Are you dealing with a narcissist and want to know if it's possible to fool them?
It is, and by the end of this video,
you're going to know exactly how to do it. Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, top 1% attorney and
the best-selling author of the books Negotiate Like You Matter and Breaking Free, A Step-By-Step
Divorce Guide, and I've helped millions of people go from lives of drama, trauma, chaos, toxic stew,
gaslighting, flying monkeys, and the whole crazy pot all the way, step-by-step,
to lives of freedom, possibility, purpose, new beginnings, and new futures, and I do the same
thing for you right here on this channel and in these videos, so make sure you subscribe.
You can subscribe, hit that notification bell, and that way you'll get notified
when I upload new content and when I go live. So let's talk about how to fool a narcissist.
Narcissists seem like they can never be fooled. They tell you that they can never be fooled.
They want you to believe that no one could ever pull the wool over their eyes, and
a lot of how they're successful is because they've got the whole world believing
that they can't be fooled, that they're smarter than everybody else, that they
know things before anybody else knows things. That's how they're able to open so many doors
for themselves, including the one where they walked into your life and became part of a
relationship with you. I mean, unless obviously it's a parent or a sibling or something like that,
then obviously you had no choice. But if it was a relationship that you got into
voluntarily, because you met this person, they seemed amazing, they love bombed you to death, you
thought that they were absolutely perfect for you, it's because narcissists have spent their entire
lives learning how to be master manipulators. They figured out early, early on as children,
or they felt that as children, something happened to them, something bad,
something that caused them to not trust the world, something that caused them to believe
that they're not whole, that they're not complete, that they have no inner sense of
value, so they became master manipulators and it's something that they started early, early on.
They've had way more than 10,000 hours, the old adage about it takes 10,000 hours to be
skilled at something. Well, they've had their entire lifetimes to work on being master
manipulators. Part of the thing in getting to learn how to fool a narcissist is that you have to
believe that you can fool a narcissist, and you have to start pulling apart that onion and
starting to realize, hey, maybe this person isn't as smart as they think they are. Maybe they're
not as powerful as they think they are. Maybe I'm not as bad as they want me to believe that I am.
So when I talk about negotiating, one of the things that I say is that 80% of a negotiation
is won before you even walk into a room, and 50% of it is actually believing that you can
put forth a position and actually win. So a lot of times when you're dealing with narcissists,
and especially if they've worked on you mentally for years and years and years, it's really hard
to get out of that thinking and thinking like, I can turn this around. I can shift this dynamic.
They're not as strong as I think that they are. They don't have all the flying
monkeys lined up the way they tell me that they do. So I would say the first thing in
fooling a narcissist is right in your head, and that is believing that you can,
believing that you can shift that dynamic. And I've done it for millions of people
at this point. In my law practice, I've done it for thousands of people.
Through my programs, my resources, my YouTube videos, and all the different things that I offer,
I've helped millions of people all over the world, literally all over the world at this point. So
believe me when I tell you that you can fool a narcissist and you will be able to do it
in a way where you don't feel like you've been beat up and run through the ringer.
Okay? So that's the first thing that I want you to understand when it comes to fooling a narcissist.
The second thing I want you to know is that in some ways, just think about this, the higher
they fly the harder the fall is, or the bigger they are the easier the target. So just remember
that they aren't necessarily as powerful as they portray themselves to be. So the next thing I want
you to remember who they are and what they are. So think about what it is that drives them,
and that is that narcissistic supply. So they get supply also from
making you feel intimidated, making you squirm, feeling like they've controlled you in some way.
So if you lead them to believe that there's something that's really, really important to
you when it's not actually all that important to you, then they'll want to go after that.
I just had this conversation with a guy yesterday where he said to me, "I don't even really care
about the house or staying in the house or keeping the house in this particular divorce." And I said,
"Okay, but you're not going to let her know that. You're going to say, 'I really want the house.
The house is the most important thing to me'," because then that's what she's going to make sure
that he doesn't get. She's going to do everything she can to make sure he doesn't get the house.
So when they're negotiating and I said, when you're negotiating, you can turn around and say,
"I really want to keep the house." And she says "No." You're going to have to sell the
house and you're going to have to act all upset, but who was fooled? The narcissist
is the one that was fooled because now he'll get something else instead of that house,
which is fine with him because he didn't want the house anyway. But the narcissist will have been
fooled in that particular instance that way. So that's how you fool a narcissist in negotiations.
Another way that you can start to fool a narcissist is by not buying into their emotional
stuff, not taking the bait, because they're going to think that you're going to be really, really
upset and you can act like you're upset, but then in real life you're actually not. Starting to
love yourself more than you love them, starting to believe that you can actually be more powerful but
acting like you're still upset or something like that. Then they get narcissistic supply from that
and you're totally cool, calm, and collected. Another thing that you can do is what I call
bartering, and I talk about this a lot in my three must have secrets to communicating with
a narcissist webinar, which if you haven't come to my webinar, you should definitely do that.
We will make sure that a link to sign up for that webinar is pinned to the first comment here
so that you can come join me in that. But one of the things I talk about is
something called bartering, and it's my term for giving something to get something. So you're kind
of fooling the narcissist by fluffing up their ego so that you can get something that you want.
So how it works is you do something like can you help Johnny with his math homework? You're so much
better at it than I am and he'll get so much more benefit from it if you help him rather than me.
So you've kind of fooled that narcissist into helping your son or your son together
with his homework, but you've done it in such a way that it's fluffing up their ego so they feel
like they're getting something and they feel like, "Oh yeah, I'm offering so much value."
I mean, it's kind of sad that you might have to do that with their own kid, but sometimes that's what
you have to do in order to fool that narcissist. And another thing that you can start doing
to fool the narcissist is just start investing in yourself, start doing things that are just for
you, start having a life beyond them. They will still think that your world revolves around them,
but if you could start secretly gathering your support team, gathering your stash of cash,
doing the things that you need to do to prepare to get out of the relationship, that will be
also another good way to fool them. And if you are getting ready to divorce a narcissist,
make sure that you also watch my video on how to prepare to divorce a narcissist.
And if you're going to do any of the things that I suggested in this video,
I want to see an I'm doing it in the comments. And if you're getting ready to negotiate with a
narcissist says, make sure to grab my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet. It's an ebook,
it's helped thousands of people, it will help you. You can just get it at winmynegotiation.com.
And if you liked this video, make sure you like it, share it so that it helps others,
drop me a comment, and subscribe and hit that notification bell.
If you want to have more support, you're feeling isolated, you're feeling alone,
believe me, you are not. Come join me in my free private Facebook group, it's called Narcissist
Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. And we'll make sure that links to all of this stuff is below in the
description. So thanks so much for stopping by my channel and watching this video today. Remember,
today is a great day to start negotiating your best life. I'll see you in the next video.