On this episode of China Uncensored,
just because you might be a little evil,
doesn’t mean you can’t be A LOT cool.
“I’m with it. I’m hip.”
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored,
I’m your host Chris Chappell.
Kids these days.
They have no idea what it was like in China’s good old days of full-on communism.
You know, when the government took care of its citizens.
People respected tradition.
And neighbors treated each other with kindness.
But oh! How to get the youth interested in communism again?
All you need is to change your image!
You've had your communist takeover,
but now it's time for your communist makeover.
You know, a little less young Lenin,
and a little more young Stalin.
And you thought Che Guevara had the best communist hairdo.
Anyway, that’s exactly what the Chinese regime wants to do.
Get this generation of young Chinese to realize Communism is totally lit!
And since communism came from the West,
China’s thought leaders knew exactly where to look for inspiration.
And this is what they came up with.
Yes, that is a Chinese hip hop song about Karl Marx,
the founder of communism.
It’s called “Marx is a Post-90s.”
That is, the generation born after 1990,
which is the Chinese equivalent of saying "Marx is a millennial."
It’s got lines like “I’m your Bruno Mars,
but you’re my Venus, Karl Marx,”
and “communism is as sweet as honey.”
And apparently, it's gone viral.
Now, it may be hard at first to see the connections between rap and the proletarian revolution,
but I would argue that in China,
Communist Party officials are the ones truly living the baller lifestyle.
They've got their bling.
And they've got their side pieces.
This guy had 18 mistresses.
This guy!
This guy had 140!
And like Jay-Z,
many officials found that it didn't pay to get caught with Becky with the good hair.
And their kids are part of what's known in China as the fuerdai,
the second generation rich,
who are infamous for a different kind of party lifestyle.
You see,
hip hop is a natural way to connect the Communist Party with the youth of today!
What's that Shelley?
Ok, so apparently that Karl Marx rap
is the theme song of a nine-episode TV series called “Marx is Trustworthy.”
Which is is a "reading show" for young people.
Is this some kind of twisted Reading Rainbow?
What's next, Reeducation Camp Rock?
Sesame Commune?
And I’m sure after watching it,
kids are going to think communism is totally sick.
Sick as in in “cool.”
Not sick as in the philosophy that inspired two of history’s deadliest dictators.
Anyway, the hip hop videos don’t stop with Marx.
Want to make Xi Jinping’s anti-corruption campaign sound cool?
And of course, there’s the People’s Liberation Army recruiting video.
Oh, Communist Party! You’ve made killing people cool again.
You know, the idea behind the Marx rap sounds familiar somehow…
Using hip hop to dramatize the life of a prominent historical figure
in a way that appeals to the masses and becomes wildly popular.
“But Hamilton forgets
His plan would have the government
Assume states’ debts.
Now place your bets
at who that benefits?
The very seat of government
where Hamilton sits.
Not true!”
Wait a minute, are we about to get Marx the musical?!
I'm sure it will be a runaway smash.
Of the “four olds.”
So what do you think China’s propaganda ministry
should make a rap song about next?
Are you looking forward to hearing the Karl Marx mixtape?
Leave your comments below.
Once again, I’m Chris Chappell. See you next time.