Whenever anyone tells you something just roll your eyes
and be sarcastic with them.
Say things like:
-Riiight.
-You think so?
-Okay
-It is now?
'Cause if they turn out to be wrong, then they're going to be impressed
that you knew it all along.
And if they turn out to be right,
well, you were agreeing with them, anyways!
...Just in a sarcastic way...
Number ten:
use big words.
This is the most dangerous and most effective
way to appear smart to others.
There's a lot of room for error if you don't know how to
properly use the word that you're trying to use.
So I'm gonna give you a little tip here,
and one that my grandmother gave me,
a phrase that will knock the socks off of
any adversary in any hostile situation,
leaving them stunned and not even able to find their own words.
...Basically when someone's picking on you.
The perfect comeback,
so listen carefully.
-You need a haircut.
(Scoff)
-If you insinuate that I should tolerate such
insubordination from a microscopic individual such as yourself,
you are laboring under an erroneous delusion
whose basis is too obnoxious to be observed.
-Your fly's open.
-Do you mean "zip fastener"?
(CC by AwesomesauceLion)
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I think Amanda's exact words were
"Oh my gosh, it's so cute, OH MY GOD!"
...and then everything else was too high pitched from there on out.
and I've got a question for you guys;
what do you think makes a person appear smarter?
'Cause I want some tips.
...for a friend.
Put your comments down below,
and thank you very much for watching, I will see you next time.
HIGH FIVE!