(dramatic chord)
(gentle music) (phone ringing)
- [Mom] Hi Coleen.
Yeah.
Yes, Monday should be fine to come down to the site.
Is two o'clock all right?
Okay, terrific.
Oh, the move went great, thanks.
Yeah, they just left.
We're gonna be living outta boxes for a while.
We'll make do.
(gentle music) (whooshes)
- Another hell hole.
How long do you think we'll stay this time?
(beeping)
(whacking) (crying out)
- Okay thanks, bye bye.
Izzie, come help me unpack.
- In a minute.
(whacking)
(rock music)
(whooshing)
(farting noises)
(grunting) (whooshing)
(phone ringing)
- Okay, what time?
Yeah, a little later would be better.
Okay, six, that would be great.
And who's coming?
Just read me the whole list.
Yeah.
- Mom. - Okay.
- Can you drive me to get a new Skull Slam?
- Oh.
Okay.
I don't know how many times I have to say it.
Okay.
Wait, just hold on.
I used to love reading these as a kid.
That one came with free makeup, how cool is that?
- New Skull Slam please.
(sighing)
(light muzak)
- [Receptionist] X.
- Okay, X.
Last check in was three years ago.
Wow.
You're going on your ninth year.
Not many of us get to last that long.
So congratulations, you are eligible for retirement.
All your benefits are outlined here in this folder.
Hey, I understand, but don't you think
she might be getting a little old for you?
Ah, why don't you watch this video?
(cheesy music)
- [Narrator] So you've grown attached to your human friend.
It's every imaginary friend's duty
to provide companionship, entertainment,
and comfort in times of need.
But at a certain age, the child needs
to face life on their own.
If the imaginary friend stays too long,
the child will be unable to distinguish
between the human world and the imaginary,
which can lead to irresponsible decision making,
alienation from their human peers, and emotional distress.
We hope you will make the best choice for your human friend.
(cheesy music) (TV switching off)
- [Bearbear] Look, I can tell you really like your kid,
but what are you gonna do when she starts
to take an interest in other people?
(old timey music)
Just think it over.
(squeaking)
(shooting)
(shooting) - Hey!
That's cheating.
It's okay, come here.
(shooting)
(laughter) (buzzing)
(romantic music)
(shooting)
(record scratching)
- [Mom] No, great.
That's great news.
Okay, thanks, bye.
(sighing)
Anything exciting happen today?
(stabbing)
Look, if you made friends
with some kids in the neighborhood,
maybe you'd be a little less gloomy.
(clattering)
(dinging)
(twinkling music)
- How?
- [Girl] Popular Girl presents
How To Lure Your Man and Keep Him.
Step One: The Look.
Play up you eyes and lips.
Boys love that.
(dinging)
Step Two: Topics.
Always have something interesting to talk about.
(cheesy music)
Step Three: Use Your Hot Bod.
Show some cleavage to really drive him wild.
Step Four: Be Confident and Aloof.
Smart, but don't make him feel dumb.
Sexy, but not too sexy.
- You sure it'll work?
- [Girl] Now go get your man.
(upbeat music)
(brakes squeal) (music stops)
Hey.
- Uh, hey.
(upbeat music)
- Did you hear about the lady
who just gave birth to a pig and a goat in Arizona?
- No.
(upbeat music)
- What are you reading?
- Uh, Death Knights.
- Oh.
Have you read the one with Lord Meltface?
- Yeah, only like a million times.
Um, do you wanna read one?
- Yeah.
(upbeat music)
I mean no.
Sure, whatever.
This is the first edition where Deathhands meets his mom.
- [Boy] Uh, yeah, it took me,
it took me six months to track it down.
- Cool.
- I'm gonna go grab a soda.
Um, do you want one?
- Um, sure.
(dinging)
I think it's not going terrible.
(whistling)
- I don't know about that.
Don't you think that's a little weird?
(roaring)
Okay, fine.
I'll tell him when he gets back.
- Who are you talking to?
- Um, no one.
I wasn't talking.
- I heard you.
- Uh.
I don't know what you're talking about.
- Just then.
You looked at something.
- No!
I didn't.
- You know, I just remembered, I gotta go,
uh, I gotta go help my dad mow the lawn.
Backyard, sorry.
- I think I just need to be alone right now.
Please.
(upbeat lowkey music)
(chattering)
- Hey, X!
Care to join me?
Well, you look like you need something strong.
Bartender!
What happened to you?
Oh.
Yeah, been there.
Let me show you something.
This is Ben.
We had a couple of really great years together.
Then all of a sudden, he started playing with other kids.
When Ben got invited to his first sleepover,
he begged me to stay home, but I wouldn't.
He ignored me all night and I got mad.
We got into a big fight in front of his friends,
and they thought he was a weirdo, sent him home.
When we got back he told me he hated me,
and that was the last time I saw him.
I never even got a change to say goodbye.
(lowkey music) (slurping)
(squeaking)
(melancholy music)
(sparking)
(twinkling)
- Hi.
What's this?
(confetti blowing)
(easygoing music)
(screaming)
(whacking)
(exploding)
What's next?
Let's go home.
What are you doing?
Hey.
- Uh, hey.
Got any new weird news to tell me?
- Yeah, sorry about that.
People say stupid things when they're nervous.
- Um, I just got the new Exploding Bug.
(laughing faintly)
Hey.
(speaking faintly) (bittersweet music)
(mysterious music)
- [Female Robotic Voice] Watch Dust.
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