what is happening to you when you're triggered stay tuned we have this fun
word that is used so often today the word triggered what does that really
mean do you ever get triggered what happens when you get triggered what does
it feel like who did this to you I think triggered is a very appropriate
word in our society today because everything is push-button
we push buttons on a phone on an iPad on a computer and it's all done for us so
triggered it's just like you pull that trigger and there I'm feeling something
I had a case of being triggered just recently I was working in my apartment
and there were some kids who were screaming their heads off not far from
where I lived and I was really wondering when their lungs and their windpipe and
their vocal cords were going to give out because I had never heard kids scream so
much and I just wondered like how does how did they keep that up how did they
do that so after a little while I started to get more and more irritated
and I thought they're probably gone going to stop at some point but they
didn't they kept going and so I did what any reasonable person would do and I
started to contemplate throwing a chair through the window and then I held back
and I thought hmm I'm gonna no pee guy so I should like know how to deal with
this right and so I reached into my NLP toolkit and yes sure enough I discovered
I knew how to deal with this what's happening here I'm being triggered no
I'm not being triggered this is my response because there is no universal
fact or scientific fact or scientific evidence that kids screaming will make
every living creature in proximity become irritated so I take
responsibility for the feeling that's the first part that's what I did first
it's my feeling it's not anyone or anything making me feel this so then I
asked myself well what is the positive intent of the response that I'm having
and it took me back that's what we call a trans derivational search it took me
back to a time when I was a kid and I was screaming my head off because I was
having a good time and then I got scolded by an adult that not to do that
it was bad or whatever it was whatever they told me and so there was this piece
of me that was irritated because I wanted to scream and it wasn't fair
because these other kids were screaming and they got to do it and they got to
have a good time but it would but I couldn't it's not fair it was really
interesting and I know this probably doesn't make a lot of sense but the
unconscious part of your minds often doesn't make much sense just examine
your dreams to know that that's true I mean dreams don't make any sense
whatsoever most of the time and that was the case with this very immature part of
me so when you discover something like that which you need to know is that that
part of you hasn't grown up it's been isolated alienated so it's time to grow
that part up and sometimes that part might need a resource like you might
need to give it a resource that it didn't have at the time that you were
experiencing that so I grew that part of me up and I didn't throw a chair through
the window and logically I just went outside outside of my apartment and just
screamed my head off along with the kids of course and my neighbors they looked
at me strangely but you know it's Santa Cruz we like to keep it weird here so
anyway if you find yourself being triggered just take a moment acknowledge
that this is you having this response and ask yourself is this response useful
most of the time it's not sometimes it might actually be a useful response or
it might be a somewhat useful response and it might need to just be updated or
modified so check in with that first for me throwing a chair through the window
or being triggered and was not a useful response at all
so I decided right away that it's not a good idea to be triggered I
don't want to be triggered anymore I want to do something different and
that's whenever I went in search of the positive intent you want to know what
the positive intent is because you don't want to necessarily just get rid of
behavior or get rid of being triggered without understanding why you were being
triggered to begin with and an NLP we say all behavior emanates or originates
from a positive intent in fact I would recommend that you find three or more
behaviors that could adequately realistically Express that same positive
intent and in this case I was able to then accept my feelings about the not
did not being fair with the kids and everything was okay and hasn't been
a problem since and that's the whole idea behind this
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