(Alice and Veronica) I'm doing...
Amazing.
Being able to show people how to live positively
Through my own reality television show has been extremely fulfilling.
You know, I think that's it. I'm doing.
Being.
Is it possible to win therapy?
I have been practising my power stances.
92 Days sober.
No shoplifting, no binge eating, not even watching porn.
It's been a challenge, you know, trying to... assert myself-
-while we're shooting a show that basically entirely revolves around, you know, my girlfriend-
-EX... girlfriend.
Oh my god. I forgot to tell you- like excercise? My moods are like, "whoah."
Stable AF.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh ya.
BURN.
Incredible.
Also, have you ever had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep? It's like...
Why did no one tell me about this?
(Therapists) And how are things with Alice? -And how are things with Veronica?
(Both) Proffessional.
(Heavy breathing and laughing)
(Theme music)
-We can't keep doing this.
-I know.
-But the danger of getting caught is making this unreasonably hot.
-You need some help with that?
-I have to go.
-Just spend the night here, no one will notice.
-Everyone will notice. Lulu's been giving me suspicious looks.
And Richard would be devastated if we ruin his show by getting back together-
Also I think my therapist would be genuinely disappointed.
Ugh. How much longer until this stupid show is over?
As soon as the tour's over, so three more weeks.
Too long.
But then you're all mine.
In public... in private...
But mostly in private...
No!
I'm leaving. I'm leaving!
Gotta throw Lulu off the scent.
Get out of here before I ruin you.
(phone dings)
(phone dings again)
(phone dings a third time)
(knock at the door)
Yo yo it's your boi Rich, cooking up some hot, lonely, Tuesday night spice-
Ok act natural- k ACTION.
So Alice, Montreal, city of love, what's the hot goss on the second leg of the tour?
Uh, Richard, welcome, to my hotel room on a Tuesday. Been a wild night over here. Clipped my toenails. Ordered some room service.
Oh ho, champagne? Oh no, hard liquor? Drowning your sorrows since the breakup?
Nooo, toast and beans though, pretty great stuff.
I actually saw Veronica down at the hotel bar. With some hot blonde speaking some kind of French if you know what I mean.
How's that make you feel?
That's great Richard. Listen, I was just about to start some more work on my whittling if you want to-
-Cut. -Do another segment? -What? No.
No, there is no absolute way I'm going to film you for two more hours doing your little wood whittling thing.
Ok, well that's what I'm doing tonight. Contract never said I had to be interesting.
Ok, listen sweetheart- um, sorry, I'm woke now, I'm woke. So, listen woman that I respect. I am privileged.
And I am also getting paid the big boy bucks to produce some hype-reality-broken-up-bandmate-FIRE, to promote your tour, and your record.
I am moving on to animal sculptures next week... if you wanna get that on the books?
You see that? That's me sniffing out the drama.
What about my, you know, audiobook? I'm on chapter seven.
Oh ya? Chapter 7? Is it fun? Is it good? You like it, is it good? Are you on chapter 8?
I'd like to leave now. As a team. As friends.
Bye guys.
(listening to wood whittling podcast)
Oh joy.
(Les Bebes track "Unchaste" plays)
Great show last night Veronica. You and Alice are really on fire these days. Those harmonies must be really hard for you.
Thanks. I guess all the tension from being broken up is really getting all our creative... juices flowing.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a very important dinner... for one.
Sobriety looks good on you V. Egg salad is so on trend.
Making jokes at the expense of someone in recovery, super classy Lulu.
No such thing as a sober it girl.
Do you think I could get a gummy bear fuzzy naval instead?
Wow. Yea. You know the squad goals are really off the T-Swift charts here Lulu.
They're artists. Well, we're going to go hang out with Jesse Reyez now. I'd invite you but Alice is coming and I wouldn't want to make things awkward.
Thanks for looking out for me Lu. Love the nose ring by the way. Very edgy.
You have no idea, Veronica Vale.
You know what? I think that this egg salad sandwich is gonna taste a whole lot fresher in my hotel room.
Have fun.
Girl. You have got to give it up. You look mad thirsty.
Just... give her five more minutes, she'll come.
In the wilderness, wolves mark their mates by urinating in the same spot as their chosen companion.
Well there you go Lu, just take a dump in Alice's bathroom and Veronica will know what's up.
It's not the same.
Band selfie!
OMG, we never take candid pics. I'll tag you both.
Speaking of which, Lulu, you still don't follow me on instagram.
Hey. Um, could I... talk to you alone for a second?
I only invited by bebes because I didn't want you to feel like this is a date.
Unless you are ready for that? If that's what you want?
No. No, no, no, not that. Not a date.
Um, I have been practising being more honest with people face to face so...
Can we have a minute?
Maintain eye contact. You will be able to smell if she is ready to mate.
Ok just breath. Um I have been avoiding this conversation...
I have been feeling like... maybe it seems like you want something more from us.
Which is confusing for me. Because well... because you know why. Regardless-
We have a few more weeks of this tour, and I'd really like to keep things professional.
You know Veronica's been sober for a few months and I wouldn't want to do anything that would jeopordize that progress.
So you don't want to hang out with me because of your ex girlfriend?
Well I have been working on my own progress... um...
What's wrong?
Ugh it's my nose ring. I think it might be infected.
You know you gotta wear a stud for at least three months before you go whole hog with the ring.
Is that some ancient Chinese proverb for nose rings?
Here lemme, let me take a look, I'm kind of a professional.
Juicy, oh ya that's juicy.
Clarence! Get the camera. Your boy's got a SICK idea.
(toilet flushes)
(whispers) Sorry.