-Hey, guys. Welcome back to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
My name is Jimmy Fallon.
I want to thank you guys so much for watching our show.
And we've gotten such amazing feedback
from around -- not just the country, but the world.
And so it really means a lot to us
that you're choosing to watch us to -- to make you laugh
and kind of give you a little ease in the tense times.
Thank you very, very much.
We definitely got some -- some notice
from a couple corporations
that wanted to help us out in raising money.
So I really want to thank --
State Farm is willing to --
Get ready for this, guys. This is big news.
They're going to match up to $100,000,
with all the money going to Red Cross.
They're going to match this week up to a hun--
that's $200,000 we can raise this week.
So please donate to right here --
redcross.org/statefarm.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
to our neighbors at State Farm for doing that.
That means a lot to us,
and we'll be talking about this this whole week
on our show tonight.
I hope everyone who stayed at home had a --
Oh, hi, buddy. Nice to see you.
We -- You can show what we did, Frannie, right?
What did we do over the weekend?
Can we...? We -- No, we --
we colored this in, didn't we? -Yes.
-Now, Winnie, did you color any of this?
-Yeah.
-This is our market stand/lemonade stand
that took us four days to do.
I was just -- look at these colors.
I mean, are you kidding me?
And so I thought what would be fun is that
we could use it as -- almost like a desk,
like Daddy's desk at work,
and I could read you some jokes.
Do you guys want to hear some jokes?
-No. [ Laughs ]
-We have an amazing show tonight.
Kim Kardashian West is my guest.
We'll be Zooming with her,
talking about her new documentary airing on Oxygen
about criminal justice reform
and, also, all the money she's giving
through her company SKIMS to charity,
which is really awesome that she's doing that.
Then we're gonna talk to music superstar Jon Bon Jovi,
who is doing amazing stuff with JBJSoulKitchen.org --
that is his charity that he's talking about today.
We'll be talking to Jon about that
and, also, his new song that you can sing with him through.
You'll see later in the show.
Then we have great music from OneRepublic.
I'm so happy you guys did that for us.
Thank you so much, OneRepublic.
Brand-new song from them from their home.
I thought it would be kind of cool
to do some monologue jokes now, so let's get going.
Here we go.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
Let's get to some news.
Well, guys, in these crazy times,
Taco Bell announced that, tomorrow,
they're offering every American one free Doritos Locos Taco.
Experts are calling it
"not what we need during a national toilet paper shortage."
[ Fireplace hissing softly ]
Love the nice hiss of the gas fireplace.
[ Fireplace hissing softly ]
Meanwhile, over in Moscow,
a citywide quarantine has been imposed
where everyone will be trapped by a smart monitoring system,
and residents will need permission to leave their homes,
or, as that's known in Russia, Monday.
Some sports news -- the Wimbledon tennis tournament
is the next big sporting event that will be canceled.
Don't worry -- if you still want to hear
men and women grunting all day,
just listen to the quarantined couple next door who won't stop.
Earmuffs, you know.
Some business news -- as of Friday,
the videoconferencing company Zoom
has valued at more than $40 billion,
or roughly as much as Uber,
which makes sense, since they're both places
where users have no idea how to mute themselves.
Listen to this -- I heard that a lot of people
are doing virtual sessions with their therapists,
but it's hard because they can't talk
about their significant others.
When the doctor says, "How's your relationship?"
you have to go, "It's very good."
I saw that some people have been posting
throwback photos of themselves online.
Gets awkward when you comment,
"Wow, you looked so young back then,"
and they're like, "That was from two weeks ago."
This isn't good -- last night, a Dutch museum says
that a Vincent Van Gogh painting was stolen.
Apparently, the security guard tried stopping the thieves,
but he couldn't get within six feet of them.
[ Rhythmic tapping ]
Listen to this -- according to a new study,
the majority of medical marijuana
is stronger than it needs to be for pain relief purposes.
You can read more about the study
in the "Journal of American Narc Physicians."
And finally, the movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"
hit theaters 30 years ago today.
They all wore masks, ate lots of pizza,
and were hidden away from society.
So, basically, we're all Ninja Turtles now.
Thank you very much.
That's our monologue right there, everybody.
Hey, we want to check in on our very good friend,
one of my best friends.
You know him -- you love him -- Steve Higgins.
So I got to check in on him today.
He's doing great.
Here's Steve at home with his family.
Higgins!
-Hey! How's it going, man?
-Hey. I missed your face, dude.
How you doing, buddy? You look great.
-Oh, so good. Everything's good.
Everything's as good as can be.
-Where are you now? Where -- Where exactly are you?
-We're -- We're at the house -- the boys and I and Ellen.
We're staying at the house.
And Anna's staying in the city, nursing at Mount Sinai West.
-Oh, my. -God bless her.
-How is she doing? I love Anna so much.
I'm so proud of her, dude.
-She is thank-- She's just --
She says she's just exhausted every night.
So she just comes home and goes to sleep, goes back --
[Chuckling] wakes up, goes back into work,
and she's on the front line, so...
-She's on the front lines for us, fighting for us.
Tell her I'm so proud of her, please,
and give her my best... -Oh, I will.
-...'cause I knew her when --
I used to call her "Anna Banana."
She was 5 when I -- -Yeah.
[ Chuckling ] Exactly.
I mean, you did meet her when she was 5 years old.
How crazy is that?
-And -- And you have your -- Are your sons there, as well?
-Yep, all three of them are here.
And then Ellen's here, and we're just at the -- at the house,
trying to kind of -- just staying quarantined.
But I tell you, watching you and Frannie
has really made me -- it's made all our days.
It's so fun. -Oh, dude --
-Just watching her climb -- climb all over you.
[ Both laugh ] -Yeah. No, there's no rules.
I mean, they're -- they're kids, so the kids are gonna be kids.
-Dad! -Okay, bud.
-Dad!
-Just let me talk to Jimmy for a second. Okay.
-Dad? -Alright, alright.
-What? -[ Chuckling ] Okay.
Alrighty. Okay. Alright.
[ Laughter ] -Dad?
-Got him! Got him! -Dad!
-Alright. -Mom!
-Alright. -Oh, bunny ears.
[ Chuckles ] -Alright.
-Stop! Ohh! -[ Laughing ] Okay.
-Oh. Uh, say, guys --
-Okay, okay, everybody back. Get back there.
Ohh!
-Alright, okay.
-I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna let you go, okay, bud?
-Ohh! [ Laughter ]
-Take care. Um, I'll talk you to later on, alright?
I'll -- I'll text you.