By the end of this video, I'm going to tell you
the seven things that happen when you break up with a narcissist.
No, it's not pretty, but you do want to know what happens,
especially when you're getting ready for a litigation or court battle,
I know, I've seen it and
I'm going to tell you what happens and what you can expect.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney and also I’m a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I've helped millions of people
go from lies of drama, trauma, and chaos,
to step into lives of freedom, possibility, and purpose and
I want to help you do the same thing.
So, go ahead and subscribe and hit that notification bell,
so that you can be prepared, ready and free.
Okay, so here's what happens,
by the time you even realize what's going on,
most of the time, by the time you get there, it's pretty bad.
I mean, nobody just nicely walks away from a narcissist,
usually you're like running, running away,
like, with your hair on fire,
it's like you're escaping narcissistic relationships most of the time.
It's not like, “Oh, hey, it's not really working out,
like, “Let's just be friends and we'll just stay on great terms”,
I mean, you think you're going to be able to do that sometimes,
but let me just tell you, if that's what you think,
I'm just going to tell you right now,
if you actually are dealing with a narcissist,
it's probably not going to go that way,
because they just can't, they just can't,
I've seen it so many times,
as much as even they may want to try to do it that way,
it just doesn't usually go that way.
They don't want to see their source of
narcissistic supply go running out the door.
They want to hold on to as many sources of supply
as they possibly can and that's what you are,
you are a form of narcissistic supply and
sometimes they even have another form of supply, like already lined up,
but if they don't, they really don't want to see you walking out the door,
but what they're trying to do a lot of times is,
they've got the new one and they want the old one,
but, they don't want to see you walk out the door.
A lot of times, what they want to do is
to convert you into a different form of supply.
So, if you're not going to be the form of supply
that's giving them that adulation that they wanted,
or you're doing stuff for them,
or you're making them look good,
or whatever form they had before,
then they're going to convert you into a different form of supply
that they're going to get from you,
which is that they get supply out of jerking you around,
intimidating you, controlling you, scaring you,
because they get supply that way as well.
They get supply out of you,
it's just going to be converting you into a different form of supply.
So number one is that sudden begging and pleading,
the promise of change,
“You'll be lost without me”,
“You’ll never find somebody else like me”,
They try to guilt you, like, “You’re so horrible for abandoning me,
or abandoning the family”,
they try to lay this guilt trip on you,
so they will do whatever they can to try to get you to not leave.
That’s when they turn, they turn right away,
because with a narcissist,
you are either for them, or against them.
So, if you're not going to be for them,
then, you're going to become public enemy number one and
that's when they're going to go into full-on war,
they're going to start lining up there flying monkeys,
now they want to get you before you get them,
they're going to try to get the best lawyer,
they're going to turn everyone they know against you,
they're gonna want you to think they're going to take you down,
“You're going to pay”,
“You'll never find somebody else like me”,
“You're just the most horrible scum of the earth”,
“You're the worst thing in the world”,
Now, it's full on.
So, that's just the most horrible thing.
Now, it's file every single motion in the book,
now it's going to be withhold discovery,
they're going to try to make you spend as much money as possible,
they're going to say, “Oh, your lawyer is horrible”,
file every single possible motion they possibly can dream of,
lie about you in pleadings, manipulate pleadings if they need to,
manipulate evidence if they need to,
I mean, depending on the type of narcissist you're dealing with,
covert narcissists are less likely to do out now things
like ignore court orders,
as much as grandiose narcissists, or malignant narcissists,
they're going to be more likely to actually
just call somebody a child molester,
even if they're not, or some literally just ruin people’s lives.
But, covert narcissist will definitely lie about people,
or do things that are more passive aggressive
things like that.
But, all narcissist will definitely do things
to use the court system to their advantage,
or try to amuse children to their advantage.
They will definitely all do whatever they need to
to get that upper-hand.
If you want to know more about that,
you can definitely watch my video with Judge Lynn Toler,
all about how to beat narcissists in court.
New girlfriend, new boyfriend, new somebody,
who they think is going to make you jealous,
make you look bad,
somebody younger, better-looking, more money,
all that sort of thing,
they think is going to be somebody you think is going to be in some way,
make you jealous or something like that,
but then they do want to keep you around as well if they can.
They want to try to get the upper hand on you,
so they'll come around and say,
“Your lawyer is just out for money”,
“Your lawyer is bad”,
“Your lawyer is not gonna have time for you”,
“Why do we even need lawyers? We can just resolve this ourselves”.
Believe me, I've seen all of these things,
it does get harder before it gets easier, I do get this.
But let me tell you, you can definitely do this and
that's why I'm here, that's why I do these videos,
that's why I created my S.L.A.Y program and
I want you to say right now “I got this”,
because you do got this,
you definitely can do this, you definitely can slay.
So, don't let them do that like head trip on you and
then let you think, “Oh, I can never win”,
all that crazy stuff,
because you definitely can, don't believe their craziness.
So, just put “Slay” in the comments right now
because you definitely can.
This is when they're going to start to come back and go,
“Oh, let's try to work this out”,
this is when they're going to try to do something to make it like,
go crazy on you, or do some other kind of manipulation,
because they don't want to see you get any kind of upper hand.
We were always so good together, that sort of thing,
because their next form of supply dump them already,
or something like that, they can't be alone.
I've seen that happen a million times too, by the way,
I mean, here's the thing, even if they say they've changed,
they will not change.
That's another thing that I've seen before by the way,
is that people think I got them like to change and
now they're going to be so much better for the next person,
the next person is going to get the better version of them,
they're not going to be better,
they don't change, don't worry.
They are who they are, narcissists are who they are,
so you can find somebody who's better than that narcissist,
Don't worry.
You just need to worry about yourself and
getting out of this relationship in a way that's fair.
You've got to create leverage and
you got to have a strategy and
the way you're going to do that,
isn't going to be saying, “Well, let me just try to like be fair and
I don't want to fight and
I don't want to be too aggressive” and all that,
that ain't gonna cut it,
because as soon as those words are out of your mouth,
you're basically saying,
“Hey narcissist, I'm over here, go ahead and jerk me around”,
you can't decide when you're all the way down the path and
you've already spent thousands and thousands of dollars and
years and years have gone by and
you didn't really know what the heck you were doing and
your lawyer doesn't know what they're doing,
because narcissists get supply out of jerking everybody around,
including the system, the judge, the lawyers, and everybody,
because most people don't know what's going on.
So, that's why I encourage you
to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet to get started
at winmynegotiation.com and
make sure you subscribe to this channel right now,
subscribe, hit that notification bell,
join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
Never give in, never give up, because you can do this.
Today is a great day to start negotiating your best life,
I’ve got your back, we’ve got your back,
everybody on my team, on my S.L.A.Y squad,
we got your back, so you can do this.
I will definitely see you in the next video.