- Do I have to spray this man?
Is a thought that comes into my head
so many times daily, you'd be surprised.
- Daily?
(fun music)
I'm Nate.
- And I'm Destiny.
- How many dates have we been on?
- In life (laughing).
- Yeah.
What do you define as a date?
- I think like us going out and doing an activity together.
- I'd probably say like, probably like 50 then.
Yeah, something like that.
- Wow.
- Is that a lot?
- Nate gets out.
I think I've been on maybe, like date dates,
maybe like 25 dates.
I think maybe less, honestly,
now that I'm thinking about it probably 15.
(jazz music)
- I'm only gonna drink when you drink.
(laughing)
- This is gonna be fun.
How do you ask someone out on a date?
- I personally ask them out very directly.
I say, hey, you seem really nice,
I'd like to get to know you more.
Are you available at this time for this activity?
- Wow. - Yeah.
'Cause then it's like it's a yes or a no.
- Good for you.
- Yeah.
- You know, not a lot of men do that anymore nowaday.
- I learned that the hard way.
I'm just like, that's probably best.
- Yeah, that is best.
- Yeah, what about you,
how do you ask somebody out on a date?
- I don't.
- You don't?
What do you do if you like somebody?
You just send vibes out?
- I just yeah, I send vibes out
and hope that they ask me.
- You just radiate attraction.
- Thirst, I believe is (laughing) what it's called.
I must.
Maybe I should be more direct, wow.
- What is your ideal first date?
- Hmm. - Yeah.
- That's tough.
I feel like it really depends on the person,
but I think that like for me,
I love like a drink or something quick,
because dinner is too long (laughing)
if things aren't well.
- I'm the same, I like something
that's a little bit more on the small end,
where like we're get like coffee,
kind of in like an outdoor cafe.
Or we'll like meet up at like a park real quick.
But something that has the potential
so like I can bail if it's like, this ain't gonna work out,
I wanna get out of here.
Or if it's going well, I'm like,
hey, do you wanna grab some lunch?
- Right, smart.
- Then you turn it into food.
- Turn in, rah.
I like that.
- But I like that bail factor.
I like to know I can escape.
- Same.
- [Producer] Have you bailed before?
- Totally.
I've so bailed.
You can always tell within like the first minute or two,
you're like this is gonna go well.
And then, sometimes, you're like this is gonna suck.
- What's your grooming routine?
- My grooming routine,
mine's probably the same for my daily life.
I probably like just pick it up a little bit extra,
but like - what do you do?
- Just like shower, shave.
- Brush your hair.
- Brush my hair.
I have dry shampoo now.
I do that now.
- It's pretty much the same.
I might do a little bit extra make-up
or like a extra touch of something,
curl my hair a little more.
I feel like a lot of women have a tendency
to like shave our legs
even though it's like no one's touching my legs.
It's like, probably don't have to do that.
- It doesn't take me long to get ready,
but I end up taking a long time to get ready.
As I'll be ready, and I'm like I'm good to go,
and then I'll look in the mirror
and I'm like, but do I like this shirt?
- Same, I think it takes me longer,
not because I'm doing anything different,
but because I'm like nervous,
or I'm stopping a lot to be like okay, what should I say,
or like how should we?
Like looking again.
It's a lot of like refixing or like what shoes?
Versus like
- Mixing and matching.
- Mixing and matching, all that.
- Yeah.
- Are you bringing anything to defend yourself
in case of a certain situation, ie pepper spray?
- Nah.
I've never been in a situation
where I've been physically threatened
and, I don't know, I think that's like
less common with guys.
- Yeah, how pleasant it must be to be a man.
- Sorry.
- I have pepper spray, I have a knife, I have a taser.
- You have a knife?
- I have everything you need.
I've been on dates where I've had to pull both out.
- Oh (beep).
- Yeah.
- Like knife in one hand, taser in the other hand.
- Ready.
I've never had anyone like in public try to do anything,
so it's like, that's fine,
but I always carry protection.
(upbeat music)
(laughing)
Now, I don't wanna drink,
'cause you're gonna drink every time I drink.
- We're just in this together.
- Mmhmm.
- What's your ideal arrival time?
- Ooh, I'm usually a little early
just so I can scout the place out,
look for my exits (laughing).
Parking, like all that kind of stuff.
So, maybe like 10 minutes early.
I'll be like oh, I grabbed a table, or like whatever.
- I am comically early to everything I do.
So, I usually get there, sometimes way too early,
and then I have to like sit or hide in my car
and then, come in, I just got here.
- Right. - Yeah.
- I've done that before.
- What is appropriate to eat on a date?
- You know, some women, I've heard women
like totally never wanna see a guy again
because of what he ordered at a bar, or ordered to eat,
and I'm like, I don't get that.
- Why?
- I don't know.
They're like he's a kid, he ordered chicken fingers.
And I'm like I probably
would have ordered chicken fingers, too.
I don't care what you eat.
Really, it's about how you eat it.
But that's a whole nother (laughing).
- He's got like ranch all over his face.
- Yeah, and I've been on dates like that
where I'm like are you trying to eat the plate, too?
Or like what's going on?
But when I go on dates, I mean,
and maybe this is very old-fashioned,
how it's like women get a light, a salad,
I usually get something kind of light,
just because like, mama loves some chicken wings,
but like, I'm not trying to be on a date
suckin' on a bone and like really going to town.
So on a date, especially the first date,
I try to be dainty.
- I love that, just like tell me about yourself (sucking).
I tend to match.
So, like I'll let whoever I'm goin' out with order first,
and then I'll go off of,
like if they get a salad, I'll try and get a salad.
- Oh.
- Just 'cause like if I'm
I'm gettin' this big ol' burger
and then they got like a salad.
I'm just sittin' there just like yeah,
what do you like to do for fun?
And just like look like a fool.
- But what if you really wanted that burger?
- I suffer.
I suffer for the date is what I do.
- Good man.
- Or like on the way home, I'll go through the drive thru.
- What conversations should be avoided?
A lot (laughing).
- Yeah.
I always play it by ear.
Like if there's something they wanna talk about,
and it's not just like
let me tell you about my ex-boyfriend.
- Ooh.
- Then it's like okay, I'll listen.
Like I've had first dates where like
they wanted to talk about their family.
I've had first dates where they wanna bring up politics.
It's sometimes like a thing where they like
ah this is something that's important to me.
And I have to tell you now,
'cause it's that important to me.
- Okay.
Honestly, that's fair.
Most of the people,
I feel like that I agree to go on a date with,
I think however we met or however we were chatting prior,
we kind of touch on some of those topics
a little before we even get to the date,
because some of those things are really important.
- Deal breakers!
- Yeah, and I'm like it's not gonna work.
But if you know, you don't get that far
before you actually go out,
as long as you're mature about it,
I don't think that like religion, politics,
other social aspects, I don't think they should be
- Taboo. - Taboo,
like, I think there's a way to touch on it,
and if you see it's going left,
then be like, got it, like I understand
we're very different, you know?
- Yeah.
- Who's paying for the date?
- It depends.
If I have like a pretty decent time,
or if it's like somebody that I'm like you know what,
I had a nice time,
even if I don't have a romantic connection at the end of it,
I'm just gonna pay for convenience sake.
But if it's like additional times, like if I see them again
or if we've been going out for a while,
I'm not gonna automatically try and pay
each and every time.
That's just gonna rack up.
- So, the first one's on you, the rest?
- Yeah, the first one's on me.
Or if it's just like a really bad time
and I haven't like escaped in a cloud of smoke yet,
then I'm gonna just sit there
and the check's gonna be there
and I'm just gonna be like yeah, we should split this, huh?
Yeah.
- Someone told me, and I don't know
if this is a thing for all men, or like for whom,
but some men said that like they get offended
when women offer because it's like a manhood thing.
So, now I just sit back quietly and I wait,
'cause I'm like, I don't wanna offend someone
by being like I have money.
- Nah, any dude that gets offended
that you're trying to pay for his food or his drink
is an insecure guy.
He's just like how dare you give me money.
- Right, I mean, I don't mind paying,
but I think I like when the guy pays
on the first date at least.
Like it's kinda nice.
It's like oh, gifts, that is my love language.
(romantic music)
- How do you let your date down if you're not feeling them?
- I've had to do this many times.
Well, not, I don't sound like
- Many, many times.
- Every time!
The best way I do it,
is I just like keep saying like I had such a good time,
like but I really gotta go to bed.
Or I don't like to lie,
but I'm always like I have to get up early in the morning.
That's my go-to.
If I say that, you know I'm not trying to hang out with you.
- I personally really don't like ghosting.
It's like a huge pet peeve of mine when it happens to me.
And I don't like to do it.
Like even not romantic way, like if a friend calls me,
I gotta call him back.
- Oh, you're such a good person.
- I try.
- I'd be like bye (laughing).
- But no, if it just didn't go well,
and then they come back after me,
and they're like yo, hey, that was really fun.
I liked that a lot.
I'd like to see you again.
I'm just gonna say no.
I'm just gonna say, that was nice,
it was cool to meet you,
not rally interested in doing that again.
- So you just say that?
- Yeah.
- How do I do that?
Teach me.
- So, what you do is you say,
hey, yeah, no, I didn't really like that.
- Hey, yeah, no.
Will there be a kiss at the end of the date?
- That depends.
Even sometimes if I really had a good time,
I still might not try and kiss them.
I'm very slow about it.
- I feel like when I first was in the dating game,
I was like I'm all game, we can do whatever you want.
But I'm now I'm kinda like
like I just move a lot slower these days, you know.
Like even if I want to kiss that person.
'Cause, I mean, I've been on dates
where I'm like romantically attracted,
and I was like oh, I'd love to kiss him.
Look at those lips.
But like, even at the end of the date, I'm like no,
maybe one more date.
Like lemme, you know.
(romantic music)
I learned from Nate that it's best to be honest and direct.
Like yeah, we all say ghosting is mean,
and it is, but we all do it.
(laughing)
Too often.
But just be up front and honest.
If you're not feelin' someone
and they're clearly feelin' you, don't waste their time.
They put themselves out there.
Have the decency of saying, you know what,
you're a great guy, you're somebody else's husband,
you're not mine.
And just put it like that.
Like that?
- I do like that.
- Cheers to dating etiquette.
(clink)
- Ah!
(laughing)
(romantic music)