whether it's through unnecessary drama or constant negative talk toxic people spread their energy
to those around them dragging everyone down if you're currently dealing with this sort of person
pay close attention because i'm going to show you exactly what you should do for this is the
comprehensive guide to dealing with toxic people now there are basically two types of toxic people
the first are those that you are not tied to which basically means you don't have to interact
with them that often maybe it's a friend of a friend or a distant relative that drops by once
a month the best thing to do with somebody that falls into this category is to simply
avoid them because going through the process of approaching them and trying to fix a problem
isn't really worth the time or the risk i say risk because anytime you confront someone there's a
chance that it will lead to more drama especially if they are the toxic type which is why it's best
to just avoid them as much as possible now if this is someone that goes out of their way to mess with
you even if you're trying to avoid them like a bully that picks on you once a week then you are
forced to stand up for yourself this is a lesson that i learned from an ex-convict co-worker of
mine who spent over a decade in jail for attempted murder when you're sent to prison there is gonna
be someone who tries to mess with you on your first day there when this happens you must fight
back if you don't everyone is going to think that you're weak mentally and physically weak and you
will become the local punching bag you're going to be pushed around by all the other inmates and they
will never stop because they see you as an easy target so if you're dealing with a bully you got
to show them that it isn't so easy to mess with you now i'm not going to say exactly how to do
this because it depends on the situation sometimes battles are fought using fists but sometimes
they're fought using words so that's how you deal with toxic people that you are not tied to now
on the other hand if the toxic person you have in mind is someone that you are tied to someone that
you have to see almost every day like a family member or a best friend then you can't really
just leave or ignore them in these situations the best thing to do is to confront them and
let your feelings be known because most of the time people that are tied to you do care about
you no matter how poorly they show it and keep in mind the reason most of these people are toxic
is because they dislike something about themselves or their own life and they're just projecting that
negativity onto those around them without really being aware of the harm they're bringing in cases
like this you should approach them in a very calm manner and tell them how you honestly feel about
their actions let's say for example your parents are constantly comparing you with other people
and shaming you for not being successful enough in this case you could say something along the
lines of look uh mom or dad i know you want me to be successful that's why you're so hard on me
but you have to understand that constantly comparing me with the kid of your friend at work
it doesn't help i'm already under enough pressure from school for the exams i'm already comparing
myself to all my classmates it's already stressing me out i want to be successful i know you want me
to be successful and in order for that to happen i need you to stop talking about this sort of stuff
because it makes it harder for me to focus on my studies at home when you're doing it so can you
promise that you'll try to stop so this is how i would do it of course don't just copy this you
got to adjust it to fit the culture and situation that you're in just make sure that you explain to
them how their actions are causing harm in your life but do so in a very very calm manner because
if you get emotional at all they'll stop thinking logically and things will be taken the wrong way
if you can do this there's a pretty good chance that they'll think about what you said and try
to make a change and remember it's probably gonna take them a while to stop i'm talking about months
and maybe even years because toxic thinking is habitual so be patient and whenever they start
acting up just hold them accountable by saying something like hey remember you promised that
you'd stop now of course there are going to be people that are simply not willing to listen or
to make a change in these cases my suggestion for you is to try a couple more times because
these are people that you've known for many years and maybe even your whole life so it's worth the
effort to try and better the relationship however if you've tried multiple times with no results if
they refuse to change or continue to mock you for bringing up your feelings then it's time for you
to distance yourself it doesn't matter how much blood you share or how long you've known them for
don't sacrifice your happiness for someone who clearly doesn't care about you distancing yourself
will give them time to think and reflect now you can distance yourself in many different ways
you can physically spend less time around them for example going to a local library to study
as compared to studying at home or finding a new group of friends to hang with instead of hanging
out with your toxic best friend every day you can also consider moving out if the toxic person you
have in mind is a family member when i moved out my relationship with my parents actually
improved i think it's because when you rarely ever see someone you end up missing them more
and they also know that i can choose to not see them so they have an incentive to be on their best
behavior if they want me to come visit again and that's it this is how you deal with toxic people
you avoid them if they are not people that you are tied to you stand up for yourself and fight back
if they're going out of their way to mess with you you approach them and let your feelings be known
if they are tied to you and if they refuse to change you distance yourself so they can
hopefully learn the lesson that way this is what worked for me in the past and i hope this works
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recently i've been re-listening to anti-fragile by Nasim Taleb it's a very powerful book that
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make better decisions in life i highly recommend you to check it out besides that guys stay tuned