l was like, “Ugh, I fell in love with the devil”, and it was something that I kept
saying.
I was just in such a horrible relationship.
I kept telling myself like, “This is a song.
There's a song in this.”
I remember my manager Jen walking through my front door and I was like sitting on the
piano and I'm like, “Oh my God, you gotta hear this song I just wrote!”
I could just feel like, “Oh my God, so many people are going to be able to relate to this
one.”
How many times have we like or have people like actually experienced either being in
a toxic relationship?
Or just like falling in love with a crazy?
I was like at the piano with like my head over it, like crying and like going through
so much.
When I song write, I tap into like another realm, and it is like a spiritual experience.
I feel like I'm like floating.
Like I kind of feel like I'm in this cool, like creative space where I'm like not
really like on earth.
And the song was like really healing for me and so I'm proud of myself for coming out
of the other end of that.
So the verses came probably at like three o'clock in the morning because I found I would
go to bed, and shut everything off, and unplug, and everyone would be gone.
And when I would try to go to sleep, was when a lot of my lyrics were coming to me.
My duvet cover is like stained and like I had to keep buying new ones because I was
like staining them with like pen.
I would just fall asleep with like lyric books and like pens all around me and wake up and
just, “Oh no, I ruined another pair of sheets.”
Lyrics like shotguns, which is like obviously like danger.
And like roses, which is like, can be like make-ups.
So there's like the highs and the lows and then make-up, break-up.
Heartbreak explosions meaning like heartbreak.
So there's pain in it and it's just like exploding.
And then at the whole thing is just reckless.
It’s like the worst I'm sorry like gift.
Like a teddy bear.
Like it's like bring on the rubies in the diamonds.
Teddy bears?
Battling the temptation with the chemistry and the passion between somebody.
And you know they're not good for you.
It's like actually potentially life threatening.
I know what my situation is.
I’m with someone who’s not good for me.
It’s like, “Ah, you want them, you want them.”
But then like you pull away and you're like, “No.
I have to do what's good for me.”
It was just like someone I was like kind of like dating slash seeing.
It wasn't like an ex husband or anything like that, or like a serious like in love, crazy
relationship.
It was just this guy who showed up in my life.
Well I mean he did ask me to marry him.
I was like, “Um.
No.”
Then like you know he like harassed me for a really long time and like.
Like help me get out of this nightmare.
I need to like get out of this like spiderweb that like I’m caught up in.
Finding an angel is somebody who is like healthy emotionally.
Like well-balanced.
Stable.
Grounded.
And like somebody that you can have like a healthy relationship with.
Sometimes it's fun to play with fire and to like you know be a little rebellious and to
like push the envelope. To do things you're not supposed to do or to be a little bad,
a little naughty.
Sometimes there's just like excitement in that.
I'm like a good girl.
In the bridge of the song, I am dancing with the devil.
Slow dancing in the graveyard.
And I thought that was like this really cool like space of like floatiness showing the
temptation that like I face.
Where this guy is so hard to resist.
Like there’s like chemistry, and then I eventually like pull away.
And I'm like, “No.”
I set myself free, I choose to do what's best for me, and then I bust open a coffin and
then I come out of the coffin and walk off.
What are people going to seriously think about this?
Like can I really put this in a song?
And because I'm asking myself that, I'm like, “Hell yeah!”
Because that’s why it’s going to be fucking cool.
It's not like I'm a devil worshiper, or whatever.
I like to face and not run away from issues.
I like am totally okay to talk about them because it’s real and people go through
that.
I hope that like you know other women or whoever like can pull strength like feel strong after
listening to my songs.
And like I’m in a coffin in the music video.
And I was like, “Okay this is weird.”
But I embraced it.
I’m not saying I didn’t have a panic attack in the coffin.
I did but I kept it together you didn’t know.