Hello, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours and today, we are discussing
a male dating type that you do not want to find yourself ending up with.
It's the Emotionally Unavailable partner. Now, a few days ago we talked about
the Emotionally Unavailable guy so yo can check that video out.
But today, we are discussing the partner. What happens when you're actually
with one? It is one of the most dissatisfying and hurtful relationships
you can possibly end up in.
Make sure you stay tuned and don't forget to download the 10 Male
Dating Personalities That Lead To Heartbreak from the link here in
the description below. See you in just a second.
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Welcome to the video! And today, we are discussing the Emotionally
Unavailable partner. Now, this guy is one of the most toxic male dating
personalities that you can possibly find yourself ending up with and
a lot of women underestimate in fact, just how much on happiness this guy
can lead to. You know, women say to me, "Well Mark, at least he's not a
controlling guy, right? At least he's not an addict. At least he's not a player."
This is like you saying to me,
"Hey, Mark your cat bit you in the face, but at least your cat isn't a tiger."
In all seriousness, the Emotionally Unavailable partner can lead you to
a life of emptiness and unhappiness in your relationships.
Relationships literally mean to relate. It's about forming connection.
It's about sharing emotional experiences with someone else. It's having that
person there to emote with and connect with, and a relationship
with an Emotionally Unavailable partner is one that's void of connection.
Essentially, you end up with a roommate that you have sex with for 40 years,
and it is one of the most dissatisfying and hurtful relationships you can
possibly end up in.
So today, I'm going to give you five signs to know that you're with this type of guy.
But first, I want to talk a little bit about where emotional unavailability comes from.
Why do men struggle to be emotionally available? Well, there's a few factors
playing a part that challenged men when it comes to sharing their
emotions. Firstly, there's the evolutionary brain. Now, men in tribes were taught
not to show emotions, especially negative or weak emotions because the tribe
would lose faith in them if they did. Men learned that if they were worried or
anxious that they processed those emotions internally and then come back
to the tribe with a confident answer. You see, if a man's tribe lost faith in him,
then he wouldn't have much of a tribe.
Whereas this wasn't such an issue for evolutionary women.
Now, as it is even with that, men also grow up being told by fathers often
not to show emotions or that it's not mainly to show emotions and not only
that, they get a lot less practice. As a woman, you tend to talk to your
girlfriends about how you feel and you get good at communicating how you feel
and recognizing how you feel. Whereas a lot of men don't do that at all,
so not only do they have brains that aren't as wired to doing that,
but they don't get a lot of practice with their buddies and as if all
those factors weren't enough. If the guy has had some sort of trauma
on top of that, say, he lost someone who was very close to him and that
emotionally scarred him, or if he's had a very bad breakup or previous
experience in past relationship or relationships, that's going to make
the guy even less wanting to open up about emotions.
Now, all these are reasons, but they're not excuses, and that's important to
understand.
In next week's video, I'm going to show you how to help him share his feelings,
to help a man overcome these factors.
But what are the signs that your partner is Emotionally Unavailable?
Well, number one, he struggles to show emotions. You find yourself saying
things like, "I know he loves me. He just struggles to show it."
You can't imagine him going through much of a range of emotions.
You find it hard to imagine him happy, him elated, him sad,
showing vulnerability. You find it hard to imagine him showing really much
of anything except being stoic.
Number two, he struggles to communicate his feelings, so he really
struggles to vocalize any sorts of feelings, and you find yourself saying
things like, "I know he cares. He just doesn't know how to say it."
Number three, he denies having any issue at all. So he says things like,
"There's nothing wrong. I'm fine" when you know something is wrong,
you can see there are emotions happening, and he keeps denying
that there's anything going on underneath.
Number four, he dismisses your feelings. So he says things like,
"No, you're just way too emotional. You know you're being crazy."
This is too extreme and you feel your feelings are being dismissed,
so that he can avoid his.
Number five, he gets defensive and you even find him gaslighting.
So making the problem about you.
He says, "Honey, you're making mountains out of molehills.
There's nothing wrong here. This is all in your head."
Emotionally Unavailable partners don't want to feel like it's their fault.
And this is true of a lot of men is they don't want to feel like their incompetency
is causing problems, so they make the problem about you.
So those are the signs to spot an Emotionally Unavailable partner.
And what do you do if you've actually found yourself with one already?
Well, the first thing is you want to be sure that you are emotionally available to him.
Sometimes, a man's emotional unavailability will be a reflection
of yours, so could it be that you don't want to be vulnerable and express
your emotions? Could it be that you want to stay in control? We're often
emotionally unavailable when we want to keep control because we don't want
to let someone in. Could it be that a parent was emotionally unavailable
with you, so you replay that dynamic to the next person that comes along,
i.e your partner?
You've got to make sure you're emotionally available in the first
place for your partner to reciprocate that back.
Number two is don't make excuses for him.
Men do have the ability to be emotionally available.
They just have to want to cultivate it.
Number three is don't try to change him.
Make sure that you support him, but change has to be on him.
For a thing you can do is to find some couples stuff that you can do together.
So maybe it's seminars or psychology,
maybe it's counseling, whatever it is, something that you can do to help him
work through it and support him with it. If he's willing to do that with you as a
partner, then it's a strong chance and a good indicator that with time, action,
and focus, he could come good.
And finally, number five is don't forget to watch the next video on this channel.
I'm going to talk about how to help a man share his feelings. I'm going to
talk about strategies on how to have that conversation, when to have it,
and how the male brain works so you can make a conversation about
feelings more appropriate to him.
Well, that's the video. Thanks for watching! I hope you've learned
a lot about the Emotionally Unavailable partner from this video.
It is one of the most toxic types of male dating personalities, and if
you want to know about some of the others, make sure you download
the guide, the 10 Male Dating Personalities That Lead To
Heartbreak. I'll put the link up here and in the description as well.
Make sure you grab that. It's free. My free report and very important
to know about these types of guys. Well, that's it. Thank you for watching!
Make sure you subscribe if you haven't already. Hit the little bell, so you get
the notifications. Give the video a thumbs up and leave a comment.
Leave a comment below. Have you dated an emotionally unavailable guy
in a relationship? Do you think you could have an emotionally unavailable
partner right now? I'd love to hear from you, so make sure you leave your comment
below. I'll see you in the next video about sharing his feelings really soon.
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