I'll bet you found this video because your parents won't let you play video
games. I'm a psychologist and I know a little bit about parent psychology let's crack this.
I've got three tips for you today about how to handle this video
game issue with your parents but first you gotta understand a little bit of
parent psychology. You need to know how they think because sometimes it doesn't
feel like they are thinking they're just reacting and trying to control you right?
Well when you understand parent psychology, you'll be able to work with
your parents in a way that will have them working with you a little better.
See parents aren't that hard to figure out. First of all let's start with this,
Your parents love you.
Now, you might want to argue with me about that
But they do I know parents. And even parents that don't know what they're
doing in terms of limits and rules, still love their kids they're just trying to
figure out how to do the best job they can as parents. And because your parents
love you there is one thing that they want for you above everything else do
you know what it is? Think about this the one thing they want for you,
is for you to be happy.
Awww isn't that nice it's true that's all they want.
And because they want you to be happy, they've got all kinds of ideas about how
that's going to happen. And they watch you to see if you're making choices that
are gonna lead you into happiness or lead you into prison right I know that's
an exaggeration but sometimes right? So understanding that, your parents need to
understand that you are making good choices that will lead you to happiness.
Now happiness and fun are not the same thing so
doesn't count that you're having fun playing video games. They need to know
that you're doing the kinds of things that will make your life happy and
productive. So that leads me to the three tips that I wanted to share with you.
Tip number one is to understand opportunity cost. Opportunity cost is whatever any
opportunity is going to cost you and what opportunities you will lose as a
result of choosing one or the other. Here's an example if you go to the store
with $20 and you spend that twenty dollars on a new game. What don't you get
to spend that twenty dollars on anything else you could have bought with the
twenty dollars so the other things you could have bought with the twenty
dollars represent the opportunity cost of spending it on that game. Now in a
similar way how we spend our time means that we don't get to spend it on
something else I'm guessing your parents probably aren't too concerned about the
games you're playing if they are maybe that's another conversation but most
games are okay they're not bad you can't really make that argument with your
parents because they already know it's not a bad game what they're concerned
about is all of that other stuff that you're not doing while you're over there
playing your game you're tracking this the opportunity cost so they might be
thinking oh as long as he's playing that game he's not doing his homework do you
see that's the opportunity cost as long as he's playing that game he's not
working to earn some money opportunity cost. This is important
because it's how parents think so give a little thought for a moment to the
opportunity cost of you playing video games.
That's important for you, personally.
But also it's going to help you to deal with your parents.
Okay, here's tip number two and this one is huge for parents
Sometimes they feel like they have to control you because you don't control you .
Right?
They want to put limits on the game, why? Because you're not putting
limits on the game.
Learn to self limit. This is a maturity factor it actually
tells your parents that you're more mature if you put the limits on it. So
what just try this what if the next time you're playing the game you actually
have a kitchen timer sitting right there by your computer, and the kitchen timer
is counting down for some reasonable amount of time let's say, start with a
half-hour okay I know nobody plays a game for just a half-hour but what if
you did what if you set a little timer right by your computer half hour when it
goes ding or when it the alarm goes off you turn off the game. I know you
probably don't want to cut the game off after a half-hour but here's the thing.
If your parents see you doing that they're not gonna feel like they have to
put the limits on the game. It's parent psychology ok let's go to the third tip
because this one affects the other two as well. Communicate. you've got a mouth
You got a mouth, right? you know the language, right? Talk to your parents let them know that
you're on it if you're on it. They don't have to be this is the best way I know
to get your parents to back off of anything you show them that you're on it
and communicate that. So like the other two things that I shared with you
opportunity cost I can just see this now you sit down to dinner with your parents
and you bring up hey mom dad I've been thinking about the opportunity costs
involved with playing that game and I'm a little concerned okay first of all
you're probably gonna have to revive your parents right about then because
they're not expecting this but it's gonna blow them away that you know
something about opportunity cost and they're gonna think you're more mature
and if they think you're more mature they're gonna back off and not be quite
so controlling this is brilliant what about the second one that I shared with
you learning to self limit. You might say, "you know what mom I put a limit on that
game today cut it off after a half-hour and it was hard but I kind of like the
way that I felt being able to just turn it off right then still have fun".
Who talks like this? Well I'll tell you what
people who don't have to worry about their parents controlling their behavior
talk like this
I hope you found this helpful and if you
did you can share it with your buddies. If you need help with your parents send
them to me I've worked with a lot of parents there's a website called
parentingpowerup.com
You can link to it right over there or
down in the description. And if you send your parents there, they get to start
learning some things that will help them to be less controlling and that's going
to be good for you.