- We aren't sure why some people are getting a mustache
and some aren't,
but we have to do all we can to avoid it
becoming fashionable.
- [Jordan] (chuckles)
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A sudden outbreak of mustaches, botched nose jobs,
and of course, oh my God, they killed Kenny.
Today we are back at it,
reacting to South Park, number nine.
So let's dive right in.
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- And you say you've never had a mustache before?
- So at least the doctor is using the appropriate tool
with a cover on the otoscope
trying to look closely with a flashlight.
Obviously in this situation,
you could use like a pen light.
It's not really that much magnified.
- Holy (bleep)
- Oh my (chuckles) gosh.
The outbreak of mustaches.
Sometimes people will take pills
for hair growth and they're getting unwanted hair growth
in other areas of their body.
And then all of a sudden you get like a massive amount
of chest hair or back hair or butt hair.
- Another strain of COVID
or simply more COVID related symptoms?
A reported one in 10
people in Park County are experiencing mustaches.
And nobody seems to know why.
The mayor has called for help
from infectious disease experts
and Dr. Anthony Fauci arrived
at South Park Hospital today to give his advice.
in severe respiratory distress
requiring high flow oxygen, steroids,
and a lot of help and support.
- We aren't sure why some people are getting a mustache
and some aren't, but we have to do all we can to avoid it
becoming fashionable.
- (laughs)
There are sometimes weird symptoms, weird side effects.
Yes, they're taking this to the extreme,
but things similarly can happen
with different types of symptoms.
- Will our chin diapers keep us safe?
- Yes, but we must wear them where the mustache would be.
- (laughs)
The whole time during this pandemic
I had to take care of patients that would wear the mask
under the chin, on their foreheads.
We should kind of try to minimize spreading germs.
And there are studies
that it does reduce the spread of germs.
That's why we wear 'em
in the operating room to protect the patient.
(phone ringing)
- Hello dude, did you get your period yet?
- No, there's no blood coming outta my (bleep).
- Mine either.
But I double checked, and Carmen was right,
your period is the start of puberty.
- (laughs)
Oh my gosh. These kids.
You're not gonna have a period if you don't have a uterus.
The uterus has a lining that sheds every month
due to hormonal changes
relating to ovulation and reproductive years.
And this typically begins during puberty.
Early teens.
Sometimes it can be 12.
If you're bleeding out of your rectum,
out of your butt hole,
you need to see a doctor.
What happened?
- Woohoo. Woohoo.
- Oh my gosh.
If you have blood in your stool,
gotta get checked out by your doctor.
- Well, welcome to the club, Kenny.
You got your period
so now you're a man.
(Kenny groans)
- God damn it, Kenny.
Shut the hell up.
(Kenny groans)
- Ohhh!
If the blood coming outta your butt
or your poop starts looking like what we call melana
or dark maroon or even black,
then it could be coming from higher
up like closer to your stomach.
Then that's called an upper GI bleed.
They actually might vomit blood
and that's super concerning, right?
Cuz you're having an active bleeding,
it's bright red,
there's no time for the blood
to get digested by your digestive system
and then it could be meaning that there's a brisk bleed
due to like an ulcer, perforation,
very scary things.
(sad music)
Oh my gosh.
- Mr. and Mrs McCormick.
- [Both] Yes?
- I'm sorry, we couldn't save your son.
- If I ever come out and talk to a patient's family,
I'm not coming out in bloody clothes.
Like totally inappropriate.
Change your clothes, put a coat on, cover it up.
They don't need to see that.
- What killed him doctor?
- Well, we found a tampon stuck up your child's (bleep).
Apparently he'd had it up there for several days.
It plugged him up until he finally burst
from the inside out like a ruptured septic tank.
- Oh my God.
- My worry is that he could have been following
some kind of crazy new fad.
Perhaps the children are all
shoving tampons up their (bleep)
because they've seen the Backstreet Boys doing it on TV.
- What? Okay.
Don't put tampons in there.
Forget about it.
That's why the templates have strings
so you can actually pull them out
and they shouldn't be in there for more than 24 hours.
- I think maybe Timmy is suffering
from something called attention deficit disorder or ADD.
- ADD, ADHD.
The names keep changing,
but it has to do with diagnosing somebody at a young age
relating to their ability to pay attention.
- All right, this is a very simple test
which should determine without a doubt,
whether or not Timmy has attention deficit disorder.
Now, Timmy, I'm gonna read you a book
called the Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald
- To get a diagnosis of it,
it has to be over time.
Typically it's done
around the age of six or seven years of age.
There's a bunch of different types of medications that you
can give somebody at this age to help focus them.
- In my younger and more vulnerable years,
my father gave me some advice
that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.
- Everybody's not gonna pay attention.
Oh my gosh,
I would be pulling out my hair if it took this long.
- Okay now Timmy, can you tell me, in chapter seven,
what kind of car did Gatsby drive?
- Timmy!
- Well that settles it.
- [Both] Huh?
- This young man definitely has attention deficit disorder.
- Oh, oh, I knew it.
- Why can we do for him doctor?
- Well, ADD is fairly common in kids today.
I'm gonna prescribe some Ritalin
and we'll see how that goes for little Timmy.
- Ritalin is one type of medication
that you might use to help with this type of disorder,
as well as say Adderall.
I think Timmy needs a little bit more further evaluation
on a much deeper level and maybe a different doctor.
- I have to admit I'm still embarrassed
about getting a nose job, Tom.
I didn't want people at school to know,
so I told them I had herpes.
- What?
Now you have herpes one and you have herpes two.
One is genital herpes, basically, herpes two,
versus one, which is just oral.
- Now we could go with something a little smaller
which would make you look like this.
- [Mr. Garrison] Hmm.
- Whoa. (laughs)
David Hasselhoff.
- Wow, that's it.
That's the nose I want!
- Alrighty then.
Now I must warn you Mr. Garrison, that there are risks.
You could wind up a hideous, foul shadow of a creature.
- Okay.
- I can live with that.
(Jordan laughs)
- Alrighty than let's get started.
- Make sure that the doctors that you're going to
are board certified.
You know, basically they have their residency.
- We did some major reconstruction,
sawed through some bone,
snapped some cartilage.
(Mr. Garrison groans)
- Yep, there you go.
- All the blood and mucus,
just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart.
(Mr. Garrison groans)
By the way, did you ever see that movie Contact?
(Mr. Garrison retches)
- Oh he's puking.
Why's he puking purple?
Could be a mix of whatever's in his stomach.
If you're also vomiting just after having the surgery
you increase the risk
of more bleeding cuz it increases pressure.
- How's he doing?
- Well, he isn't worse, but he isn't getting better.
It's almost as if his cancer were tied.
- Oh boy.
- (coughs)
Oh, my cancer hurts.
- He seems to have put all his hope into you
winning that game.
- Cancer is an abnormal cell that's gone rogue
that continues to multiply and divide.
So if it's not getting worse
then it's not multiplying and dividing.
Which to me, that means it's actually doing better.
- Our hockey team has just been invited
to play against Denver County
during a Colorado Avalanche game.
- Wow. At the Pepsi Center?
- Look, he's coming around again.
- That's our biggest game ever.
Do you think we can win coach?
(inspirational music)
- Imagine if there was one game,
one chance to make everything right.
- Obviously when somebody's sick
and you can give them positive information
and get their spirits up,
the body responds in a positive way.
So yes, hopefully this happens for this kid.
- Just be aware of this coach,
if you lose the big game
that little boy is gonna die faster
than Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays.
- What?
that's messed up.
Sometimes things happen when it comes to cancer
your body's fighting, fighting, fighting,
and then the cancer burden just gets so overwhelming
or causes you to be in a hypercoagulable state
which then can increase your risk of blood clots
and it can have a massive pulmonary embolism
that can take you right away.
South Park is not only talking
about like COVID making jokes about it
but then it's trying to bring light of
different attitudes that we have within medicine.
It's good.
If you enjoyed this,
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Thank you so much for watching,
and stay healthy my friends.
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