VOICE The following is rated "S" for
spoilers.
VOICE (CONT'D) In a world where movies have been
replaced by TV as the medium for grown ups...
VOICE (CONT'D) Comes the best HBO-style drama that
can't use the F-word or show any bewbs...
VOICE (CONT'D) ...yet is so good, it got TV snobs
to finally shut up about The Wire.
VOICE (CONT'D) Breaking Bad.
VOICE (CONT'D) The show so powerful you binge
watch it on Netflix... So all- consuming you push it on your
friends even if they don't watch TV... and so addicting you can't
shut up about it.
VOICE (CONT'D) It's basically like drugs.
VOICE (CONT'D) Journey to scenic New Mexico, because
state tax laws made it much cheaper to film in than Los Angeles.
VOICE (CONT'D) And meet chemistry teacher Walter
White. He's got the kind of cancer that makes you cough. A lot.
VOICE (CONT'D) He'll cook crystal meth to pay for
his expensive cancer treatment... then to save money for his
family... and then just because.
VOICE (CONT'D) So awesome!
VOICE (CONT'D) Meet his partner Jesse Pinkman, a
Juggalo without the makeup who prefers the formal term for female dog.
VOICE (CONT'D) Together, they'll battle some of
television's greatest villains:
VOICE (CONT'D) All of which happen to be angry
latino men.
VOICE (CONT'D) Ay yi yi!
VOICE (CONT'D) But that's not all, Walt's also got
drama at home.
VOICE (CONT'D) There's his annoying wife Skyler...
who at first you wish would just go away.
VOICE (CONT'D) Then later will wish she could just
get away, since she's married to a complete sociopath
VOICE (CONT'D) There's also a baby who shows up
when its convenient.
VOICE (CONT'D) A son who...we're not sure if we're allowed
to make fun of...
VOICE (CONT'D) And a brother-in-law cop who's
terrible at telling jokes...and even worse at recognizing that his
own family is running a crystal meth empire.
VOICE (CONT'D) Prepare for five epic seasons
packed with awesome unforgettable moments...
VOICE (CONT'D) Aw man that was awesome right
there.
VOICE (CONT'D) That was freakin cool
VOICE (CONT'D) Oh man that was so good!
VOICE (CONT'D) But you'll also have to sit through
a lot of this...
VOICE (CONT'D) Yeah I guess that did take a long time to pay off
VOICE (CONT'D) But that made it totally worth it!
VOICE (CONT'D) Get ready for a show where anyone
can be killed at any time, and in any way...
VOICE From box cutter...
VOICE To bike lock...
VOICE (CONT'D) To ATM machine...
VOICE (CONT'D) To decapitated-head turtle-bomb....
VOICE (CONT'D) To exploding grandpa.
VOICE (CONT'D) To Jimi Hendrixing.
VOICE (CONT'D) To Pontiac Aztec.
VOICE (CONT'D) Now that's product placement.
VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...
VOICE (CONT'D) Breakfast
VOICE (CONT'D) P.O.V. Shots!
VOICE (CONT'D) The Color Purple
VOICE (CONT'D) Corpse barrels
VOICE (CONT'D) Bald Guys.
VOICE (CONT'D) Foreshadowing
VOICE (CONT'D) Magnets
VOICE (CONT'D) Rocks
VOICE (CONT'D) Er... Minerals.
VOICE (CONT'D) Roof Pizza
VOICE (CONT'D) Half of Mr. Show
VOICE (CONT'D) Malcom's Dad
VOICE (CONT'D) and the world's greatest Price is
Right contestant
VOICE (CONT'D) Breaking Bad
.
VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously, you better tune in fast
or be ostracized by white
people...it's pretty much all they
ever talk about.