Craig!
Welcome to the Christmas Midnight Gameshow!
Woohoo!
Merry Christmas!
Oh, God! Oh, no!
Merry Christmas, Craig!
It's the Christmas Midnight Gameshow!
How wonderful... You have Jonathan to thank for this.
Hi, Jonathan. Merry Christmas. How are you? Nice to meet you.
Nice to see you. I'll kill you. This is my Christmas Midnight Gameshow.
The bedside clock is ticking.
If you'd like to sit up, I'm going to ask you a series of questions.
How are you feeling? I'll get you back for this.
OK. Well, first, here comes a cracker.
Many elves are helping us tonight.
So, Craig, merry Christmas.
Oh! You've won.
I think the important thing is we put on our hats. What time is it?
It's 1.25 in the morning. This is surreal.
OK, right, we're now going to play a super-fun game
called Ghosts Of Strictly Past.
Oh, God.
This is a ghost from Strictly Past.
I am going to give you some clues. Thank you.
In week three, you were left unimpressed by this ghost's jive.
That could be most of the nation, darling. OK.
Any memories coming flooding back...
No. ..from this ghost?
Not a clue. Not a clue.
I'm going to tell you one of the remarks you made about this
ghost of Strictly Past.
You said this ghost's salsa was
"like Bonnie Langford being chased by a barking Dalmatian."
LAUGHTER
Whoever that is is going to kill me.
So that's how you described this ghost. Who does that remind you of?
There's no way that Anita Dobson would be in my bedroom at this
ungodly hour. Let's find out. She wouldn't put herself through it.
Oh!
EASTENDERS THEME PLAYS
Oh, my God! Darling!
How exciting!
What a lovely Christmassy moment.
LAUGHTER
Merry Christmas.
OK, Anita, that was amazing.
Anita, you can stay for this.
But you mustn't give any clues. No.
We're now going to bring in the next ghost from Strictly Past.
You were left cold by this ghost's salsa.
So let's remind you.
How would you describe this salsa?
Not very good.
I can't see the hip action through all that costuming.
Is there any way you can turn around and give us some hip action?
LAUGHTER
You saw a bit of hip action there.
Got the shimmy... I can tell you, when this ghost was eliminated,
you actually voted to save them over Charles Venn. Oh, no!
It's not Dr Ranj! Is it? I love Dr Ranj!
Yeah!
In goes the doctor!
Right, we're now going to move to your third ghost.
I can tell you that you were very dissatisfied with this
ghost's cha-cha-cha.
Let's have a reminder.
GIGGLING
LAUGHTER
Oh, dear.
On Movie Week you said that this ghost's performance was reminiscent
of a lobster on acid.
LAUGHTER
A lobster on acid.
Are we closer to identifying ghost number three?
Does this person work in radio? Would you like to hazard a guess?
Madame Mills, darling. Madame Mills.
Yeah!
It's Millsy!
Well, thank you very much, our ghosts from Strictly Past.
Thank you.
Now, Christmas would not be Christmas without a little
bit of pantomime.
Please welcome... Well, who's this?
Oh, my God.
LAUGHING: He can't get through the door!
Darling!
LAUGHTER
You look fabulous!
LAUGHTER
Do you know what time it is?!
Darling, we do know what time it is but isn't it thrilling?
What a gorgeous bedroom! Careful of the feathered lamp.
Oh, I'm sorry, is the lampshade all right?
LAUGHTER
Mind the incredibly flammable light fixture.
OK. Biggins is dressed, of course, as Widow Twankey. Twankey. Right.
Now, Widow Twankey is going to read a series of statements
and all you have to do is answer with either "Oh, yes, he is,"
or "Oh, no, he isn't." It's as simple as that.
Ready? We are. Marvellous.
Michael Buble is the biggest-selling Christmas artist of all time.
Oh, no, he isn't.
You're absolutely right.
One out of one.
Paul O'Grady is starring in Goldilocks And The Three Bears panto
at the London Palladium this year.
Oh...no, he isn't.
Oh, yes, he is!
Get Paul on the phone for me. He'll be furious.
I'm very busy with my own panto, darling. You know what it's like.
Here we go. The third question.
Bruno Tonioli is the Strictly Come Dancing head judge.
Oh, no, he isn't.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the legendary Christopher Biggins!
Let's enjoy him trying to get out of the door.
You better give him a glass of champagne, darling.
Oh, thank you, darling.
All these people are downstairs.
So, Santa is actually going to bring in a present.
It's another...
..identification.
What's going to happen here
is I'm going to ask you some questions
and the more questions you answer, the more I will unwrap of this.
Complete the title of the following TV show.
The Blank Buds Of May. The Something.
The Darling. Now, for that,
I'm going to unwrap some of your present.
There you go. Oh, there we go.
Have a good look.
I'm thinking this person is definitely a dancer. Not a penguin?
No, because they have good turnout. Male or female?
I'd say that's a lady.
Let's move on to the next question. In the famous children's story
Peter Pan, what is the surname of Wendy, John and Michael?
I should know this, I've done that show!
I do know this.
Um...
LAUGHTER
Darling.
LAUGHTER
For that I'm going to remove...
Oh, what's happening here?
It could be a woman dressed as a man.
It could be a slender man or a narrow-hipped woman. Interesting.
But you're not prepared to make a guess at this point? No.
Well, no.
OK, next question.
The Labour politician who served as Chancellor of the Exchequer
between 2007 and 2010 was called Alistair...?
Darling.
LAUGHTER
You've got that right.
It's a man.
That is a definite man hand.
You're Australian, aren't you? Born in Australia? Born in Australia.
So this should be easy for you. Ha!
What is the capital of the Northern Territory of Australia?
Uh...Darwin.
LAUGHTER
OK. For that, you're going to get another...
Two male hands!
They're matching, at least. Let's go through...
We've got two male hands and two female... Female feet.
LAUGHTER
Who do you know that has the feet of a lady but the hands of a man?
LAUGHTER
I haven't got a clue. OK.
Which Indian city, located near the Himalayas,
is noted for its exceptional tea?
Darjing.
LAUGHTER
Darjeeling. Darjeeling. That's it.
That is the correct answer.
For that... Oh, look at this.
It's now getting very close. Oh, yes. It's becoming clearer.
You know who it is?
Is it Anton du Beke? Oh, my goodness.
Is it ever! Darling!
APPLAUSE
How are you doing?
I'm a snaky-hipped woman with dainty feet and manly hands.
I'm so sorry, darling. You're beautiful!
You're beautiful. Thank you very much, Anton du Beke!
And thank you very much. Goodnight!
I think that's over. What do you mean, it's over?
Well...merry Christmas. Thanks very much.
Look at this mess! I've just had these laundered as well.
LAUGHTER
That was unbelievable.
I mean, they haven't seriously just left, have they?
Worse than that - Christopher Biggins is here as well!
LAUGHTER
That's much worse. That's a nightmare.
Merry Christmas. Thank you.