Unless you want to drive your nearest Starbucks barista up the nearest tree, there's one thing
you should never order, and that's any item off their so-called "Secret Menu."
Turns out Starbucks employees have very good reason to hate the "Secret Menu."
Here's why.
It should go without saying, but Starbucks employees prefer customers who don't make
their jobs miserable.
They want customers like this guy:
"You know, this is, excuse me, a damn fine cup of coffee."
So it's safe to say they don't want customers like this guy:
"Venti is a large coffee."
"Really, says who?
Fellini?"
"How much is that?
Here's a ten."
"Do you accept lira, or is it all euros now?"
"You know what, keep the change."
And you know what makes a Starbucks barista really unhappy?
When somebody orders off the so-called "secret menu."
In fact, the whole idea of the Secret Menu is one of baristas' biggest pet peeves, judging
by the number of Starbucks employees who have taken to Reddit to vent.
One barista wrote:
"… there's nothing more annoying than getting requests for drinks from the 'Secret Menu."
That's because baristas are only trained to prepare items that are part of the official
menu.
If you want an item that isn't there, be clear and specific.
Don't waltz up to the counter and bark out a random drink order that someone on the Internet
probably made up.
"May I have a half caf decaf mint mocha latte foam on the bottom served in a flower vase
and if y'all got some green food coloring back there, throw it in."
Baristas want to make one thing clear: There is no secret menu.
So don't get mad if a Starbucks employee doesn't know how to make every random beverage that
catches your fancy.
True, some Starbucks locations have adopted "secret menu" creations as unofficial drinks,
posting handmade signs that encourage customers to do some off-menu ordering.
In fact, customer creations have occasionally made it onto Starbucks' official menu.
To celebrate the Frappuccino's 20th anniversary in 2015, six customer-created beverages temporarily
became bonafide Starbucks products.
"I like to call this my Victories Are Sweeter Together Caramel Frappuccino, with extra drizzle."
There's occasionally crossover between discontinued menu items and "secret menu" requests.
But please note: Even if a drink was once on the menu, that doesn't mean your barista
will know how to make it.
Plus, discontinued drinks can only be made if your Starbucks still has the ingredients.
Thrillist talked to a few employees about the "secret menu," and it's not all bad news.
Some of them said they didn't mind when a customer orders something off-menu… as long
as they know all the details on how to make it.
In other words, don't barge in and order a Butterbeer Frappuccino like some Big Bad Boss
Person.
"Put that coffee down."
Instead, order a creme frappuccino with three pumps caramel, three pumps toffee nut, and
a caramel drizzle.
Yeah, be that person.
Anyone who's ever worked in the service industry knows it can get monotonous, so getting a
request to make something different isn't always a bad thing.
But, again: Be clear when you order.
There are limits, though.
Baristas won't blend any brownies, cookies, or cakes into your drink, not even this guy.
"I'm an artist, and coffee is my canvas.
It can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be."
There are a few practical reasons for the "No Food" rule: For one, it can potentially
muck up equipment.
Clean-up is also a time-consuming mess.
Then there's the matter of allergies.
After all, one customer's dream frappuccino can easily become another customer's visit
to the ER.
Another reason Starbucks won't mix food into your beverage?
Well, it's unfair to the next person in line, who would have to wait for baristas to clean
up the aftermath.
Even if your order is specific, making a special drink takes longer to make than a menu item,
so don't get too crazy during rush times.
You might not mind waiting 10 minutes for your extra-special drink, but it will drive
the person in line behind you totally nuts.
"Keep on messing with me, see what happens, I was trying to look out for, why you getting
close, b—--, why, why you getting close"
"Tanya!"
"What?!"
"Tanya!
This is a cup of coffee!"