Have a seat.
I feel the same way about you.
It is Earth Day today.
And I want to do something to celebrate.
So we can either play a game, or everyone in the audience
can go home with a bucket of earthworms.
[APPLAUSE]
OK.
Earthworms.
It's earthworms.
Come on, bring the earthworms out.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, earthworms.
[APPLAUSE]
No, it seems like I read it wrong.
I think they want to play the game.
I'm so sorry.
I read that totally wrong.
We'll play a game.
It's a special Earth Day edition of "Survey Says Whaaat?"
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Survey says what?
[APPLAUSE]
All right.
So tWitch and I have played this game before.
And we've surveyed the audience ahead of time.
We asked them questions.
And tWitch is going to guess how many people
have done that thing.
And then I'm going to guess lower or higher.
And then we'll switch off.
OK.
So tWitch, how many people here--
because this is Earth Day.
So the whole thing has to do with being natural and earthy.
So how many people here have done it outside?
Wow.
Uh-- I'd say--
Ellen, I would say, tw-- ooh.
20 people here have done it outside.
20?
20.
I'm going to-- well, one lady for sure has done it because--
you've done it several times obviously
because you're like, that's all I do is outside, lady.
All right.
So just because of her, I'm going to say higher.
I think it's more than 20 people.
You say higher?
Let's see what it is.
[PINGING]
Oh, my god.
[LAUGHING]
[APPLAUSE]
Wow.
All right.
Wow.
[LAUGHING] OK.
Show of hands, how many people have done it outside?
All right.
Well, I know you have, lady.
This man in the blue shirt with a mustache.
No.
On that row, Andy.
Yes, you.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi.
What's your name?
Ken.
All right, Ken.
So Ken, how many times have you done it outside?
I'm too old to count that.
I see.
All right.
And I was much younger.
You were much younger.
It's been a little while?
Mm, a little while.
Yeah.
A year?
Maybe less.
[LAUGHS] Wow.
[APPLAUSE]
All right, Ken.
Thank you, Ken.
Have a seat.
Get 'em, Ken.
All right.
tWitch, how many people here have been so drunk
that they slept outside?
Ha, well, I'm gonna say--
you know what, Ellen, I've been aiming a little low.
I'm going to go high with this one.
I'm gonna say 195 people.
I mean, we know that Ken has slept outside for sure.
Right, right.
He may not remember it, but he did.
I am going to say for sure lower than 195--
OK.
--that got that drunk.
All right.
[PINGING]
You might be right.
OK.
Yeah, yeah.
I was a hundred off.
That's not-- yeah.
Raise your hand if you got that drunk that you slept outside?
Look at how proud you all are.
Yeah.
Right next to you, Joel.
Look at her.
Oh.
Hi.
So how long ago was this?
A few years ago.
Few years ago?
Yeah.
What were you drinking?
I don't remember.
You don't remember the alcohol you were drinking?
No.
Wow.
Yeah.
And it was just a few years ago?
Yeah.
And where did you sleep?
Where did you wake up?
The sidewalk.
Like, outside your house or near someone you know?
The bar.
Whoa.
So you made it outside the bar.
Yeah.
Night, night.
I was kicked out of the bar.
Oh, you were kicked out.
Yeah.
Of course you were.
Of course you were kicked out.
And then you just hunkered down.
You said, I'm going to--
Yeah, because my friends didn't want to go out with me.
Uh-huh.
So I went alone.
And then I kind of just fell asleep.
And did you wake up in the middle of the night
or the next morning?
No, my friends woke me up when they were leaving.
Oh, well, that's nice of them.
They didn't leave you there.
They let you sleep, and then they woke you up
when they were leaving.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
That's great.
Has that only happened once?
(HESITANTLY) Yes.
All right.
And they're liars.
We're learning that about them.
Let's add that to the list, tWitch.
All right.
Thank you.
All right.
OK.
I've got one for you, Ellen.
Ellen, how many people have been locked outside
naked or in their underwear?
Mm, well I bet that happens a lot if you're going out
to get the mail or the cat.
Locked outside?
Locked outside naked or in their underwear.
Of their house?
So it could be, like, in the hallway or something like that?
Mhm.
I am going to say 58.
58?
58 people.
I'm gonna say lower.
Lower?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's see.
[PINGING]
Oh, you were right.
Not that many people.
Yeah.
Mm-mm.
Who was locked outside naked?
Oof.
[LAUGHS] Hi.
Stand up.
Yeah, stand up again.
[APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHS] Oh, what's your name?
Amaline.
Amaline?
Yeah.
OK.
So tell us about this story.
It's just, I was in college in the dorms.
And I went to take a shower.
And I thought I brought my key, but I didn't.
Uh-huh.
And I called anyone that I knew.
And everyone was in class.
So I had to--
Right.
--go down in my towel to the lobby to ask for a spare key.
Right.
And there was, like, a really big group of sorority girls
downstairs pledging.
And just, like, every single time
I went near that sorority group, I
would just walk the other way.
Sure.
Yeah.
I can see why you started drinking.
That's traumatizing.
That's horrible.
All right.
Well, Amaline, thank you so much for sharing all
of your information with us.