- [Voiceover] I bought a samurai sword.
Didn't even remember until I received
and opened the package.
That was a fun day.
(whoosh)
(hinge squeaks)
("All Night Polka")
(beer pours)
("All Night Polka")
- [Voiceover] $180 worth of fake urine.
My brother and I drunk-discussed it for about an hour.
In the end, it seemed like a good idea.
- [Voiceover] A circus-themed tent for my cat.
(meow)
It has a tiny flag on top.
- [Voiceover] I bought a six cup food processor,
a pair of knee-high bumblebee socks,
and a coloring book called "Dinosaurs with Jobs."
- [Voiceover] Ordered an eight foot
cardboard cut out of Will Ferrell
and arranged for it to be sent to my mother's house.
- [Voiceover] A friend of mine has gotten absurdly drunk
and ordered things on Amazon.
She likes to be surprised.
12 vibrators later and she's finally started canceling
the orders because it is literally always a vibrator.
- [Voiceover] I woke up one morning after
a hell of a happy hour to see an email confirmation
from around 3:30 AM for my purchase of fencing lessons.
(swords clink)
- [Voiceover] My best friend and I woke up
one morning to an email confirming
our purchase of tickets to see Hanson.
(screams)
I'll admit I love Hanson but this was
the worst show due to the other fans.
No one should have an "MMMBop" tattoo.
No one.
- [Voiceover] One Saturday night, I decided
that instead of going to church in the morning,
I would order a package of 1,000 communion wafers online.
- [Voiceover] A Nicholas Cage as Mona Lisa iPhone case.
I was so proud of drunk me when it arrived.
("All Night Polka")
(whoosh)
(hinge squeaks)