We are rolling.
[Laughing]
That's when I use my voice, when it's some money involved.
[Laughing]
So we met, uh, I feel like the first time we met was at a party at Jimmy Kimmel's house.
And he'd assembled a bunch of people and I sat with you and and your lovely wife,
and had a really nice conversation.
Yeah.
And, uh, it seems like I made a real impression on you.
[Laughing]
How are you?
Oh, good.
There she is.
Then I got the privilege of getting to go to, uh, the Apollo that night.
Don is the real deal.
He had his own variety show and his own sitcom.
He called both of them “The Don Rickles Show.”
That's the kind of creative genius we're dealing with here.
[Laughing]
I just showed up and, you know, gave it a wave
and made Robert De Niro feel important.
When was the first time you met Robert De Niro?
At a whispering contest.
[Laughing]
I gotta tell this waiter to shut the [bleep] up.
OK. [Laughing]
OK, guys, just keep it down.
Sorry. We needed pepper.
Sorry. The pepper's important for the background.
OK, so I started at a place called Second City in Chicago.
>> It was a lot of improv there. >> Yeah.
Getting to know you and research you a little bit
I know that you never wrote down your act, right?
A lot of people can't believe that.
>> But it's true. >> Yeah, I can't believe it.
Everything I've done on the stage has never been written.
But it worked for me.
Many, many years ago he gave me a break on a television show
with hair, with his — not you, not you.
[Laughing]
I'll let you know when, but it's good that you practice standing.
[Laughing]
Later on we're gonna have you walking and talking and mixing with people.
You're gonna have such a good time.
[Laughing]
You know, nowadays, um, stand-ups, you know, they put on headphones.
They listen to their act.
They walk around and say their act out loud.
When you were getting ready to do your act, what was your prefight warm-up?
I always belted a couple of vodkas in those days.
And then I met my wife and realized that, uh, we were going no place together.
[Laughing]
How long have you guys been married?
Sixty years?
Fifty-one.
Not 60, huh? Well...
Call me when it's 60.
All right. Sixty.
>> I have two boys,
>> Oh, do you? >> 6 and 8.
They're fun. They're wild right now.
>> That's great. >> Yeah.
It's funny to watch them form jokes, you know?
Like, to start to figure out what they think is funny.
>> Yeah. >> And you have grandsons, right?
The oldest is 17.
He, he's very creative.
And his brother is a wonderful boy but he does a lot of...
takes quick naps.
[Laughing]
Just throw this in the garbage, please.
I'm on a diet.
OK.
>> I'm just kidding. >> Are you sure?
Just kidding.
If you do one more funny remark, I'm leaving.
[Laughing]
[♫♪ Music ♪♫]
Was your mom a good cook?
She was never one for the kitchen.
Do you know where your kitchen is in your house?
I don't have to.
I tip somebody and they, and they find it.
[Laughing]
You've probably traveled all over the world, right?
Did you ever go to Italy or some place and find a tiny restaurant
that Frank told you about or something?
Frank who?
Didn't he die?
[Laughing]
It's a little humor, a little humor, Frank.
[♪♫ Music ♫♪]
My grandfather was in the service.
He fought in the Battle of the Bulge.
What prompted you to go into the service?
Failing in school.
Yeah. How old were you when you went in?
Eighteen.
Wow. Did you use to make people laugh in the Navy?
Oh, God, I was the class clown.
>> Yeah. >> You know, yeah.
I was in the Philippines for 2½ years.
Did you ever hear the story, I'm sure you did, about...
it just made me think of it when you were talking about being in the, in the service.
Betty White tells the story of how...
hold on, let me get this right.
There's a lot of old people in this story so I think you'll be interested.
Carl Reiner saved the life of Betty White's husband
or Betty White's husband, Allen, saved the life of Carl.
One of them, Carl Reiner was funny in the military
and they kinda put him in another squad and then his,
the squad he was in went on to all die soon after.
But he was... [Laughing]
It's a great, it's a funny, uplifting story.
Yeah.
A bunch of people die, but either Carl Reiner or Betty White's husband doesn't.
Why don't we just talk about burials?
Yeah. [Laughing]
Is it, it, do you get tired of saying "God rest his soul" because, no.
OK.
I guess you don't say that.
You just say "Dig deeper."
[Laughing]
[♫♪ Music ♪♫]
What's all this busy work?
New straws? Why?
They wanna act like the place is doing good.
They charge you per straw.
The early part of your career was working at, you know, small clubs.
>> Joints. >> Yeah, joints.
What was that early part of your career like?
It was tough because in those days they didn't know me from diddly-squat.
I came on with something entirely different, you know.
>> Yeah. >> I did once something that nobody's ever done before.
I went out to the casino and I said, "OK, I've had it."
"I want this stopped."
"I want it stopped now."
"It's too damn noisy."
"I'm trying to do some humor and you people are ruining it."
"And I'm not gonna tolerate it."
All the gamblers were like this.
[Laughing]
And they probably all went into your show the next night, right?
You don't understand.
You try to do a good job and you can’t.
I'm a friend. You're fat.
And I'll tell you this.
What's your name?
James.
Get up, James. Get up.
Now get your ass outta here.
I don't want you in here.
I didn't want you in here.
[Laughing]
I want to be with you so bad, lady.
I swear to God.
Is this the wife?
Jesus Christ.
[Laughing]
Well, it feels like you kept your shows alive.
>> Yeah. >> Like they were organic.
The audience can feel that, too.
They don't like, they don't like if they feel like you're just phoning it in.
They wanna feel like it's their special night, you know?
When I started out I did impressions.
Can you still do any of those impressions?
Is there some extra money involved? [Laughing]
“Run Silent, Run Deep.”
Burt Lancaster, he was like, “Don, you gotta know about the submarine.”
[Laughing] “Gotta understand it.”
Gable was like, “There he is coming up with that crap again.”
“Let's have lunch and forget about it.”
Uh, my kind of actor.
I did Gable all the time.
Clark is... [Laughing]
Good guy, Clark.
Did people take themselves less seriously in the ’50s, ’60s than they do now?
It's so changed, you know.
The kids come on with, you know, “Up Your Kazoo” and...
I gotta say, I'm a producer of “Up Your Kazoo” and it's a big hit.
[Laughing]
So please, before you go any further.
Do you care about young comedians?
Do you watch anybody?
Do you ever go and...
No, I watch myself 'cause you can't top greatness.
[Laughing]
I'll tell you this.
Is this too fast, Ronnie?
[Laughing]
Anyway, uh...
He's sitting there looking at the program going
"Where does it say he makes fun of me?"
"Where does it say that?"
It's fascinating to watch your work because you just,
you know how to tease and it feels like a loving tease
even though it's, it's very hard to do.
I never walked off the stage feeling I've offended anybody, you know.
Yeah.
How long you married?
You're a good-lookin' guy.
How long you married?
Twelve years. To this woman?
Why?
I'll tell you, no, she's -
Third marriage?
It was just a tone thing.
You either, you either know how to do it or you don't.
That's right.
And you did it so wonderfully.
Oh, thank you.
The closest version of that I have ever had is when, when we hosted the Golden Globes.
Good evening, I'm Tina Fey.
And I'm Amy Poehler.
Those of you at home, I wish you could feel the excitement in this room.
You can smell the pills from here.
[Laughing]
In today's society, teasing is very difficult to get away with or do
because people are very sensitive about it.
Oh, yeah.
Are you Craig?
I am.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Why did you butt in like that?
[Laughing]
>> Good to see you. >> Thank you so much.
Uh, I need another straw, please, when you get a chance.
[Laughing]
I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be sincere here for a second.
I remember very vividly when I first met you.
And you and your wife were so lovely to me.
And I'm really honored to get to talk to you, Don.
Well, that's very sweet.
Yeah, when your name came up, I said, "I don't want her."
[Laughing]
And they said, "Be nice, she, she needs it."
"She needs it."
Thanks for having me to your beautiful home.
[Laughing]
Yeah.
It's not bad is it?
Ceiling needs some work.
[Laughing]
I don't really remember a time when I didn't know who Don Rickles was.
You know, my parents and my grandparents loved him.
And for me it's just associated with a lot of laughter in my house.
Tuxedo, drink in hand, everybody laughing so hard at themselves,
and loving his hard teasing made me realize that there was something
about him as a person that everybody really loved.
What it do?
It's your boy, big Snoop Dogg.
And I need y'all to go subscribe right now to the AARP Channel.
You know what I'm talkin' about?
So you can see Don Rickles and see his right-hand man,
no, his left-hand man, Snoop Dogg, live and direct.
Go subscribe right now.
What you waitin' on?
What did he say?
[Laughing]