Do age differences matter? So this is a video you've been asking for for quite awhile. Is
age just a number or is there more to it than that? That's what I'm telling you about in
today's video. Some fascinating research has come out of Emery University in Atlanta and
they have found the perfect age gap for a couple. Don't forget to download the first
chapter of my book, which is now available for free from the link in the description
below. Let's talk age differences because before we get into the exact amount that is
ideal. I think it's important to discuss the type of relationship that you're wanting to
build because that matters. You know, there's some cultures and you might be this way yourself,
where you're looking for a relationship where the power dynamic isn't exactly balanced.
You know, there's cultures where the man is the head of the house. The wife must obey
the man, you know, if she doesn't, they can be major consequences. If this is the type
of relationship you're looking for, then the results of this study might not be reflective
of you. Cause remember, this is from a Western society. This was from Atlanta. This study
was aimed at couples who are generally looking for a roughly equal power balance in their
relationships. So remember that as you're listening to these results. All right, so
what did the study find about age differences? Well, the study wasn't actually on age differences.
The study was actually on wedding expenditure. They wanted to find out if you spent more
on your wedding would it mean you were more likely to stay together? Turns out the opposite
was true, particularly above a certain point, increased wedding expenditure led to a higher
rate of divorce, but the most interesting part of this study was the side result they
found about age differences.
The study looked at more than 3000 couples and happened to find some very interesting
trends relating to age differences. It turns out if there's a five year age gap in your
relationship, you are 19% more likely to break up than ah.. an equal age couple. The study
keeps going. If there was a 10 year age difference, it turns out you are 39% more likely to break
up than an equal age couple and if the age gap was bigger, things kind of just keep getting
worse. For a 20 year age cap, you're 95% more likely to break up than an equal age couple.
Now the study didn't look into the exact reasons this trend occurred. It just reported on the
trend itself and while the sample size wasn't amazing, it was certainly enough that we can
garner some good evidence from it - that age gap causes problems.
Now the study postulated a few and I've certainly seen evidence of these in my coaching. Here's
what tends to happen. Here's some of the issues that come up with age gaps. Number one is
that a greater age gap means that there's a greater chance of practical incompatibilities
occurring. For example, timeline for kids and family, significantly different earning
or education levels, different interests based on your age. A 30 year old and a 50 year old
tend to just have different interests and they don't want to do as many things together.
These age gaps will lead to practical incompatibilities, which can put stress and pressure on a relationship.
The second thing that can occur with age gaps is toxic patterns can develop. Treating a
partner like your parent or your child putting a partner on a pedestal or seeing them as
way below you, putting your partner's needs way above or way below your own are all toxic
dynamics that are much more likely to develop when there's an age gap, especially a significant
one.
And number three is the stress from outside sources and outside people. Unfortunately
we tend to look down on people who have big age gaps, particularly age gaps over 10 years
in their relationships, stress from family and from friends telling you the relationship
is wrong and you're with the wrong person can contribute to break up in these circumstances.
So those are some of the things to be aware of. And I'm going to do another video, and
I'm assuming you'd want to hear another video on how to circumvent these challenges, how
to make sure you're forming an equal standing equal power reciprocal relationship, even
when the age gap is significant. If you'd like to hear that video, let me know in the
comments. And so I did promise you to end the video. I'd tell you the perfect age gap
and this study of 3000 couples out of Emery University tells us that based on statistical
data, an age gap of just one year is the best possible age gap to avoid divorce. Well, that's
the video. Thank you for watching. Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions, et
cetera. Put it all in the space below. Give the video a thumbs up, hit that big subscribe
button with the little bell next to it, and make sure you get your free gift. The first
chapter of my book now available for free in the description below. Thanks again for
watching and I'll see you on the next video very soon.
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