Numbers are tricky.
And they're even trickier in politics.
Some numbers are valid and support my argument,
while others are backstabbing fakes
that go against my argument.
Those numbers are called lies.
Now, this is complicated.
Even the same numbers can change allegiance,
like the unemployment numbers earlier this year.
You remember when they were fake,
and then they became real when Trump took over?
REPORTER: In the past, the president has referred
to particular jobs reports as phony or totally fiction.
Does the president believe that this jobs report
was accurate and a fair way to measure the economy?
Yeah, I-I talked to the president prior to this,
uh, and he said to quote him very clearly.
"They may have been phony in the past, but it's very real now."
(laughter)
They're laughing at how ridiculous they sound
asking that question in the first place.
So let's find out if this week's numbers
-are good guys -(angelic music plays)
-or bad guys. -(buzzer)
First up: Trump's latest approval numbers.
The numbers are looking a bit better for President Trump.
He's at 43% in our new
NBC News/Wall Street Journal
That's a three-point uptick since August.
He's also up in Gallup, so this is across the board.
Okay, 43. You seem innocent enough,
but, uh, what do we know?
It's a terrible grade on a spelling test,
but a fantastic score
on the pommel horse.
But can we trust 43 as an approval rating?
Trump said in February
that any "negative polls are fake news.”
But is 43 negative?
Well, I'm told it's less than half,
but what I'm really interested in is trends,
and this number is technically on the uptick.
Who knows what it will be next week-- 45? 95?
It's a grower, not a shower.
And that's an argument I am familiar with.
-So, 43: a good guy. -(angelic music plays)
But where else is numbers?
My big-suited friends say the stock market.
The stock market is at an all-time high.
So I'm really proud, 'cause a record
in the history of our country's stock market.
Tremendous gains.
People that truly dislike your president,
the heads of these companies are coming up
and hugging me and kissing me.
Oh, when you're a star, they let you do it.
The stock market is up.
In fact, the Dow recently set a new record when it hit 22,000.
But is that a number we can trust?
Now, some whiny liberal economists may tell you
that this economic boom is actually holdover growth
from Obama's policies, like Dodd-Frank
and the 2009 stimulus package.
They might even point at census data
that says real median household income grew
over the last two years.
But I don't trust this.
Who doesn't lie to the census?
Why should the government know how many kids I have
and how many refrigerators I own?
And it's a lot, by the way, to both questions.
So stop asking.
I like cold things and little people. Simple.
The point is 22,000 is a good number...
for 45, not for 44.
Now, you can't hide from me, numbers.
So let's put a fresh one in the feed.
Challenge me. Just give me something.
REPORTER:
is in hot water over taking dozens of charter flights
on private jets.
REPORTER 2:
to the taxpayers.
(whoops) Okay. Hoo boy.
I can do this. Now, o-on the surface,
it seems like Tom Price, a multi-millionaire
spending $400,000 in taxpayer's money
on personal travel--
I mean, that number-- sounds kind of like a-a bad guy.
But, uh... I got this. Follow me, here.
400,000. Four.
Four is the number of legs on a horse.
And horses were popular in the 1830s.
1830 is military time
for 6:30.
And 6:30 is when the sun goes down.
And son is also a male child,
which is who Tom Price was visiting.
And visiting has eight letters.
And a son is half a father.
Eight divided in half is four.
And what has four letters?
"Good." So...
Simple.
So, Tom Price spending $400,000
of taxpayers' money on private transportation
is a good number. Close one.
Now, finally,
and I had no doubt in my mind
we were the most-watched show of all time.
But, according to big Nielsen, we were eclipsed
by
whose numbers were apparently larger than ours.
Let me be clear.
I don't get beaten by nine-year-old nerds.
I haven't gotten beaten up by a nine-year-old
since I was 15.
Then once more when I was 21,
but there were two of them, so technically,
I got beat up by an 18-year-old.
And that hasn't happened since Tuesday.
So, now, who's the mathmologist, Sheldon?