Hello there, welcome to this latest video
here on Evercoach, and today
we are talking about something that I think is
very important as a conversation to have for us as coaches.
And it's also an important conversation
between us and our clients.
And that is how do we coach ourselves
out of anxiety?
What are some tools and techniques and tricks
that we can use.
So we can get outside of this anxiety loop
that we seem to all live in all the time.
And I'm saying this as somebody,
who's struggled with anxiety in the past,
and I still do struggle with it
very often, very frequently.
And one may think that you seem like a really present guy.
You seem like you have all the coaching tools.
You seem like you have everything figured out
how come you are anxious.
And that is why I think
this video is so very important is because
I think all of us in one way or another
get into
this habit of being anxious,
because we reward ourselves with some things,
as we are feeling anxious.
Let me share with you some research around
how anxiety happens for us
and also how it affected my life.
And it continues to affect my life sometimes.
And sometimes I'm able to coach myself out of it.
I'm going to give you the tools and techniques
that I've used for myself and for my clients
to get them outside of the anxiety loop.
So firstly let's understand how anxiety happens.
Anxiety happens pretty much like a habit loop happens.
A habit loop is where there's a particular trigger
that creates a behavior or the habit that you have.
And that habit leads to,
or behavior leads to some kind of reward.
And because of the reward,
you continue to do that habit again and again, and again.
And anxiety is kind of like a habit loop.
You get anxious because of something that happens
and you have the behavior, which is anxiety,
and then you reward yourself with something.
For example, it could be a binge eating.
It could be something like watching Netflix.
It could be something like any addictive behavior
or habit behavior
that you may repeat because you're feeling anxious.
My anxiety loop was actually giving me a reward
that I thought was very, very good for me.
So for example,
when we would have some kind of launch or promotion
happening in one of my businesses,
I would get really anxious and I'll be like, oh,
and there are launches coming in.
So, I have to be like doing this and doing that.
And that would get me really, really anxious.
And it had a really good consequence on the surface because
as I would get anxious, what would I do?
I would get highly productive.
I'll get to work.
I'll be like, all right, it's happening.
Let's go to work. Like let's go to town,
let's work 10 hours, 12 hours, 14 hours,
because I don't want to feel anxious
and want to get the outcome that I want,
which is a successful launch.
And so every single time as we got into launches,
I started working 8, 10 hours and I was using anxiety
as a way to get more productive.
But here's the thing.
Yes, on the surface, it seems like
I was getting productive,
but within myself,
I could see I was eating more garbage food because I thought
10, 12 hours of work.
You got to do that.
I was drinking too much caffeine.
I wasn't taking care of my health.
I wasn't investing time in my relationships,
basically everything else, except the productivity of work
was something that was taking a toll on my body
or on my relationships.
So while it may seem on the surface,
the anxiety was being helpful.
It was actually being hurtful.
If you look at the whole scope of my life
and ignore just one element that was working out for it.
And that is true for all of us,
anxiety shows up sometimes as a positive behavior because it
triggers us to do certain things.
And so we feel like it's a good thing.
But what we have to look at
is what is it doing to the other parts of our life
to really holistically understand the impact of anxiety.
Most of us experienced anxiety in some way or
another on a daily basis.
Now some of the anxiety patterns are okay to have their
small short. They don't really impact your life that much,
but a lot of the anxiety patterns actually are becoming
recurring themes and are becoming a big concern
because it constantly takes toll on our body.
Anxiety, Like any other emotion
takes a toll on our body, If not regulated.
we are going to diagnose what anxiety is,
how it's caused for you and for your coaching clients.
And we're going to also work through strategies on how to
get past those anxious behaviors for you as a life coach,
as a business coach, as a health coach,
and also to help your clients to get out of their own health
concerns and their life concerns and business concerns and
break the anxiety loop.
The first step to help your coaching clients get over
anxiety is to help them identify
how and when do they get anxious.
bringing awareness towards what triggers anxiety
is the key to working on that trigger to working on
why is it that, we are getting more and more anxious?
Or how is it, or why is it that we are living constantly
in a state of anxiety?
So step one is to ask your client,
what triggers anxiety?
What is it that happens in or around your life
where after that happens, you feel anxious.
Is it when you load up Instagram?
Is it when you compare yourself to a colleague?
Is it when you look at yourself in the mirror,
is it when you attend a particular kind of event,
what is that trigger event
that causes anxiety show up as a behavior?
Once you've identified the trigger,
the second step would be your behavior is anxiety,
of course, but what is the reward for feeling anxious?
You see, we build habits for ourselves
that create particular rewards.
Our mind thinks this is a good thing that's happening.
Let's do more of this.
Let me give you some examples of anxious behaviors,
that may feel like really good for you,
right? Or feel comfortable for your
feel good for your brain and for your mind, right?
For example,
if you feel anxious and like me start feeling productive,
you associate good outcomes to anxiety and hence,
You invite where anxiety in your life
and you hold it in your body because you're like,
oh, every time I feel anxious, I can be more productive.
It may be that as you get anxious,
you take it off of ice cream and you start watching
something on Netflix or Hulu or whatever was the preferred
network that you have.
You may think it is a bad behavior,
but what you're really doing is comforting your nervous
system and your nervous system, your brain goes, oh,
that's comfortable. That's good.
Let's have anxiety come in again, because this is a reward.
You may feel that when you are feeling anxious,
you procrastinate,
guess what your body is thinking.
Guess what your mind is thinking?
Well, this is comfortable.
We get to procrastinate. We get a slouch out on the couch,
get comfortable and just, you know,
scroll on the inter webs and get lost in
different YouTube channels or,
or different Instagram videos or whatever that is. Right.
And that is a reward. So ask yourself and ask your clients,
your coaching clients as to what is it,
that is the reward.
that happens as the behavior for anxiety kicks in.
There is something that we do that makes us feel
comfortable, makes us feel productive, makes us feel good.
And that is why we keep the behavior anxiety going.
So ask yourself that question
and ask your clients that question.
Because as you ask those questions to your coaching clients,
to, into yourself, as a coach,
you will discover why you're keeping the behavior.
That brings me to the third question.
That brings awareness towards what is happening in the
anxiety loop.
And that is, are there any past events
that have informed these triggers?
You see, the trigger that I talked about
when there was a launch that is happening.
I get anxious to get productive was informed by my past
programming of saying, I need to be productive.
I need to be present when the launch is happening.
Because if I'm not on the ball, it's going to bomb.
It happened because of some launches
that didn't work out in my life and my early career,
where if I wasn't present the launch, didn't workout.
That was a past programming,
that instead of creating a learning experience for me
created a behavior for me, right?
Because the learning experience I should have taken from
it is I can organize myself well ahead of advance.
And so I have not had a negative experience during launch.
Instead of that, it created a behavior of saying,
get anxious, get productive work 10, 12 hour days, right?
So you identify what are these past events,
so you can work through them.
Now, all the first three questions are really there.
So now you're informed about what triggers anxiety
and what's the reward for anxiety, right?
Because once we understand the trigger and reward,
now we can work through
how to avoid the triggers or manage the triggers
or expect anxiety when those triggers are happening.
And also to reprogram that reward
for a different kind of emotional experience.
So now we have awareness towards
the trigger and reward of anxiety.
Now let's talk about how to break this anxiety loop,
how to create a new behavior,
a new emotion that is more exciting and relevant and
powerful then the behavior for anxiety, right?
So let's see how that would happen.
The first step to that is the awareness,
which we've already taken care of.
When you answer the first three questions
that we talked about in this video,
you would have an awareness towards your anxiety
as to what is triggering it.
What's the reward that I get every single time
this gets triggered?
If there is something,
that already has highlighted for you
that you want to share in the comment section below
that you've seen your clients respond to
based on the triggers and based on the reward,
I invite you to share that in the comment section below,
it will be amazing to kind of hear
your journey as you're watching this video, right?
So firstly is awareness, Once you have the awareness
the second step to break the anxiety loop
is the step that you always take,
When emotions run high.
you see,
when any emotion gets triggered in our life and our body,
we are owned by those emotions,
nothing wrong with that. Emotions are great signals of life.
But when we respond from the emotions,
we are giving an emotional response,
which often in the long-term
is not the right response to give.
I'm not saying always that is the case, but very often,
especially when the emotion is not a positive one,
like anxiety,
your response is often counterproductive
to your overall life.
And so the first thing that you do
when there's an overarching emotion that
you often make wrong decisions in like anger and anxiety,
you want to calm down your nervous system and
quiet your mind.
So the first thing that you want to do
is once the awareness has come to, oh,
I'm feeling anxious right now
is to give yourself time and space,
and opportunity to calm down.
Now, how do you calm down?
There's some very simple ways to do it.
First is breathe,
take 10, 20 deep breaths.
And hopefully within that time period,
your anxiety would have calmed down
and your rational self would have taken over.
Secondly is you can take a walk into nature.
As you walk in the nature,
your nervous system comes down
and your rational mind takes over.
And that allows you to really manage and understand that
this is where I am in the anxiety loop.
And what is it that I need to do to check and balance that.
meditation is a great way to calm your nervous system down.
Listening to hypnotic tracks is a great way
to calm your nervous system down.
Listening to quietening,
calming music is a great way
to calm your nervous system down.
Creating movement in your body is a great way to shake out
the emotion that you may be experiencing
and to quiet your system down.
So all of these different ways,
you can quiet the system down.
So, you can come from a more rational place.
So, the moment awareness strikes, and you're like, oh,
I am in an anxiety loop because this triggered this reward.
I'm in an anxiety loop, bring your attention towards
okay, I'm in an anxiety loop.
How can I calm my nervous system down?
Calm your nervous system down.
As my nervous system is coming down, step three,
to break the anxiety loop
and to work with your coaching client,
to help them and coach them through is to ask them
now that your nervous system is calmed down,
what is the true reward that you really seek
in this particular trigger? Right?
So for example, trigger is launch is happening,
anxiety, high productivity.
What is the reward that you truly want?
Do you want high productivity working 10, 12, 14 hours days,
or you want that when a launch is happening,
you're calm and composed
and there is acceptance towards
whatever the world is going to resonate
with or not resonate with, It is okay.
If that is the response that you want.
Well, that is the reward you're setting up for.
And now you ask yourself the question, okay,
what is the behavior that gets me that reward?
For example, one of the things that I actually find that
when I am in a launch mode,
vibrationally if I am high.
If I am energetic, if I am accepting the world is,
and I'm accepting that I've created a great product
and people will appreciate it,
and would want to take me on.
if it is right for them at the right time,
I want to be in that vibrational energy.
I realized if I want to create that rewarded,
that sort of word that I want.
I actually find it more empowering
that instead of working 14 hour days,
I actually work less during a launch time
and give myself more space
to be in the vibration of the results that I want.
I know it may sound a little meta metaphysical and more
spiritual, but that's the energy I want to live in.
That's the reward that I would like.
I would like to know that the universe has my back
and I want to live in the energy off
that whatever's the right decision for the client.
They will make that decision based on the great effort
that I made in creating the product.
I don't want to be anxious.
I want to be in a state of joy.
And so, consciously because that's the reward that I want.
I asked myself, which is step number four.
I said, how can I be in that vibration?
How can I be in the vibration of acceptance of knowing that
when I'm doing a launch,
that the right person's going to show up for it,
the right clients will sign up for it.
How will I be in that vibration?
And I said, well, that will be,
if my energy levels are high,
if I'm feeling elated, if I am joyous,
and those are the emotions that I want to feel
for me to have this kind of reward.
So if I want to be in that vibrational energy of acceptance
and love, and that right client is going to say, yes,
what is it? That is the behavior,
I would like to have to maintain such energy levels.
I said, well, when I am in launch,
I really like to at least spend an hour a day
because that uplifts my energy, I feel more elated.
I feel uplifted. And so, yes,
that's one thing I would like to do.
I would like to dedicate at least an hour in the nature walk
because I am in connection with the universe.
And I feel like I'm connected to my clients
when I'm doing that.
So, I love to do that.
So, let's schedule that in and say, okay,
that's the behavior we want.
I would like to work maybe one or two hours just to make
sure if everything is okay or not.
So I've given the energy that I need to,
for my team to feel supported.
But at the same point in time,
I would like my team to run the show.
And so my behavior based on the reward that I want
is completely different to what it would be
if I would stay in the anxiety loop, right?
So I'm identifying a new behavior
I want to do so I can feel the reward,
which is of calm and comfort and joy and elatedness and
so forth while I am in a lot. So I don't want to be anxious.
I don't want to be concerned.
I want only the right people to sign up
and so on and so forth. Right?
So ask yourself, ask your clients,
hey, based on the reward that you want,
what is the behavior that should happen?
So you get the reward that you want
based on the trigger that you're getting, right?
So you're almost mapping a new habit loop for yourself.
The previous habit loop was launch anxiety,
work a lot of hours. right? Now, That was my old pattern,
My old habit loop, my new habit loop, launch, joy,
acceptance, energy workout, take a walk,
work an hour right now that I know, okay,
this is my current loop. This is what I default to, right.
Or this was what I defaulted to.
And this is my new loop that I want to follow.
Now, step five to eight is to say for 60 or 90 days,
the moment my awareness comes to my trigger.
I will consciously choose this habit loop.
Even if my default is trying to take over,
I will consciously go, oh, I'm aware I'm in launch mode.
I need to consciously create space to take a walk,
go workout, only work one to two hours.
So I can feel the joy and connectedness to my clients,
right? Because that's the reward I want.
Right?
And because I followed this consciously and awareness wise,
I'm going to get, Hey, let me remind myself.
This is the loop I want to follow.
Right? And because I do it for 60 to 90 days,
I have rewired my brain to now default myself into saying,
oh, it's lifetime. This is the time,
where we get to have all the funds.
We work for a few hours,
but mostly we are keeping our vibration levels high.
So our clients are all excited to enroll with us in the
right partner so are gonna so up,
and they're going to enroll
if this is the right program for them.
And so, now I have a completely different habit loop.
I don't get triggered anxiety in this scenario
of launches because I do a lot of launches.
I have a lot of programs that we have on evercoach platform.
And I have many businesses as well. So,
for me, it's important that I had this loop
versus the loop that kept me in a constant state of anxiety.
So, you need to ask yourself
and you need to ask your coaching clients.
You need to ask yourself as a coach
as to what are the triggers
and how can you bring awareness to these triggers?
So you can start creating new loops around them,
which are more fulfilling, more joyous,
and more present for you. And more,
more in alignment with who you truly are.
So you can create these new patterns and new loops
now know that there's nothing wrong with your old loops.
That's just how you are unconsciously creating them.
And that is a part of your life.
And that is a learning experience you had.
But as a coach, we know
that you want to grow and evolve from that learning
experience to a new learning experience,
which is why I invite you to ask yourself
how to break this anxiety loop that you have,
or may have in different areas of your life to
create new habit loops that will help you
live a more optimized, more aligned life with yourself.
Which part of this video really resonated with you
share with me in the comment section below.
I'm sure you enjoyed this video.
So, don't forget to hit that like button
and share it with someone
that you feel is stuck in the anxiety loop as well.
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Thank you so much for watching.
This is Ajit Nawalkha and you're watching this on Evercoach.