- Heya playa.
Today I want to share another story with you
all about how I messed up with a girl
simply because I didn't make the move
when I had the opportunity.
It wasn't just for one class.
This went on for an entire year.
Had I had the confidence then and knew what to do,
I could have made something out of it.
So here's my story all about how
I think I chased a girl for a year,
when in reality, I didn't do anything.
(inspirational music)
I want to take you back to my sophomore year of college.
By this point, I was already making the necessary changes
in my schedule and I was just finishing up all the classes
they kinda make you take in the beginning.
Since I had to take science class,
I decided to take Earth Science 101,
and this class had a pretty weird and quirky teacher.
He would say things like,
"Boy, it feels good to be teaching young minds like yours."
It was weird, but it didn't really bother me that much
because where my attention was focused for that semester
was directly on the girl in front of me.
For some of these classes,
they were in these gigantic lecture halls with
hundreds of people,
and the girl that was sitting only a few rows in front of me
every single time class met was-
As far as looks,
she hit every single point that I was looking for.
The main problem was that she sat all the way up there
and I sat way behind her.
You don't have assigned seatings in these big lecture halls,
but people tend to gravitate towards a specific seat
or an area of seats that they generally sit in
every single time they go to class.
Every single Monday and Wednesday when class met,
this girl would sit a few rows in front of me,
and I would just sit there and go-
A lot of times it was looking at the back of her head,
but then sometimes she would sit at a little bit of an angle
and I would just stare at her face as she sat there,
playing with her pencil looking forward.
I wanted to talk to her,
but I just couldn't bring myself to do it for some reason.
I felt like there was so much distance
and I couldn't really think of the right time.
Do I talk to her before the lecture?
Do I talk to her after?
Do I just go sit with her?
What do I do?
There was no clear answer for me.
What ended up happening was I became content
with the simple idea that I was here and she was there
and we were probably never going to interact.
For most of the semester,
I had these physical bottled up feelings for her,
but I just accepted that I probably was never
going to do anything with them.
That was until the middle of the semester
when the teacher told us that he wanted to take us out
to observe the world around us.
It was sort of like a voluntary Magic School Bus
walking around the campus field trip that I went on
and a bunch of other people went on, including this girl.
There was about ten of us in total
and we were all walking together,
which presented the perfect opportunity for me
to walk alongside her and say, "Hey, my name is Josh."
I didn't.
Instead, I made eye contact with her several times
throughout that walk,
but never actually said hi to her.
I just kept assuming that she didn't want to be
talked to or disturbed
and that if I started a conversation,
I wouldn't know where to take it,
so I just kind of left it alone.
Meanwhile, my teacher took all of us over to an area
with dirt and trees, picked up some of the dirt,
and started to smell it.
As he's smelling that dirt he's going,
(sniffs)
"It feels good to smell our home, ya know.
Right here lies all of our brothers and sisters
and we're all gonna join them one day in the dirt."
I get it, but it's just weird to say stuff like that.
That walk went nowhere between me and the girl.
She had talked to a few of the other people as did I,
but we never really interacted.
The semester ended and I thought, okay cool.
Girl's outta my life, onto the next one to crush on.
Right?
After winter break, when I took math the next semester,
sure enough, this girl was in my class once again.
She sat in the same general area and so did I.
Once again, a few rows behind her,
and not close enough to speak.
This time around, things were a little different though.
At the very beginning of the semester
when people were starting to come into class,
this guy decided to walk all the way up to the front
and sit right next to her.
He turned to her, introduced himself,
and started to ask her questions like,
"What classes are you taking?
Are you excited about this one?
Have you ever taken a math class before?"
I just thought to myself, those are good things.
That is probably what I should be doing.
Since this guy established rapport with her
right in the beginning,
every single time he went to class,
he would come over and sit right next to her.
It was totally normal and she wasn't weirded out by it.
Because he introduced himself in the beginning
when both of them had no prior knowledge
and were just starting,
it made it a whole lot easier to start a connection
where they would grow together,
rather than him coming in later on.
I didn't take this route.
Instead, I took a route that I tell you guys
not to do all of the time.
I ended up finding her on Facebook
and decided to add her as a friend.
When she accepted my friend request back,
I went through all of her pictures
and just looked at them, all day.
Not all day, just a quarter of the day.
Half the day.
The whole day.
Once she had accepted my friend request,
I decided to then message her.
I said, "Hey," and just sat there, waiting for a response.
That first response never came,
so what I did was a few weeks later,
I said "Hey" again.
This time around she responded back with, "Hey."
Now I didn't know what to do.
I felt awkward and didn't know what to do
because I had never talked to her in person
so after sending that message and having her respond,
I didn't know where to take it.
Even after that, when I would see her in class
as we were both entering the lecture hall,
we would make eye contact,
and I still wouldn't say hi.
And yet every single time in class when she would sit down,
this guy would come sit right next to her.
They would joke, they would talk,
and they would just have a good time together.
Sure enough, this class was a little bit more challenging,
so the teaching assistant decided to offer office hours
to anyone that wanted to get
a little bit more help for the class.
I decided to start going on Wednesdays,
and once again, it was a small group.
A small group that once again, included this girl.
We would see each other there,
and yet neither one of us would say hi to one another.
I think she was waiting for me to introduce myself
since I was the one that added her on Facebook
and tried to start the conversation.
Each office hours meeting was exactly the same.
I would see her, she would see me,
nothing would happen,
and we would talk to the TA to try to learn more about math.
That kept going on until I noticed one little thing
had changed about her in class.
They had started that semester by first meeting each other.
They would talk and they would
joke every single time class met.
Eventually, he walked in with her,
with his arm around her and when they sat down,
he kissed her, which made me think
maybe they were going out.
Now with me sitting a few rows behind her,
I couldn't just stare off into space
and think about how beautiful she was,
I now had to watch the two of them together.
I knew that I had missed the opportunity,
but I didn't really know how or why.
It took me time to really reevaluate my steps
and to see that.
That's why I'm hoping my story here
will help give you a fast track pass to recognize
whether or not you're on the same ride that I was.
If you're too scared to talk to your crush,
even though you see them from time to time
and you're thinking
that messaging online is the best strategy,
learn from my mistakes.
What do you think, though?
If you have the confidence that you wanted
and you can step into any part of that story,
when do you think it makes the most sense
to finally go talk to her?
Remember guys, I'm just like you.
I make tons of mistakes.
Clearly I've done a lot in the past as well,
but every single time is a learning experience for me.
Hopefully every time you feel like you messup,
it can be a learning experience for you, too.
As always guys, love and peace.