- LET'S TALK ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS.
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE STARTED YOUR SHOPPING?
ANYBODY? YEAH? [cheers and applause]
IT'S STRESSFUL, ISN'T IT?
IT'S VERY STRESSFUL.
I THOUGHT OF A BRILLIANT WAY TO GET MY SHOPPING DONE.
I WENT TO TARGET,
BECAUSE THEY HAVE EVERYTHING THAT I NEEDED, AND--
HERE'S HOW I'M DOING MY SHOPPING FROM NOW ON.
[singing] - SHE CAME TO GIVE IT TO YOU
- GIRL, IT AIN'T WHAT YOU DO
[feedback squeals]
- ATTENTION. ATTENTION.
TARGET SHOPPERS, THIS IS TALK SHOW HOST
AND ALL-AROUND ENTERTAINER ELLEN DEGENERES.
I HAVE A FEW ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE,
SO PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY.
FIRST, IF YOUR LICENSE PLATE IS 7LW493,
I HAVE YOUR SIDE MIRROR.
I AM SO SORRY.
[laughter] I APOLOGIZE.
ALSO, I NEED SOME SHOPPING.
I DON'T WANT TO DO IT MYSELF.
WHOEVER BRINGS ME THE FOLLOWING ITEMS FIRST
IS GONNA GET A WONDERFUL PRIZE, ALL RIGHT?
GO TO THE TOY SECTION AND FIND
THE GIANT ELSA "FROZEN" MY SIZE DOLL.
[upbeat holiday music]
- [singing] YOU'RE HERE WHERE YOU SHOULD BE
SNOW IS FALLING
- BRING ME THAT AND YOU GET A PRIZE.
- [singing] IT JUST WASN'T THE SAME
ALONE ON CHRISTMAS DAY
- [singing] LET IT GO
LET IT GO
[mumbling tune]
YOU GOT IT.
YOU WIN.
$500. YOU DID IT!
YES. - THANK YOU!
- THE NEXT THING I NEED IS A CHRIS MARCH SANTA BEARD.
THE FIRST THREE PEOPLE. I NEED THREE OF THEM.
- [singing] CHRISTMAS WAS COLD AND GREY
- [grunts]
- YOU MUST BE WEARING IT
WHEN YOU ARRIVE.
- [singing] ALONE TO CELEBRATE
- WHY DOES SANTA HAVE THREE GARDENS, EVERYBODY?
'CAUSE HE LIKES TO "HOE, HOE, HOE."
THIS THING ON?
YOU HAVE WON.
HERE'S WHAT I NEED NOW:
TAYLOR SWIFT'S FRAGRANCE, TAYLOR BY TAYLOR.
IT'S A GIFT FOR MY TAILOR.
MY TAILOR WANTS TAYLOR BY TAYLOR.
IF YOU HAVE A TAILOR NAMED TAYLOR,
YOUR TAILOR WOULD BE GETTING A--
LOOK AT YOU ALREADY WITH THAT.
$100 GIFT CARD. - AWESOME, THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH. AND TAKE MY HOLIDAY CD.
THIS IS THE BIGGEST PRIZE YET.
IT'S FOR $1,000-- TARGET GIFT CARD.
GO GET A BOTTLE OF BOOZE OF SOME KIND.
GO GET A BEARD. PUT THE BEARD ON.
GO TO THE HOME SECTION AND GET THE THRESHOLD BAR CART,
AND ROLL IT HERE.
- [singing] ALONE ON CHRISTMAS DAY
PRESENTS, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT
DON'T MEAN A THING IF YOU AIN'T HOLDING ME TIGHT
- WONDERFUL.
WHOO!
THAT IS $1,000.
KEV, HERE'S THE CUERVO YOU ASKED FOR.
- OH, THANKS. - ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, I NEED SOMEONE HERE AT CHECKOUT FIVE,
'CAUSE I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.
[cheers and applause]
AND A HAPPY HOLIDAY TO YOU ALL.
[cheers and applause]
THAT WAS FUN.
MORE OF THAT.
MORE OF THAT. I LIKE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
I WANT TO MAKE YOUR SHOPPING EASIER,
SO YOU'RE ALL GONNA GO HOME WITH A $150 TARGET GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
YAY!