- We are reacting to New York's most expensive
apartments, question mark?
- This is gonna be depressing.
(upbeat jazz music)
- Look we've got 1,090 pages to get here,
to get through here.
- They're all 30 million!
- Who the fuck?
- Who's selling this place?
If you own this, why are you selling it?
- That's... - What is that? Is that bath?
Oh it is a bath.
- Excuse me, there are no curtains,
everyone would see my doodle as I got in
and out of the bath.
Although, from that distance
would you really be able to see it at all?
- Or up close.
(laughs)
- This really covers up the room
if you murder someone.
- It really does yeah,
and let's face it,
you're gonna be murdering people.
- You're gonna kill people, if you spend that much money
- If you're spending 30 million dollars
on an apartment, you're gonna kill someone there.
- Oh, it's daytime.
Oh, it's nighttime.
(laughs)
- Nighttime.
Daytime!
Nighttime.
Daytime!
- If you were paying 15 million for an apartment,
you're a wanker.
- That's...
They're not mutually exclusive.
You didn't pay 15 million for your house,
and you're a wanker.
You don't need all that space.
Okay, you're like, I mean maybe if you
had a family, if you're into that kind of thing.
- That's your own pool, as well,
so you can pee in that pool.
- You could pee in that pool.
- You can pee in that pool
and not worry about it.
- But you can also have your lady friend,
who's also evil, and you could
cheers your glasses and say things like,
(laughs) I guess this city is ours.
(both make clinking sound)
- That's worth 30 million I think.
- Ready to see this place in person?
Get in touch with it, okay is he hot? (laughs)
- Create an alert for this search,
yeah, I'd love to fucking see how
the other half life everyday.
- Ready to see the place in person? No, you weirdo.
- Also if somewhere is on sale for 30 million,
have a few more pictures.
- Yeah.
- I wanna see about 45 pictures of that place.
- Oh no sorry, it's only $29,950,000
- That's a steal.
- Why is that the price?
- Yeah, yeah. Is this one shit, is it?
(laughs)
- 50 grand cheaper.
- 207 West 79th Street #12,
talk about opportunity to fuck that address up
when you getting something delivered.
- 1 Central Park South.
- It's like that's a fake address
that you give delivers driver.
You're like, 1 Ireland Street.
- Oh, a spiral staircase,
with which to come down and say,
I'm afraid the child has died.
(laughs)
- That actually looks like photoshopped, doesn't it?
That looks like something you've made.
- Yeah, that's an airbrushed house.
- That's 100%.
- That's not a realistic standard for a bedroom!
- Oh no.
- Now this looks, it looks big.
- This is just a staircase,
and some big rooms.
- And no TV again.
(both exclaim)
- That's nice.
- Pass.
- The herringbone is nice.
- Is that herringbone?
No, sorry.
- Not a millionaire!
- Is that your one from the Crown?
The Queen?
(laughs)
- I think it's a picture of the real Queen.
(laughs)
- I'd say you have a concierge there.
"Oh hello madam, hello madam
how was your day? Fuck off
talking to me!"
- Is this what you're like in hotels as well?
- What hypothetical money does to a person.
- Waverly place!
There's wizards there, go up!
- Do you like six hobs that are gas fired?
Got it, props for that. It's a really small
fucking kitchen.
- I don't like if there's (laughs)
- That's lovely, and you could definitely have
sex like, all around there.
- Yeah.
That's what I was thinking.
- But everyone would see your riding as well
- I love that idea though.
(women laughing)
- That looks like
like a load of dildos, doesn't it?
- What fuckin' dildos are you... ?
- Really long, thin ones.
(laughs)
- Just what I want.
- That's not, it's not that it's empty.
- No it's...
- It's just that they have that much space
to stand there and be like.
(evil laughing)
- I think that kinda looks like a kitchen in a brother.
- Millionaires are into kinky stuff too.
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- I have an idea.
- Yeah?
- Let's win the lottery.
- You are getting way into, way too into the idea
that you're gonna be in this situation.
- I can't wait to win the Euro Millions
and just give some real estate agent in New York
such shit, don't show me this,
there's no pool in it, your way
you're wasting my time.
- There's a pool.
- First picture, is a pool.
- Is a pool.
- I want boats.
- I wanna be one in my pool!
- Oh my god yeah!
- And the pool in the piano!
- In Wizards of Waverly place,
were they rich? I don't remember them being rich.
Why did I watch that? I'm in my 30's.
- This agent is thirsty.
Wanna see this place in person?
It's is as if the agent does like, I've got the keys.
- I'm digging this place.
- I'm really digging this place as well,
I think that's a TV that comes up.
- Oh! (laughs)
- Pool table! But why isn't the pool table
in the pool?
(laughs)
- No, don't look at that.
- Two heads, one bath.
Like, living like animals.
- That looks like Lombardy's apartment
and it looks like it smells like rich mahogany.
- I would say that that looks like it would smell
like cocaine and hookers.
- That's a nice bedroom, you have a balcony
and then this is a nice rooftop balcony.
- I will be honest, I think
we could be happy here.
- Oh my god, I'm here for this.
- Claire.
- I love this.
- Claire that looks like H&M.
- This is so, I love it, I love it.
- Sparkly stuff, that's kinda tacky.
- What disgusting, uh.
- That's beautiful.
And it so, look, the tap comes from the roof.
- Maybe you know what I wonder, it would be like.
(laughs)
- I mean if you're watching this
and you live here, you pathetic loser.
In your 29 million dollar apartment.
- That's better, I love this apartment,
we buy this one.
(laughs)
- Fine.
- Oh that's beautiful, yeah.
- That's grand.
- Oh okay.
- It's nice, it's fine, art is...
- What would you put there instead?
- When I was 12, I made a mosaic
of a dolphin in my bathroom.
- Oh no no no, we don't want
your shitty artwork, you have enough money
to pay a professional.
- Yeah, I get them to come and, I don't know
put a big penis there or something, why not.
- You have like, an area to meet people
at the from of your apartment,
I hate these people.
- God imagine how much effort
it would be being rich though like,
I'd be like, I'm in the bedroom
and I want some cheese and the fridge
is a mile away.
(laughs)
- Oh my god!
(man growling)
- That's a wine cellar.
- My only complaint about this is that
there's not like a couch,
cause I wouldn't want to leave the room.
- Yeah.
- I'm...
I think I'm having a panic attack.
(laughs)
- Look, there's a cinema room!
- And a cinema, I hate them all too,
but I really wanna be one of them.
- Why'd need a cinema room, go to cinema,
you can afford it.
- Yeah exactly!
- How do you get this rich,
do you have to launder money and do drugs?
- Yes.
- You see the water change color, oh my god!
- That's temperature.
- It's so ridiculous, I love it!
- That's for temperature.
- No I would actually change the colors
of the water so we like blue for hot
just to fuck with everyone.
- Wanna see this place in person?
Mother may I?
- I think we could be happy. - I think we could live here.
- Turns out, expensive apartments are nice.
- We hate the people who own these places and yet
we really want to be them.
- So bad!
- Yeah.
- Or, I mean, even compromise be in them, like
because if you're riding that person,
you get to live that lifestyle.
- Maybe if you're just like married
a rich man.
- I know, but feminism!
- Is maybe subscribing to the TRY channel?
- But Dermot, don't forget that sometimes
we subscribe to a YouTube channel
you don't actually get notifications.
If only there was a way to get notifications.
- But George you're forgetting!
If you click on the bell, you get notifications!
- Are you kidding me?
- Try, we're still here. Got loves a trier.
- God loves a trier, and then he met us!