You most likely know Mark Harmon from "NCIS" — but did you know his marriage to actress
Pam Dawber is possibly one of the longest in Hollywood?
Keep watching to find out the secret to their lasting love.
Dawber once admitted to not having had the best luck in love before meeting her forever
man.
In 1987, she told People magazine she had had, quote, "a bad love affair here and there,"
and had also struggled with her confidence — something she worked on in therapy.
The actress had drawn up a long list of qualities she would want in a partner, and when asked
if she had found them in Harmon, she answered,
"Well, I guess so.
He's fabulous."
As for Harmon himself, he made a promise to himself before meeting his future wife that
he seems to have very much kept to.
In his Sexiest Man Alive interview in 1986, he told People mag,
"When I marry, I want it to be everything this town says it can't be.
I'm not into catting around."
"I had to kiss a lot of frogs to get there."
Harmon and Dawber met through a friend, and the timing was perfect.
Harmon told the publication,
"We were both in our thirties when we got married, so hopefully the stupid stuff we
did earlier.
That's probably the closest I have to what the key [to their successful marriage] is."
"You hope to be smart enough to choose right."
Harmon and Dawber may have been seasoned celebrities by the time they tied the knot, but that doesn't
mean they wanted all the spectacle they could have had.
In 1987, Dawber told People that their wedding would be "quiet and personal."
She had previously been spooked by Julianne and Bruce Springsteen's wedding, which was
gatecrashed by a bunch of helicopters.
She explained,
"Granted, we're not talking Springsteen here, but if we choose a big church, everyone will
find out about it.
All of a sudden we'll have Entertainment Tonight out there with microphones."
The two actors said their vows exactly as they had planned, on March 21st, 1987.
AP News reported at the time that the small and intimate wedding took place in Harmon's
old school in the San Fernando Valley, and that the newlyweds flew off to Vancouver for
their honeymoon.
During an interview with People in 2019, Harmon wore a band with an eagle head on it on his
ring finger.
He explained,
"I wear it or a few others I have because when I'm not shooting, I like to make sure
I have something on my ring finger, because I'm proud to be married, and I'm proud of
who I'm married to."
When Dawber met Harmon and they ended up having kids together, she knew she would have to
prioritize different areas of her life.
In 2016, she told Entertainment Tonight,
"I did everything you can do in this business, and then I had children and it's like, 'I'm
not going to chase this fame thing.'
I wanted to drive my kids to school.
I wanted to be there for their birthdays and bring cupcakes and donuts and do the school
festivals and all that, and I did."
But choosing to step back from the limelight wasn't just about having enough time to spend
with her kids — Dawber was also worried about her career taking precedence over her
marriage.
She went on to say,
"I don't think two people can work all the time in show business and stay married."
Harmon is grateful for the work his wife does at home, because he knows it enabled him to
act on "NCIS" for so long.
In 2010, he told USA Today,
"It's the arc of this show over a number of years, where it started and where it is now.
She's been part of all that.
She's been running the home.
It's a time-consuming occupation, and she's done a really good job."
Harmon and Dawber have two sons together.
Although Sean Harmon has an honorable number of acting credits to his name, they're not
household names.
This was purposeful — their parents didn't want their two sons to be the object of scrutiny.
Dawber told Entertainment Tonight,
"Notice you don't see us in the magazines.
When you're married, that's real life.
And to go and plaster your kids.
[...] I'm sorry.
I'm not for that."
Dawber isn't particularly interested in sharing her previous work with her two sons, who as
of 2016 had never watched her act; she would rather they share their work with her.
She explained,
"I'm just their mom.
They don't care about what I did.
They care about what they are doing.
They want their parents to care about what they are doing."
As for how fame affected Harmon's parenting, he shared a heartbreaking story with TV Insider
in 2017, saying,
"I was in the jungles of New Guinea making a not-very-good movie when my firstborn child
took his first steps.
No job is worth missing life's important moments."
"If I gain strength from anyone or anything, it's my family."
Harmon's sister, Kristin Nelson, was once married to singer Ricky Nelson.
Together, they had four children, according to the New York Daily News.
Kristin and Ricky divorced in 1982, and Ricky passed away in a plane crash in 1985 at 45
years old.
In 1987, Harmon and Dawber sought custody of their nephew Sam, then 12 years old and
the only minor among his siblings, because they felt that his mother wasn't fit to take
care of him.
Harmon had previously convinced his sister to check into rehab to treat her drug dependency,
which she did.
During that time, Sam was in his and Dawber's care, after which they sought permanent custody.
According to AP News, while speaking about finding out this news, Kristen said,
"​​I was feeling very proud and happy because I had just very successfully completed
a program to help myself.
Suddenly, I had two hours to find a lawyer who would help me keep my son.
At first, I thought it was a joke, and I wondered, 'Where's the punchline?'"
Soon afterward, though, Harmon gave up on the bid for custody.
Dawber has taken long breaks in her acting career to concentrate on taking care of her
husband and sons — she didn't act at all between 2000 and 2014, for example.
After that long dry spell and a few sporadic appearances on television, she joined her
husband on the set of his hit show "NCIS.”
Dawber was initially cast for four episodes, but she ended up appearing on no fewer than
seven episodes of the show in 2021.
Speaking to Entertainment Weekly about why it took her so long to make her debut on "NCIS,"
Dawber explained in her characteristic no-beating-around-the-bush manner,
"The show has been on for a hundred years, and they have come at me a few times.
Either I just didn't want to do it or I didn't appreciate what it was they wanted me to do.
Or it was near Christmas and it was like, 'I can't do this.
I've got my parents coming into town.'"
Harmon has a reported net worth of a jaw-dropping $100 million, which is an unapologetic 10
times more than Dawber's still very impressive $10 million.
As for how Harmon came to amass such an amount of money, he apparently gets paid $525,000
per episode of "NCIS."
"I've spent many years before this apologizing for the shows I'm doing, so now you go out
there and people like the show."
Even if he didn't make that much for every one of his 400 plus episodes, that's still
a whole lot of dough.
In addition to his job on "NCIS," Harmon has appeared in a number of other films and TV
shows over the years — adding even more to his bank account.
Dawber's four-year run as title character Mindy McConnell on the TV show "Mork & Mindy"
remains her most iconic role to date, but, like her husband, she has appeared in a slew
of other TV and movie projects.
She has also tried her hand at modeling, singing, and business, among other ventures — which,
together, have added up to a handsome sum.
[laughing]
"I feel like a pretty big cheese."
With several decades of acting under their belts and a hit show on television since 2003,
these spouses are certainly not not famous.
With that in mind, they have pretty amazingly managed to stay out of the spotlight all these
years.
They don't necessarily do it on purpose, according to Harmon — it's kind of just their nature.
The actor told TV Insider in 2017,
"It's not even a choice.
It's who we are.
We stay home.
A lot.
I'm not a Twitter guy or a Facebook guy.
Our sons aren't into that either.
Pam and I have both made a living in this business, and still, there's a part of that
that's just not natural."
Although Harmon feels like keeping up their privacy as a family comes naturally, his wife
may be inclined to disagree — she told Entertainment Tonight that it was very clearly a choice
she made for her family.
There's not just one secret to a great and lasting marriage.
Sometimes, though, a pairing just makes sense — and that seems to be what Harmon and Dawber
have found in each other.
A friend of theirs revealed to Closer,
"They are a truly solid, no-drama couple.
They are best friends who respect and are truly devoted to each other."
That doesn't mean that the lovebirds are carbon copies of each other, however, but their differences
are part of what makes them work.
The source went on to say,
"Pam is more outgoing than Mark, who's [more shy].
But they are both similar in their priorities.
They don't argue a lot, they love their quiet and value hard work and honesty.
They are truly decent people."
Speaking to People mag about taking a role in the 1987 movie "Summer School," Harmon
seemed to reinforce the idea that where he diverges from his wife is actually what ends
up bringing them closer.
He told the publication,
"I wanted to do it just because I was excited to work with [director] Carl Reiner.
But Pam said, 'Don't do that.
Don't do this movie.'
We don't generally like the same thing, and that's been healthy for us, actually."
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