negotiating and dealing with conflict can be incredibly difficult especially
if you're not talking in your native language so today's lesson is focused on
giving you some of the key phrases and vocabulary that you'll need in these
circumstances I want to say a huge thank you to the providers of today's lesson
lingoda - so this lesson is the lesson you would normally encounter on Lingoda's
site now we're not going to work through the whole lesson because lingoda
does lessons last for an hour and we don't have that much time
plus Lingoda's lessons involve interaction between the students and the
teacher and we can't really do that on this video. Firstly I need to make good
on a promise, you remember the promise I made to all of you a few months ago when
they announced the lingoda language marathon you remember the language
marathon right you take a class every day for three months between January and
March and if you attend every single class for those three months and raise
your language level then you get all your money back do you remember that one
and the whole point was to try to get you into the habit of learning and to
help you to achieve your personal goals like your New Year's resolutions to
become much better in English and my promise was that anyone entering the
marathon would then have a chance to be featured on this channel with me and
lots of you who entered the marathon did get in touch with me and say you would
like to be featured and it turns out that quite a lot of you live here in the
UK and in fact a cup of you actually live in the same city as me so I invited
one very lucky winner over for a cup of tea this is Stephanie hi Stephanie hi
thank you so much for being here Stephanie how long have you been
watching English like a native mmm about six months six months fantastic and
luckily you're living here in London and so what is it that brought you
to London and I moved here because I got a new job in marketing company why then
if you're in England and you're practicing English why do you need to do
something like the lingoda marathon? I learned English in school for nine years
and I think my English is okay it's very good thank you but in in
business meetings I felt not so confident so you want to improve your
business English to take your career forward now you're living in London
there's lots of courses you can do in central London lots of schools available
did you consider any of those and it's it's really hard because in a marketing
company this it's a very busy schedule yes and I didn't I wasn't able to commit
to a certain time every week i choosing to do a normal course in school so you
need something flexible yes lingoda
but if you're really really busy and did you not find that perhaps the marathon
might be a bit much you know it's a class every day yes it is it is a lot of
work but it's it's great because with the marathon and you I have to do it
every day so it really it motivates you to really do it every day yes really go
for it yeah okay great so so far you've already done a month and may I ask how
you feel you're progressing yes it's it's going great and I feel like I've
really improved my vocabulary and I feel more confident already I've I've had a
meeting last week which was a difficult meeting I had a difficult client but
I felt much stronger with my expressing my
my thoughts yeah fantastic so just for those viewers at home if you can tell us
what you believe are the benefits of being part of the lingoda language
marathon the flexibility of the lingoda language marathon is great as I
mentioned before then also the native teachers it's great if you always say
it's easier to learn with a native teacher and it's the the lessons are
really structured which is super helpful and which I think has has helped me
improve a lot and yes because it really keeps the motivation going because you
have to do it every day and you set your goal and then you hopefully level up at
the end so it's great to keep the motivation going thank you so much
Stephanie it's actually the first time in all the time I've been running this
channel but I've actually got to meet one of my viewers face to face and that
was really exciting for me and it was great to hear your story good luck for
the next two months and if hearing Stephanie's story has
inspired you then just click on the link down below to check out lingoda for
yourself and if you decide to take lessons then be sure to use this code
this will get you a very special discount
okay it's time to start negotiating and dealing with conflict are any of these
phrases familiar I'm very sorry that you're put out but I'm sure we can come
to an arrangement when I put myself in your shoes I can see you have every
right to be angry let's try to figure this out let's just go through a few
parts of that paragraph it's the first thing I said was I'm very sorry that
you're put out put out is a phrasal verb to be put out is to be disappointed or
upset I always imagine it's like being a candle and you're flickering and bright
and happy and energetic and then someone puts you out and suddenly you lose your
shine you lose your happiness you feel deflated and dark and miserable you're
put out so I'm very sorry that you're put out but I'm sure we can come to an
arrangement to come to an arrangement is to have an agreement some sort of plan
that you are both happy with when I put myself in your shoes I can see you have
every right to be angry the phrase to put myself in your shoes means I'm
seeing it from your point of view I can understand why you feel that way when I
put myself in your shoes I can see you have every right to be angry let's try
to figure this out similar to let's come to an arrangement
figuring something out in this context means that you're going to work out a
way that you can cooperate for a mutually beneficial outcome so that
you're both happy in what scenarios would we use these types of phrases well
in pretty much any scenario where you're having a disagreement with someone for
example at home you might have a disagreement with your teenaged
daughter because she comes in she makes a terrible mess everywhere she goes and
she doesn't clean up after herself perhaps your husband has promised that
he would do the washing up if you do all the cooking and you do all the cooking
but he doesn't do the washing up but it's not just in the home conflict can
also arise at work perhaps you feel you deserve a pay rise and everyone else has
a pay rise but you didn't get one why or perhaps you work in the customer service
department and you constantly have to deal with
angry customers then again maybe you're going on holiday and you're
having a disagreement with someone at the airport because you've just arrived
on the holiday of a lifetime but the airliner has lost your luggage and on
the way home your flight is delayed by 19 hours and of course conflict can
arise in a store or with a service provider if you buy something and it's
not what you expected or it's not what they promised so in
dealing with conflicts of any kind the most effective thing to do is to
negotiate to have a negotiation negotiation is when people or groups of
people discuss something the aim of the discussion is to come to an agreement
even if the involved parties have opposing views for example the
negotiation took several days but now both workers and their employers are
happy with the new pay rate now if this word or any of the words we're about to
cover are new for you then do try to practice them this will help to put it
into your long-term memory by writing a sentence including that word down in the
comments box below and when I get a chance I'll have a read and if it needs
correcting I'll do that for you and if it's just fabulous then I will give you
so love negotiations often involve compromise compromise is when one or
both parties involved in a negotiation agree to change their minds somewhat or
alter their terms in order to find a resolution to a conflict for example I'm
willing to compromise and work overtime this month since I understand that it's
an exceptionally busy period for the company Dan and Sue have come to a
compromise they won't buy a house in the heart of the city or in the countryside
but instead they're looking for somewhere in the suburbs so Dan wants to
live in the city Sue wants to live in the country and that is a conflict and
in order to make both parties relatively happy they decide to move somewhere in
the middle in the suburbs it helps when you're negotiating to see things from
another person's perspective perspective your perspective is how you see things
your point of view here's an example sentence it would help if you could see
things from her perspective see things from another person's perspective might
help when you're trying to convince them of something to convince to convince
someone is to make someone believe that what you're saying is right or true
here's the example sentence they are trying hard to convince him but he's
still not keen on the idea so if he's not convinced then what they will have
to do is to persuade him to persuade someone means to get someone to agree to
do something by giving them lots of reasons why they should by arguing your
case they might not be completely convinced but you have persuaded them to
give it a go here's an example sentence don't let them persuade you to work on
Saturday you're not obliged to if you can't persuade or convince someone to
see things from your perspective then you might not be able to resolve the
situation resolve to resolve something is to fix
it to come to an understanding an agreement here's an example sentence if
Mary and Sam can't resolve their differences it might be the end of their
relationship so Mary and Sam are going to have to cooperate in order to resolve
their differences they have to cooperate to cooperate means to work together
here's an example you both play an essential role in the project so you
need to find a way to cooperate and if you're trying to cooperate then you may
need to come up with alternative solutions to the problem alternative an
alternative is basically something similar but different
for example I promised you a piece of fruit but you don't like bananas so as
an alternative I'm offering you a tangerine this is still a piece of fruit
but it's different to a banana it's an alternative so there we have negotiation
compromise perspective convince persuade resolve cooperate and alternative
alright great vocabulary thank you lingo de let's have a look now at some useful
phrases if the person you're talking to is pretty angry then the first thing to
do is to let them know that you understand why they're angry you get it
you understand it you could use these phrases I understand your point of view
I can see where you're coming from I'd like to clear up any confusion I
appreciate your honesty you've got a right to be angry I understand what
you're saying but try to put yourself in her shoes
and those phrases are a great way to try and calm the situation initially however
they don't always help you to progress the negotiations for you to put your
point across so let's pick a mix some phrases that will help to show you
understand how they're feeling but then to progress with the negotiation so you
could start with any of the phrases from this column I hear what you're saying
it's unfortunate things have gotten so heated ah if things are heated it means
that they are emotional someone's become angry perhaps they're shouting or crying
or just really angry maybe steam is coming out of their ears I understand
your point of view and I respect it I recognise I was at fault and I apologise
I appreciate your apology but and then choose a phrase from the second column
but I'd like you to try to understand it from my point of view I think it would
be best if we could try to resolve our differences but I think both sides need
to compromise to reach an agreement I would like to try to work together to
find a solution it's not enough we still have to find a way to resolve the
situation now let's look at an argument thirst isn't successful they don't use
any of the words or phrases that we've discussed and it all goes downhill
pretty quickly ah good morning mr. Hughes is that the best you can manage
I expect an apology you were supposed to be here at 10:00 a.m. it's already half
past 11:00 Mr. Hughes I'm very sorry but apologising isn't good enough I don't
care what your Excuse is I'm fed up listening to excuses from people who
cannot stick to their promises Mr. Hughes can you please listen to.... you want
me to listen to you the cheek of it the nerve
and I'm the one who's been waiting here all this time Mr. Hughes
I have the email that you wrote here look it was you who asked me to come at
11:30 a.m. and now you're standing there shouting abuse at me well I've had
enough find someone else to fit your kitchen
I don't need your business Oh dear, that didn't go very well did it? and that's
because they didn't follow the key rules to conflict management and negotiation
what are those key rules I hear you ask well they are stay calm at all times
getting heated emotional upset and shouting just doesn't help anyone so try
to remain calm listen to the other person in the example that you just saw
mr. Hughes did not listen if he hadn't listened then he wouldn't have
embarrassed himself and lost one of his workers so always give the other person
a chance listen to their grievances and then you might be able to come to some
sort of arrangement acknowledge their point of view we all feel better when
people understand us so let the other people know that you've listened and
that you understand why they feel that way and where they're coming from
explain your demands clearly give reasons why they are justified let the
other person know exactly what you want and why you want it why it's necessary
once they understand that properly then it might make things a little bit easier
so now you have some vocabulary phrases and the key rules to conflict management
and negotiation as I said earlier I've only taken a snippet from the lingoda
lesson notes but thank you lingoda for sharing those with us and if you are
interested in checking out more of what lingoda has to offer then don't forget
to use the link below the code to get that a very special
discount thanks once again to the marathon runner Stephanie it was
fantastic to meet you and all that's left to say is take care try not to get
into too many conflicts and goodbyes