- My hair's a little 80's today, isn't it?
There's a book somewhere that I would like to find.
And written in it, is my correct life.
Written in it are all the things
that I should do, and should have done,
the correct path for me.
It's not even really like a storybook,
it's not a narrative, it's more like a math book.
In the sense of my perfect life is analytics-driven.
So this book would have, for instance,
my perfect job, perfect town for me to live in.
The perfect partner, perfect hobbies to do on the weekend,
and so on and so forth.
And it would all be driven by the data, of who I am
and then all the other variables of the world,
and the book would just be able to line it all up.
Maybe a book is too archaic.
Maybe it really should just be like a computer program,
you know what I'm saying?
But, the book is a much better image,
and so we're gonna stick with that.
But of course, the book is withheld from me.
I can't get ahold of it, I can't look into it.
Yet it's there.
The perfect wife is there, written in the book
that I'll never get a chance to look at.
So, I am left to muddle through life on my own,
not knowing what's going on in the book.
And when I make decisions, more like big decisions,
not like what am I gonna have for lunch.
But you know, the big ones.
I always think about this book, and I'm like man,
I feel like, I feel like I'm not choosing the correct thing,
I wish I could just look in that frickin' book
and I would know.
Is this correct, is this not correct?
And sometimes, it's like in my mind,
I'm crossing metaphors here, just bear with me.
I feel like I can hear the T.V. audience groaning,
as I choose the prize behind door A.
Because they've been told, with a voiceover I can't hear,
or with some words on the screen that I can't see,
that the better prize is behind door B.
And I didn't know, and here I am, stupidly,
it's like this dramatic irony.
Where somewhere, it is known what the right thing to do is.
And here I am, doing the wrong thing.
And I kind of have this ache to get my hands on this book,
and it is one of my fears.
That one day I will get ahold of this book,
but it will be too late.
And I'll be able to look through it.
This is very real to me.
I wanna stop for a second,
and say I'm not just spouting poetical nonsense.
This book is very real to me.
And I feel like one day I'm gonna get,
and I'm gonna look through it,
and I'm gonna be like whoa.
All the stuff that did wrong, why didn't I see that?
It's so obvious in retrospect, what an idiot I was!
What the frick?
It will be then, when I look in this book,
that my deepest flaws will be brought out in stark relief,
and I will see how many of my decisions
were clouded by fear.
And how many choices, how many pathways I couldn't even see,
because of fear.
I feel like fear is the biggest one.
And it will be like this tragic moment
of leafing through the book.
And seeing like oh man, I was wrong at every turn.
Oh man.
Maybe I'll get a thing or two right, I don't know.
Who knows, maybe several things right.
But just my mind, I catastrophize everything,
I will have gotten nothing right,
in my vision of when I get ahold of this book.
Now the killer here, is that I feel like
a lot of people somehow have access to their book,
the book that is showing them all the correct things
to do in their life, all the analytics,
of what is the best move to make here.
A lot of people seem to have their book.
Why don't I have mine, it ain't fair.
These other people, they just seem to know.
They just know.
And, it's like I was, it's like I bought a thing,
I can't think of a specific,
I bought a car that didn't come with an owner's manual.
And everyone else has their owner's manual.
So I don't know how to use half the features in the car.
So I sit here like a clueless ninny, without my book.
And here's a dangerous thing.
Is that sometimes, I feel like other people
know parts of my book, maybe whether they know
it's my book or not.
And I think, oh maybe it's some kind of spiritual thing.
That I'm getting the pieces from other people.
And so it makes me really apt to listen to people
who seem to, who put on a presentation
as though they know the path I should take.
It's dangerous, because I listen too much.
I feel like, when someone else says hey man,
I think you should really do that, I'll probably do it.
Because, I want the book so much,
that I'll just jump to the conclusion
that someone else has read it, has read my book,
because it want it so badly.
And sometimes it seems like people are right.
Oh great, you picked the right decision for me.
You somehow knew the analytics.
And there is something to this,
because part of knowing the analytics,
part of seeing the data correctly and clearly,
is about seeing yourself.
And I feel like a lot of us don't really see ourselves
very well, including me.
I feel like no one does, very few people do.
But other people can see you,
and they can see the outside world.
And they can see how the numbers match up,
you know what I'm saying?
So to a degree, other people will have
some just natural ability to kinda guess
what's in your book.
But then there are other people who don't know jack diddly.
They don't know what the frick is going on.
They're gonna tell you, they're gonna try to tell you,
or try to tell me, what's in the book
for each of our lives.
And they don't know what they're talking about.
But, if you're like me, you're gonna be so desperate,
so thirsty for some knowledge from that book
that you'll just believe what anyone.
If anyone seems like they know what they're talking about,
in regards to what you should do, you'll do it.
And I hold out hope that I will one day, somehow,
as I said get access to this, maybe through,
I'm probably not gonna find a physical book.
But you know, some kind of mental thing,
some spiritual premonition.
Or I'll look up in the clouds, and it'll be written there.
Something like that.
But, yeah.
Because if you had that, if you had access to this book
that told you every decision to make,
and it was like the correct decision, life would be so good.
It'd be so much better.
Some people are like oh no, I wouldn't want to do that,
you'd be locked into all this stuff.
Where's the free will, you know?
I don't care, I would sacrifice the free will,
if you could tell me what was correct.
Why would you want free will at that point, you know?
It would really be nice if I just had a life manager,
or a life director who was just like yeah, do this.
Like a manager for a baseball team,
if I had that for my life.
And for those of you who don't know,
analytics are big in baseball.
Baseball managers, they're seeing how does this hitter
do against this pitcher?
All right, let's mix and match.
Let's put in this pinch hitter now,
because he hits this pitcher really well.
It's all about the numbers.
So if I had a manager like that,
who could look at my life in that way,
and then just call all the decisions for me.
Yeah, I'll go up to bat.
Metaphorically.
I'll throw in an inning of work, why not?
Get me up in the bullpen.
But I don't wanna be the one to make the decision.
I want someone else to do it, is what I'm trying to say.
But, of course...
Reality check.
There is no book, as real as it seems to me.
And I'm not just putting on an act or scene,
it's very real to me, but it's not real.
It doesn't exist.
There is no right path, there is no correct path to go down.
So there is no guide.
Once that realization, to be like dude,
that's not real, the book isn't real.
It's at once freeing, and frightening.
So, it's frightening because, well.
It means the responsibility
is squarely on my shoulders, to make a path.
The path isn't there, it's not like predetermined.
It's totally up to me.
It's a burden, in a way.
But, it is freeing.
Because, when there is no correct path,
that is hidden away from you,
some answer key that you'll get at the end of life.
What it means is, you can't make mistakes.
The path you go on is the correct one,
because it's the one that you lived.
And, it's very freeing to know
that in life, if I make mistakes, to my mind,
oh I chose the wrong path, things didn't turn out so well.
That it's not, in the grand scheme of things,
it's not a mistake.
It's just what I did.
And maybe it's what I had to do,
to just keep going down that path
and find something better.
It's a little bit of an optimistic ending there I know,
but, that's all there is to it.
Thanks for watching, smash like, subscribe.
Click another video over here.
'Till next time, stay cool and attractive.
(upbeat music)