Hey everybody, hello, I trust you all are having a fabulous day there. All right, since
today's world is so tempted running towards one thing in common, what is that? To become
a leader, being a boss, being a manager, young CEOs everyone wants that position for themselves,
don't you think so? They want to be known as a leader and most importantly they want
to be known as a successful leader, right? That one word success is important here. There
is one thing that is highly required to become successful and that is what, what is it? Confidence
there is a certain charm about people who have confidence. When they're around you their
personalities make you happy, you get inspired by them, motivated by them, agree with me?
Okay good we spoke about confidence because often confidence is slightly misunderstood,
do you agree with me? And today here on Skillopedia we are going to learn the difference between
confidence and arrogance. Now you guys should notice that there is a thin line between the
two, they can make or break your career. If you're confident but if you're arrogant it's
done. Well guys this is me Meera and you have joined me today to identify what kind of behavior
you have and turn that into a much confident version instead of an arrogant one.
Okay guys let me start with these two images right here okay, now observe this one, what
do you see? Well would you call this confidence or would you call this arrogance? Try to observe.
Okay now check this one out, what is this, Confidence or arrogance? And your observances
you can comment. Okay now obviously what has happened is that the confident person has
won your heart and probably put us nice smile on your face, naturally the arrogant one you
don't feel so good about it. It's the worst thing to have guys. Now some people are worried
that if they become confident, what if they cross that line and become arrogant? On the
other hand there are people who are worried that others might perceive their confidence
as arrogance, right? It happens that, ‘oh my god, what if they think I'm arrogant and
but I'm confident’. Okay now let me tell you a quick story about a girl, so this girl
had to decide between two men, right? Whether whom she would like to marry. Now the thing
is both were doing really well in their careers, both of them liked her very much, they were
very well educated with a nice family. So she decided to ask them one common question
and then based on that she would decide and choose. The question was, ‘why should I
choose you?’ So the one said because I'm well settled in my career, highly qualified
and I can buy you anything you want, you will never fall short of anything, believe me.
The other one said, well I chose you because you're honest and you want to be with someone
who doesn't misuse this quality and you should choose me because I recognize that quality
in you. Well guys what do you think of this one? Which one was confident, the first one
or the second one? And which one was arrogant, the first one or the second one? Difficult
choice, right? I'll tell you what you can, you can believe me because I am a woman myself,
so the second answer was the confident one and not arrogant one. The first one seemed
like an interview, that this is what we need to understand, right? That you should choose
me because so and so. Now the thin line between both was the same that what you choose to
answer at what time and what words you choose. Now let us hear an interview example, when
asked, ‘why should we choose you over other candidates?’ One candidate said, ‘you
should choose me because, I have what others don't have, I have been winning in every single
competition I have participated in my college and I am meant to lead’. Now he thought
that was confidence on the other hand the next one said, ‘it is only fair to talk
about my own self as I don't know other candidates, you should choose me because the company's
goals and my interests and passion it's a perfect match’. Now one is arrogant because,
why because arrogance only has big words and loud words but it lacks basic information
about anything, about other things whereas the second candidate spoke only about himself
where he spoke well about the company is wrong so he balanced it out, right? Who would get
the job in this case try to answer this one and who sounds arrogant?
What happens is with arrogant people is that they stop learning, all right? And people
with self-confidence along with humility are always learning and success comes only to
those who keep learning because they are the ones who keep growing. How would you identify
when you are being arrogant, right? This is something we need to understand and know for
ourselves. Now for starters, when you think you are the smartest of all. If you are in
the office and someone gives you an advice or tries to correct you and completely and
you completely ignore it, so your friends, they think you're grammatically incorrect
and they're trying to tell you but you ignore it, basically you don't like being questioned
and you're being a, you're being a fool stop to yourself and for your team's growth. Now
you tell me, this stops my learning process, right? Of course it does because you don't
get to know the right thing. There you go now this is a cycle my dear friends, turn
deaf ears to others that means, don't listen to others, stop learning, less knowledge,
no success, right? How can you fix this? Now how can you turn this arrogance and this behavior
and become confident? Take a step ahead and ask for honest feedbacks, right? Go for it,
try to ask your co-workers, talk to your friends, ask questions and allow them to give you more
information. Now this way what you have done is, you would develop a learning attitude,
this attitude will help you improve continuously and the cycle will thus break and one more
thing I want, I don't want to forget to tell you is that learn to laugh at yourself, at
your mistakes sometimes it's okay, just chill, we're all humans, we all make mistakes, so
it's fine, right? So people can tell you what's right or wrong just go for it.
All right then, now let's, let us say I was supposed to reply to an important mail about
which I just completely forgot, okay? So I was supposed to do this work and I forgot.
My colleague reminded me and at the same time my boss received that a complaint that I had
forgotten to reply to some clients email. I was questioned by my boss, right? First
I told her, ‘I had replied’, I didn't tell her the truth to be frank. Then I told
her that, ‘I thought I had replied, umm’ and kept giving reasons and reasons. I know,
I know I should have accepted my mistake in the first go, right? So guys the next time
when you find people not admitting mistakes and blaming others and giving reasons, tell
them, so just to suggest them to accept their mistake and take accountability for their
actions and this is another way to learn when you are being arrogant and adamant about things.
Confidence leaders are humble, you guys. Try saying things like, ‘you're right, this
was my fault’. Don't see mistakes as a sign of weakness is something that you need to
understand learn from them is what you need to do. When you take responsibility for your
failure one day I am sure about this you will be given responsibility to make important
decisions and that's what success is all about guys.
Do you have friends who talk a lot about themselves? Well we had this classmate okay in college
and she used to always start telling stories or any incidences with you know ‘I or me
or mine, my mother and I’, do you know that day when I went there… She always had a
habit of praising herself. Now some classmates including so many of our professors actually
thought of her as a confident young lady who spoke so much about herself and who could
speak so much about herself but you know what when she was asked to lead our class in a
project in a competition, she never made decisions that were beneficial to all of us, believe
me. So that just you know that we could win, now these are arrogant people whom I call
self-centered people. Now I know that a lot of people know this but they don't understand
that this is arrogance. Now to get rid of this behavior, start with simple steps like
remember other people's names and basic things about them right, so that you instead of just
speaking about yourself you have someone else to talk about as a confident leader give priority
to others you know around you but just simply supporting them, inspiring them, motivating
them. Imagine a movie whose director, actor, producer, singer, music composer, editor they
are all the same, can you imagine this? I cannot. Well guys this person is surely someone
who likes to only brag about himself, just talk about himself, show off his talent and
the main point to not give any opportunity to anybody else or to others. These people
are also, they're the ones who don't like to be to praise others or to appreciate someone
else. Someone who praises only themselves all the time and is often recognized as arrogant
and not talented, believe me doing everything by yourself is not talent it's just arrogance,
I think so, true. Now how can you turn this around to become more successful? Start with
simple things guys, just pat on someone's back when they do a good job, say ‘well
done’, right? How about shaking hands with people and congratulating them? This way you
will slowly demonstrate humility, right? And motivate people around you, that's a great way to start.
There's another sign to know that you're arrogant and not confident, right do you want to know
what that is? And this is a real bad habit as well. These are the people who just don't
care about anybody else's sentiments or emotions or simply don't even respect them forget about
caring about it. Saying things such as, that is ‘so stupid’, oh ‘how dumb’, laughs
one of others mistakes like oh my god, how stupid. Their arrogance is seen in their communication
style and skills, verbal as well as nonverbal. Now for example, nonverbal example of arrogance,
shaking hands only with people with higher position or better position and not juniors,
right? Whenever you're busy, whenever you, when someone's talking and you're busy on
your phone while others are talking, right? Raising voices when people are talking to
one another, that's verbal. People do not remain loyal to such human beings, do you
know that? And they end up losing respect from them as well. Now like I said, this type
is the most rude one that I think you really can work on this by thinking every time before
you say anything you know simply set limits verbal limits for yourself. For example or
nonverbal as well for example I will not look at my phone when others are talking to me.
I will not use words such as, ‘stupid’, ‘I won't be able to do this’, you know
being negative or ‘you won't be able to do this’ and be polite in your actions right
try to do that more often. You know what they say right, the final test of a gentleman or
any human is his ‘respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.’ That's
the final test. So guys next time make sure that you shake hands with one and all and
include all of them together. All right, great job sticking through this video guys because
now you know more than few people out there and how you can treat you, others as well
as yourself much more kindly make less mistakes and learn from them. Remember confident and
successful people believe in themselves, right? Listen to others and accept their point of
views as well. I'm sure you all will turn out to be fine people by the end of practice,
practicing each point, okay? Well putting a smile back on your face, please go ahead
and practice or you can preach, I will see you soon with another lesson in another topic
here on Skillopedia for now this is me Meera taking your leave, bye.