- It's finally Friday.
We knew it was coming and now it's here,
and I'm on Facebook and the website today, hey.
And okay, so I am getting better, technologically speaking,
however, I did not realize you can't use the hashtag,
or the pound symbol for us old folks,
and the ampersand; that little 'and' sign,
because it won't recognize it.
So we can't do Katie Q&A, so we can do Katie FAQ.
So I think that's the hashtag that we'll use from now on.
So if you have questions you can use that hashtag,
but if you did the Q&A, I'll try to find it.
I think I'll just have to search Katie Q.
'Cause then when you put that ampersand,
it like, it breaks it up or something.
I don't get it.
You'd think that they'd just make it all work,
but come on, Twitter and hashtag land.
Get on it.
Okay, so, without further adieu, today's video is gonna
be a little interesting because at the end
I'm gonna share 10 things you didn't know about me.
'Cause everybody in YouTube land has been doing those
like 25 things or 50 things that you didn't know about me
and that's a lot of things, so I decided 10 would be
a good place to start, okay?
But my first question comes from the website,
and it's Bailey Boo.
And every time I read her name I always think
Honey Boo-Boo child, and I can't help myself.
Not that I watch that show, but, I mean,
it's the only thing I know with Boo in it.
So Bailey Boo was curious because she had
a clinician mentioned BPD or borderline personality disorder
in her first meeting, and she had answered
a lot of questions and done all this stuff,
and then the psychiatrist mentioned that
she may have it, and then when she came back for the second,
Bailey brought it up to her and she said,
"Oh, forget that I mentioned that."
And so now she's wondering is it just enough
to say that someone has BPD?
Does she have it?
And it's, you know, it's kind of running through her brain,
which is so frustrating because some clinicians
don't realize what that can do to us,
and what we can just ruminate about it.
You can't just throw out diagnoses like that.
And to be truthful, unless she continued to talk about it,
it's most likely she doesn't think that you have it.
If she thought that you had enough of the symptoms
to be diagnosed then she would have followed up
and she would have talked to you about it, however,
I have a lot of clients who I call like BPD light,
and it's almost like we don't have all the symptoms.
Like, I know in your question on the website you'd said,
you know, you have some of them but not others,
and that might be why the psychiatrist didn't say
that you do have borderline.
Instead, you know, she told you just to forget that
she said it, which is such a ridiculous thing to say,
but what she might mean is that you have some
of the symptoms and the thing that can really help you
is DBT, and I have a workbook, and I have a video about DBT.
So go to my channel and you can, you know,
hear about it and you can watch my video about BDP
and get the workbooks that I recommend for it.
Because even if we don't have it completely,
she doesn't think we have enough for a diagnosis,
that doesn't mean that you can't still benefit
from a lot of the things that are known to help it, okay?
So second question, and this is a great question.
This one is, and I didn't wanna say this person's name,
'cause I didn't know if they're okay with that.
Is it weird to feel sympathy to my abusers?
No it's not weird.
I have a lot of clients that feel that way,
and I honestly believe that it's because we're
so scared and we feel so, I don't know what the word
I'm looking for, like, vulnerable to them.
Like we have no control over the fact that
whatever they're doing to us, they're doing it to us,
that, because of that, because of that vulnerability.
It's almost like Stockholm syndrome.
You can Google that.
It's like when we're, Stockholm syndrome is like
when we're kidnapped or when someone hurts us
or takes us away or is like threatening us,
we actually attach to our abuser because
they're the only person that actually understands
everything that's going on because they're actually
there when we're being traumatized and stuff like that.
And you can read about it. You can Google about that.
And I'm not saying that this is exactly that,
but I find that a lot of people who've been abused
when it's gone on for a long period of time,
we almost feel like it's a relationship.
Because we keep seeing that person and things keep happening
and they're the only person a lot of times
that knows about it because we don't wanna tell people,
which I know the person who has this question
said that she didn't tell anybody.
And we can feel bad for them because we've actually
kind of connected to them in a bizarre way.
So no, it's not abnormal to feel sympathy for them.
I would however encourage you please, please, please
do report it because people who have abused in the past
have a really high likelihood to abuse people in the future.
And the more people we can help and the more people
we can stop from having that happen to them, the better.
Right? So, no, it's not weird, and you're not abnormal.
But please, please do report it, okay?
Now, third question from the website. It comes from Daw.
And it says, "How do I get over the urge to be
"in control of everything?
"Like, even my emotions in therapy and to stay present?"
It sounds to me like you're struggling with that
almost, I don't know if it's dissociation because
I'm not sure when you say "stay present" what exactly
you're feeling, but it almost sounds like dissociation
where you get so overwhelmed because your emotions, like,
once you open the door to your emotions,
you, like, have to take a break
because it's so overwhelming.
And something that can help a lot of times,
and I believe in the forums, in my website,
where I have the Q&A forum, someone left a response,
JustWannaBeBeautiful left a response answering
pretty much what I would say.
You can write things down,
and you can bring them into session,
and if you aren't feeling strong enough
or present enough to read it to your therapist,
you can give it to your therapist
and that can help you get over those humps
you know, when you have that few couple,
I don't know, if there's like a topic you have
trouble bringing up or a couple of things that
have happened to you that you struggled to talk about,
you can get those out and kind of move past that
hard part, like, tearing the Band-Aid off
and just getting it over with.
You can do that through letters and things like that.
So I hope that helps.
I know that's really hard, and keep me posted, okay?
Now number four.
Is it normal to return to treatment more than once?
This is from MotivatedJen on my website,
and yes, it is very normal.
I don't honestly think I've had any clients.
Have I had any? I've probably had a couple.
Maybe two or three that I can think of.
Everybody's been to treatment more than once.
It's hard. Recovery is a process, right?
And there's no shame in going back.
I've had honestly, and I'm not exaggerating.
I've had clients go to treatment, one, 16 times,
and the 16th time is when she got better.
And she's doing well. I heard from her a couple weeks ago.
So I'm excited for her.
And I've had clients who've gone, like, three or four times.
I think it's more normal to go multiple times
than it is to not go multiple times.
And you guys can leave your comments below.
If you've been to treatment a couple of times,
let people know, 'cause I know some of us feel like
it has to be perfection.
It's that black and white thinking, right?
It always catches us and it's telling us that
we have to get better and we've already been to treatment
and we don't have the right to go back,
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's lies. It's a process.
Sometimes we're not ready, and we go there,
and we just fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
until we can get out, and then we don't wanna go back.
But if we're in the right mindset
and we're ready to get better,
treatment can really help, even if it's the third,
fourth, fifth, or 17th time that we go,
I think, you know, whenever we're ready
to get better, it will really benefit us.
Okay, and number five, the last question.
How much is too much to share during group sessions?
This is from Brent or (mumbling) on,
he asked this on Facebook, since it's Facebook Friday.
And that's a good question, Brent,
and I know that you have a great group that you go to.
And I always tell my clients that,
once you feel comfortable, share whatever you wanna share.
However, I don't want you to feel remorse
for what you've shared, so, I would encourage you
to maybe vlog about it, because I know that you like
to do that to kind of, you know, talk things out,
or a journal if that helps, and by doing that,
we can journal about what it would feel like to share it
and what if, and you never know, right?
What if we all of a sudden don't get along with someone,
or someone leaves group, or there's someone new in group.
Does that change what you'd wanna share?
Does that make you feel less comfortable?
'Cause if the answer is yes, I'd be really uncomfortable
and I wish I wouldn't have shared, you know,
whatever it is, then I probably wouldn't share it,
but if it feels good to talk in a group setting
where people are supportive and there's a therapist
that's guiding it so you know it's a safe place,
I say share whatever it is that you need
to talk about and get off your chest.
It can feel really good to talk about anything.
I mean, if it's past abuse, or if it's where you're at now,
or if it's something that you're struggling with
and you need some advice and some support,
that's what we go to group for, so I say share what
you're feeling comfortable sharing,
but just take that time to kinda think it over
and make sure you're in a place where it'll be okay to share
and you won't regret it, okay?
Now, ten things that you may not have known about me.
And I just put these down, and some of them are funny,
and some of them are I don't know, we'll see.
You have to let me know what you think.
Okay, number one. I have a tattoo.
And I want some more. I actually just want one more.
And I want Sanskrit on my, like, rib side.
But I have to find someone who
does it really well, so that's number one.
Number two, I hunt and fish,
and I do own guns and fishing poles.
I was born and raised in the country.
(making banjo sounds)
And my dad was a big outdoorsman, and I was a daddy's girl,
so, hence those things, right?
I have an older brother, Nicholas, and I love him.
I'm so lucky that I had such a nice brother.
We didn't really fight that much.
We actually got along really well.
And he's married now, and he lives in Washington State
with the rest of my family.
Number four, I love hip-hop almost as much
as I love country music.
It doesn't make any sense, but I do.
I love Tribe Called Quest.
I was listening to that today, and Common.
I can't help myself,
but I also love Jason Aldeen and Miranda Lambert.
What?
Number five. I'm addicted to shopping on eBay.
It's very true. I will watch it.
Five, four, bid now, bid now. Oh, I lost it.
I get really addicted to it and I can't help myself.
I love a good deal. Who doesn't love a good deal?
Then, six.
My laugh, when I really get to laughing,
sounds like Marge Simpson, and Sean thinks it's hilarious
'cause I go (imitating Marge Simpson).
And if anybody watches Simpsons, she has that funny laugh.
So maybe one day, I'm sure you guys have probably
heard it in a video when I really,
I crack myself up sometimes; can't help it.
Okay, number seven.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians is my guilty pleasure.
I'll admit it. I don't know why.
That's probably why they're making
millions of dollars, right?
Number eight, I have six bridesmaids.
So, those are my closest friends.
I'm very excited that they're enjoying that time with me,
and we're gonna go on a bachelorette
party the weekend before; should be really fun.
And number nine, I'm a Kappa Alpha Theta.
Yes, I was in a sorority.
I went to Pepperdine, so we didn't live in houses,
so I have a very different experience than a lot of people,
but Theta love for any of you out there that were Thetas.
And number ten, I used to have my nose pierced.
That's right. You can kinda see it.
A little dot dot to remind me.
I took it out when I finished, it was when I was graduate
school and I had to get a job, like,
what I called a "real job."
I have to get a "real job," and so I took it out,
and my mom was glad 'cause she was really mad
I had it in the first place, and so now I don't have it
anymore, and I used to have like my tragus pierced
and I had these two things pierced.
I went through a phase, I think. I'd call it a phase.
But now just these. Just these guys.
So, anyway, fun facts. Hope you liked 'em.
Hope you have a great weekend.
I'll be thinking of you all.
I'm gonna try to get caught up on Twitter right now,
'cause Twitter, everything is just so busy.
But I'm doing my best. I'm thinking of all of you.
I'm reading all of your comments, all of your questions.
I'm doing my best to get them into these Q&As,
and I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend.
Bye.