One of our viewers has asked "How do you help a child with executive functioning
problems?" Let's get into that. I think first off as we get into executive
functioning problems which we both have some experience. -Right. -It's important to
acknowledge that this is not a diagnosis. And sometimes it's treated that way. When
you do a search online for example, my child has executive functioning disorder
or whatever. It's not an official diagnosis. This is really a description
of a certain constellation of challenges or problems that a child has. And there's
3 main areas that it covers. -The first one might be considered the
working memory. How do they remember what tasks they have to do. Can they take
what's brought in and stay focused on it long enough to do a task. -If you think
about a company, for example, the executive suite, okay? You've done the
chief executive officer and the chief operating officer. The executives in a
company are up at the top of the company. And they control and manage everything
that's happening down below it. So, executive functioning can be compared to
that. How does this child organize their world? And how do they stay on top of
things? So, when you mentioned the memory, the working memory is part of that
executive functioning. We have a little neighbor boy who was watching, I think it
was Finding Nemo or something and how Dory that... -Has the short-term memory loss.
-Short-term memory loss. And he's how old? -He just turned 5. -Just turned 5. And
now he's picked that up. He's like, "Oh, I must have short-term memory loss." -Like
his mom said, "Why? You know, you were supposed to pick up your boots" or
whatever. "Oh, I am having a short-term memory loss." -But that's a good example of
what we mean by the working memory. They just totally spaced things off. Another
area that is implied with executive functioning is cognitive flexibility or
as the case may be inflexibility. Where they get so rigid...
-This is a super common trait or the way they show up for children who are on the
autistic spectrum. -Yes. -Very, very common. Just things are very rigid. I need it to
be this way, this way or this way. Or I'm not going to even function well. To be
highly functioning executively implies that you have cognitive flexibility. You
can kind of go with the flow, change as the circumstances change. -And then
there's one other area of executive functioning that ties into one of the
ones we've already talked about. But it has to do with inhibitory control.
We all have impulses. -Yeah. -Right? And Vicki's better at controlling her impulses than I am at controlling
mine. But children have cognitive functioning problems tend to have a really difficult
time just inhibiting those impulses. This just brings to mind. I am a very tactile
person. I love to touch things. If I see something of a different texture, I
really want to touch it. And I noticed this even at school that sometimes, I
just have to... I just am aware of it that I really want to reach out and touch
what that shirt feels like or so it like that. But I inhibit it. Whereas the little
first graders... I have this first-grade teacher that I absolutely adore. And she
has this velour one-piece suit. And I think I don't know how you wear that in
a roomful of first graders. I think they're... They've got to be petting it all day
because they don't always have that inhibitory control yet. -Which is a good
point, Vicki. Because sometimes this executive functioning that we're talking about, we
expect a first grader for example they have a higher level of executive
functioning than they are developmentally capable of. -Yeah.
And so, adjusting our expectations appropriately is one way we can help
kids with their executive functioning problems. Well, let's get into a couple of
strategies that we can use to assist children who may even be in normal
development but we've also talked about kids with ADHD for example, where
executive functioning problems are very common. The kids who might be on the
autism spectrum, younger children. -I was going to say even just typical development.
-Yes. -I said the functioning is something that is constantly being
developed. -And interestingly sometimes that's what people lose in later life or
if they have a degenerative problem. We've both got people in our family who
have had Alzheimer's. -Right. -And executive functioning is one of the first things
to go. -Yep. Yeah. -Obviously the working memory but inhibitory control. -Definitely.
-Those impulses, they just can't control those anymore. So, you can see that this
is a description of problems that could come up in a variety of circumstances.
Let's talk for a minute about some of the strategic things we can do.
Vicki, you've done some things with kids especially in a school setting to help
them with organizational skills. Can you talk about that for just minute? -When
setting up organizational skills for children, a lot of times you want to make
sure that they have a place and a situation for everything, right? And so, a
very specific place to organize where their schoolwork is. Maybe where they
bring their backpack when they come home. As a personnel in the school, I know the
children that you can send a note at home with and some that you cannot.
Because their organizational skills are not there. And so as you try as
a parent, you want to set up different times. Maybe you have very specific boxes
or things where their toys can go. And maybe you have a kid can separate. Maybe
you don't have one that can separate so it all goes in one box. But you're going to
give them different organizational skills. And try to teach them how to
manage their skills according to their own personal traits. -Yes. And this could
be as simple as an organizational system for their backpack, for example. We're
talking about a school kind of application. But this could be in a home
too. Where everything has a place, everything has a home. I remember you
used to teach our kids this way. "Everything has a home. where is this
things' home?" -My my biggest what the kids are probably
remember is "Gum has 2 places. Your mouth or the garbage can. Which one is it
going to be?" Don't be touching it. That that was a big one for me because I
found gum in the carpet too many times. But we want to help our kids organize.
And this can mean also lists in a lot of different manners. One of the
ways we would do organization a lot of the times is in our chores or our
activities what was expected for the day. So, we've used things like popsicle
sticks that you move from to be done to all done.
You know, things might be cleaning my bedroom and brush my teeth, doing the
dishes, whatever. So, you can use organizational tactics that way or you
could make an actual list. At school, you're going to... With even within a math
problem, you're going to first do the addition or first do the multiplication.
I got to go back to my maths facts, right? So, you're going to list it out for kids.
Especially kids with executive functioning problems. A lot of the times,
they just don't know where to start. And so making lists is really important. And
then teaching them the skill to go back to the list. So, when they come to you and
say, "I don't know what to do next." So, let's grab your list. You did this, you
did this. So, what would be next? And you're helping them discover what's next.
This is so key. It's great to do in the elementary school year ages. Teachers are
still really willing and available to help children. As you teach them to go to
the steps, you're teaching them that ability to then go off at the secondary
level and do it themselves. When the teachers not so likely to come over and
point out the next step. -Obviously, also you're going to adapt this to the
development and maturity of the child. So, the list might be simply visual pictures.
-Yep. -The steps for brushing the teeth for example might be posted on the bathroom
mirror where it shows someone pulling out the toothbrush and then putting
toothpaste on the correct amount. And then brushing the teeth for a certain
amount of time. And then it can graduate to more written lists. I remember Vicki
did this with our kids in terms of chores around the house. And so, each room
had a little list right by the light switch about what was required for that
room to be clean to her satisfaction. And as long as they had done everything on
the list, they knew that they had accomplished that particular chore. So,
adjust and adapt according to age and maturity. Another thing that we can do to
help kids with executive functioning problems is simply
behavioural training. Now, we won't go into a lot of detail in this particular
video because we've handled that in some other videos. You might check in with one
call the teaching children and responsibilities where we go through
4 steps. And those 4 steps can be used in this context as well. We've also
got a video about working with kids with special needs. And there are some
specific applications there that might be helpful too.
The idea here is simply training these kids to do things in a way that you
prefer. And it has to be done in a way that makes sense to them. When you ask
yourself "Why should my kid do this?" You've got all kinds of answers. They
don't have so many. So, when I say behavioral training, I'm talking about
connecting with those kids at their current level and stage of development
in a way that's going to make sense for them. And there's a lot of tools there.
We've also got tools in our Parenting Power-Up program and then the parent
coaching that we're providing. This is where we get down to the nuts and bolts
of how to actually implement some of the things that you've been learning here on
the channel. There's lots of challenges as a parent. But there's lots of
resources too. And I hope that you're connecting with some of the ones we've
created for you. A great place to start is with positivity. And you can get a
free copy of my book Pathological Positivity by going to DrPaulJenkins.
com. There's a link in the description. You can get a free copy of that book.
There's always a lot of resources and tools and we're honored to be on your team.