Kids -- love 'em or hate 'em,
you can't deny the fact that they're young.
Recently...
[ Laughter ]
Recently I had a chance to talk to some kids
for a new original television segment that I call
"Children Say Things You Don't Expect Them to Say Sometimes."
♪♪
Do you know any jokes?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who? [Achoo]
Bless you.
Ahh!
I'ma give you a half quote,
Okay.
You better check yourself before you...
Go on a date.
[ Laughs ]
What's your favorite Taylor Swift song?
Um...
"The Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars."
That must be an album cut.
Have you seen my stand-up comedy before?
No. You look familiar, though.
Yeah?
I think you kind of look like a Tyler Perry.
What's your favorite TV show?
"Zig & Sharko." It's on Netflix.
On Netflix?
Do your parents put the Netflix kids' filter on yours
so you can't watch 9/11 documentaries?
-Knock, knock. -Who's there?
-Ach. -Ach who?
[ Chuckles ]
Okay....
Who's your favorite basketball player?
Mike Dunleavy?
-I don't know. -Mike Dunleavy?
-Yeah. -Yeah?
Can you look in the camera and say,
"Mike Dunleavy is better than Michael Jordan"?
Mike Dunleavy is better than Jordan.
You heard it here first.
You better check yourself before you...
Riggity wreck yourself.
Okay.
Wait, why do you know that?
The only thing to fear is...
Um, when, um...
people try to take you away.
That's a pretty -- That's a pretty solid fear.
I think your quote might be more impactful
than the originator's.
Can I try a joke?
-Okay. -Cool.
So, I go back home to Chicago, and my dad says,
"Hey, you ever hear of this show 'The Wire'?"
And I'm like, "My dad just found out about 'The Wire.'"
He's like, "Yeah, season two of 'The Wire'."
Who am I to judge my dad
for just now finding out about the "The Wire"
when I found out about Jimi Hendrix
because Hulk Hogan was using him as his intro music?
Hulk Hogan would walk out like
[Mimics guitar] playing "Voodoo Child,"
and I'm like, "Wow, this Jimi Hendrix guy
has got a huge future for himself.
It's so cool of Hulk Hogan to give him some exposure."
If you could be any age, what age would you be?
The age I am now.
How old do you think I am?
42?
Perfect.
She got it right? On the dot?
No, not right at all.
But it's better than being called Tyler Perry.
I guess black does crack.
I don't get it.