How To Take Control Of Your Life [0:00:00]
Antonio: Have you ever felt that your life is out of control that if you have to describe
your current situation with one word, it would be chaos?
Guys, in today’s video, how to refocus and how to take control of your life.
[Music] I’ve got Ryan Michler here to give you an awesome quick presentation.
Now, these are the highlights from the stage at Menfluential this last year.
This guy for multiple years has shown up to my event in Atlanta, Georgia and just rock
the stage.
So, without further ado, guys, here is Ryan’s presentation.
Ryan: I look at guys every single day.
And it’s really interesting when you look at an individual’s face and you try to understand
where they’re coming from like I can see when somebody is lost.
I can see when they don’t have a purpose.
I can see when they don’t have a mission.
I can see when they don’t have that compass guiding them to where they need to be, right?
You guys can see that.
You can see that in a person’s eyes.
And what I think most people are missing is a mission.
Why are you here?
Why are you here on this planet?
What are you supposed to be doing with your life?
Why aren’t you acting on the things that you know you should be doing?
You start moving in the right direction and having a mission and having some clarity and
having some purpose, your life changes.
And you can see it and the external results that you produce, but you can see it in your
eyes.
That you can see it in the individual’s – you can see it the fire and the passion
and the excitement and the enthusiasm when somebody has a purpose and a mission.
When I went on my journey to save my marriage, that was – that was the mission at the point.
At that point, the mission was I’ve got save the marriage.
I’ve got be a dad, I’ve got to be a husband, I’ve got to be a man, I’ve got to step
up the way that I think I need to step up in this situation.
But, what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was actually starting a new journey,
a new mission because as I shared that story I had dozens and dozens and then hundreds
and then thousands and tens of thousands and no millions of people that connect with a
story I shared because they’ve gone through similar experiences and they want to find
a way out for themselves.
That’s my mission is to help men overcome some of the same things that I’ve overcome,
some of the same stuff that I have been through.
And it’s my life’s work.
And at the end of the day what I realized and this is specifically I think what our
job is as men on this planet is – is why we’re here to protect, to provide, preside,
protecting our families our businesses our communities.
That is our role and responsibility.
Now, the way that we do that is different, right?
It’s different for everybody.
The way that I do that is different than the way might – you might do that, right?
But, it’s all the same.
And when a man steps into this protect, provide, preside, I’m telling you what, again, his
life changes.
He has passion, he has energy, he has enthusiasm, he’s driven and nothing gets in his way.
I think Eric was joking about running through a brick wall this morning.
When he knows what he’s supposed to do, that brick wall is no longer a barrier, it’s
just a temporary distraction or an obstacle to overcome.
Next, third.
Code of conduct.
All right.
Here’s what happens when you don’t have a way that you’re going to operate and live
your life.
When things get difficult and challenging -- and they will -- or emotional, if you don’t
have some sort of principle that you’re relying upon how easy is it to drift, right?
How easy it is to sway from side to side or, hey, this sounds exciting I’m going to do
this and this sounds like it has potential and I’m going to do this because you don’t
really know in your heart how you’re going to operate.
I hear this all the time, guys will say, oh, man, I, you know, I made the biggest mistake
of life.
I cheated on my wife.
And what I hear a lot is I lost myself in the moment, I got caught up in the heat of
things.
You didn’t have a code of conduct.
You didn’t decide before things got intense how you were going to behave when things get
intense.
And if you look at every great organization, every great organization, they all have a
code of conduct.
You look at Christianity for example, the Ten Commandments.
You look at every military unit there is has their creed or their code of conduct.
Even pirates and this is what I found interesting as I was doing some research, even pirates
criminals pirates have a code of conduct called The Articles Agreement.
There’s something to having a code of conduct.
Now, I can’t – I wrote in the book, I called it the code of conduct.
I’m thinking about it now and I tend to analyze my work.
I probably should have called it a code of conduct because I don’t believe that there’s
one way that everybody should do it.
You should do it this way, no deviation, this is accurate and this is correct.
I don’t believe that’s true.
So, what I would change that to if I was going to do it all over again and I’m not going
to do it all over again at least for a little while let’s call it a code of conduct.
[0:04:52] I’m going to show you mine, okay?
You have to determine what your code of conduct looks like.
These are thirteen virtues along the journey that I’ve discovered that have helped me
step into the role of protector, provider, presider.
That have helped me fulfill my mission my purpose my obligation in a way.
You guys have to come up with your own.
Some of those, you may say are important; others you may say, well, not as much emphasis
on that.
I know what yours looks like, but this is my code of conduct.
All right.
If you didn’t get a picture ask somebody to text your – or e-mail me later and I’ll
get it for you, okay?
Number four.
The battle plan.
All right.
This is important.
You know what you want, you have a code of conduct, you’re have – you have a mission
and I’ve talked with a lot of you guys.
I’ve talked to a lot of you guys who are like, man, I really want to start this business
and I really want to do this and I really want to develop this.
I don’t know how to do it.
I don’t know what to do.
This is what you need right here.
This is the missing piece.
You got to have a plan of action, right?
You’ve got to have a course of action.
You’ve got a way – find a way in which direction you’re going to move.
I’m here to tell you it’s not going to work the first time.
It’s okay, because built into a battle plan is room to improve and room to grow and room
to develop and articulate and find new ways of doing things.
So, let’s talk about this.
Number one, vision.
And when I talk about vision, what I’m talking about is I want you to project yourself out
into the future.
And this is a cool thing that human beings can do.
Every single one of us in this room has the capacity – I do not want to trip over my
shoelaces – has the cap – that would be funny though – has the capacity to project
yourself into the future.
So, I have a lot of people who say, Ryan, I’m trying to decide between this job or
that job or this career or this college.
Good!
Project yourself out in the future thirty years, then look back and ask yourself which
decision you will be happy that you had made.
Pretty simple stuff and we can do it as a human being.
So, when I’m talking about vision, visualize.
What is – what is being a good husband look like?
What is being a good father, what is being a good mother, what is being a good son, what
is being a good neighbor, what is being a good business owner, what happens in my day
to day operations and get so emotionally attached to that vision that it becomes crystal clear
and you’re solely focus on that vision.
This is what I want.
This is what I want life to look like.
Now, that we have that, this isn’t about like the secret where it’s a law of attraction
stuff.
Now, what we do is we work backwards, right?
This is what I want life to look like, now, let’s work backwards so I can figure out
what I need to do today right now in order to have the things that I’ve identified
that I want to have.
Step number two.
Objectives.
I happen to plan a 90-day segments, all right?
So, in the next 90 days, what do I want out of my life?
And it’s not I want to be healthy.
Let’s do this.
How many of you by show of hands and please participate want to be healthy?
Congratulations!
Welcome to the club.
You want to be healthy.
How many of you want to make more money?
Raise your hand.
Congratulations.
Everybody wants to make more money.
What the hell does that even mean?
Like what is more money?
More money means different things to different people.
Better health means different things to different people, so it’s not enough to say I want
to be healthy or I want to make a lot of money.
What?
What specific – how much money?
And how long?
What does health look like?
What is being, again, what is being a good father actually look like?
Crystallize those objectives.
Number three.
Checkpoints.
You’ve got to know I put this little dashboard for a plan.
You’ve got to know where – where you’re going, you’ve got to have the objectives
and then you’ve got to figure out am I on the right track like am I progressing?
I’m progressing I’m moving, but am I doing the right thing is it doing the needle?
And so, I look at 30 and 60-day objective or excuse me, checkpoints as a – as a barometer
if you will.
What I’m doing is working.
Good, keep going.
Or what I’m doing is not working.
Stop, re-evaluate, create a new course of action moving forward.
And then, lastly is the after action review.
And this is what I talked about, everybody misses this, guys.
Everybody misses this.
This is a term and a tool that I use in the military, but essentially it’s a way to
evaluate your actions moving forward.
So, it’s five questions.
I didn’t write them down on here, I’m going to give them to you real quick.
Five very simple questions.
You go to write this down quick.
If you have questions about them, later I’ll answer them for you, okay?
Number one.
What did I accomplish?
So, I set out to do X, Y, and Z.
Did I accomplish X, Y, and Z.
Number two.
What did I not accomplish?
And this isn’t an opportunity to beat yourself up, it’s purely an objective look.
I wanted to do this, I did 70% of that and I’m 30% short.
Don’t – you don’t need to beat yourself up over that, that’s an objective look.
That’s number two, what did I not get done.
Number three.
What did I do well?
And what areas did I thrive during this planning process?
What are my strengths?
What do I need to double down on?
Number four.
What did I not do so well?
Maybe I didn’t delegate.
Maybe I didn’t bring the right team in.
Maybe I didn’t plan well enough.
Maybe I didn’t have enough capital.
What did I not do well?
[0:10:07] And then, number five, this is the most important question – most important
question.
Potentially, the most important question of this entire conference and that question is
what will I do moving forward.
I see a lot of you guys taking notes and I commend you for taking notes, I commend you
for being engaged, I commend you for being involved.
But, it doesn’t mean a damn thing if you’re not willing to implement whatever you guys
are writing down right now.
So, I want you to think about at the end of this conference at the end of hearing all
these amazing successful people, what am I going to do with all of this information.
How is it actually going to enhance my life or did I just come for a good time?
And sometimes, okay, but at least be real about it.
Or did I come to actually learn something?
Did I actually come to implement and improve something in my life?
Guys, this is a very, very simple process.
And what I’ve noticed is that a lot of people will overlook it because of its simplicity.
Antonio: All right, gentlemen.
What do you think?
Pretty darn good, right?
Well, if you want more, I’m linking to his book, Sovereignty down in the description
of this video.
I’m also going to link over to his YouTube channel.
I’m also going to link to Order of Man.
Why do I do this?
Because Ryan is a friend and he’s the real deal.
And I love to promote people that have gone of their way for me and I will go out of my
way for them.
And, that’s what you want, guys, to build up friendships.
You want to surround yourself with men that inspire you and there’s nothing wrong with
that.
So, guys, he’s got a great community over at Order of Man.
I recommend it, I’m a part of it and I’m linking to it down in the description because
at the end of the day, guys, I want you to be successful.
I want you to become the man you know yourself to be.
So, guys, if you’re enjoying this, please share this video with a man that can use it.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate everything we built.
I will see you in the next video.
Little known fact, I drink an entire bottle of water with pretty much every video I film.
Hey, got to avoid that dry mouth, go to, you know, stay hydrated.
Keep talking takes a lot out of you.
Yes, it does, believe me.
It is work.
[Music] [0:12:04] End of Audio