so we tried the cops and try the
newspapers and even set up a you know a
thing on the internet for people to help
us find Tommy um but we got nothing we
never saw our son again
I came up with the name remembering
Tommy and we've been doing this three
nights a week
so Colonel stars and stripes found it
online
that's terrible guys I'm sorry I became
night after my sister was murdered
and found in a dumpster doesn't bring
her back but at least I'm doing
something positive about it you're sick
man yeah um I've been bullied my my
whole life for being gay so now I stand
up with the defenseless that's why I
don't wear a mask too much like being
back in the closet long as your hearts
in the right place we don't care what
you put in your mouth those bum thank
you thank you sir well I became battle
guy after my parents were mugged and
killed coming home from the Opera as I
tell you guys at that sick bastard maxed
out their credit cards on porno sites I
just hope we get the chance to say hello
to this guy someday so I can personally
levitate his soul from his body oh my
god Marty yeah I know recognized your
voice no I don't I don't know what
you're talking about
I don't know money new guy hey
it's me Dave Dave why are you dressed
like kick-ass because I'm kick-ass you
two know each other
oh yeah like since we were five it's all
this about your parents getting
killed yeesh languish what battle guy
care to update your resume
uh uh I'm trying to figure out how to
explain this without sounding like a
completed here right now yeah I'm not
sure that's possible Batman I'm not
either um okay well when I found you
guys online you were all swapping these
awesome origin stories I mean Colonel
you're ex-mafia for Christ's sake
yo don't take the Lord's name in vain
I'm sorry
I just didn't think you guys would let
me join the team unless I had a good
story - all right well let you off the
hook this time battle guy want to see
something cool yeah thought this could
be our meeting room oh so cool now this
little renovation was totally
clandestine which means nobody knew
about it now I know it's not much this
is just the beginning together we can
make a real difference if you'd consider
it kick-ass we'd be honored to have you
join us
hell yeah