Hi there this is Clay Andrews, I am the world's leading breakup expert for high achievers.
And in this video we're going to be talking about what to text your ex girlfriend.
Okay?
So first of all, you don't want to be texting your ex girlfriend right away if the breakup
is still really fresh, if she's like really still kind of angry and pissed off at you
and stuff like that from maybe some kind of fight or bad experience that you had or whatever,
right?
You want to give some of that, some of those negative emotions, time to kind of dissipate
and die down a bit.
That's why we advocate doing things like ANC and all that stuff.
I'm not going to go into that here because we have other videos that talk about that.
But let's, let's assume you've gone ahead and done that.
So what is, what is it?
You go ahead and do to text your ex.
So the first thing you want to do is not start with anything that is too serious.
Okay?
Like, oftentimes people will start the, the text message was something like really serious.
Like, Oh hey, like I think it's time we talk about our breakup or something like that.
Don't do that.
It's going to scare off.
Nobody wants to talk about painful, serious things, right?
It's just going to feel bad and nobody really wants to do it.
So make sure that it's non threatening.
Okay.
Just something easy to respond to something that a friend would send a something as simple
as like, hey, you know, I saw this and this silly dog the other day.
It reminded me of that.
The fat dog that used to be in our neighborhood and then just like maybe attach a picture
to it or something like that.
And just kind of assume that she's going to respond to you.
You don't have to like make it into this big thing where you're like, you know, if you
agree with me than text back and if you did not receive this, then you know, texts.
No, or would you like don't do that because it comes across a little bit needy, but just
kind of assume that she's going to respond.
Kind of like when you text, you know, a family member or a friend or something, it's just
like, you know, it was just like, oh yeah, of course.
Like I don't have to necessarily ask like a big dramatic question or anything just to
get them to respond is just kind of assumed that they're going to respond right beyond
that, you know, understand the purpose of the first text message and the purpose of
the first text message is really just to kind of calibrate where she is at emotionally.
Okay.
So that you can kind of know how to respond at that point.
Right.
So again, you know, the first text message is not asking her about any heavy things,
not asking her to get back together with you.
It's not asking her to go out on a date with you or anything like that because again, you
don't know where she's at emotionally and if she's like in a really bad spot emotionally
that day because maybe it's just a bad day or whatever and you like ask her out, she's
gonna be like, nope.
Or if she's in a bad mood and you ask her to get back together and she's going to be
a no, of course not.
Right.
So you're not going to do that.
What you want to do is just kind of see where she's at then like, oh, okay, I know it's
maybe a bad day.
So obviously you're not going to do anything big on that day, like asked her out.
Right.
Maybe try again the next day or a few days later when maybe her mood is a little bit
better.
And that is when you can start to do some the other things like after you calibrate
where her mood is and it's like, oh, okay, she's in a good mood now.
Maybe I can have a little bit of banter, et Cetera, and then go in for something like
asking her out on a date.
But you definitely want to calibrate first.
Okay. so, so yeah, when you do reach out, you something nonthreatening again, like that
kind of dog example that we went over.
But, you know, really, definitely do not at all in any way, skip over the advanced relational
skills part during ANC and all that stuff.
Right?
So don't think that like, oh, your ex broke up with you yesterday.
I'm just going to use these texting techniques that I just learned from Clay and I'll be
back together by sundown.
Like it's probably not going to work that way.
Okay.
So what I really want you to do is really work on the advanced relational skills so
that you can connect with her.
I'm in a much deeper way, even if it's via text message or preferably in person, I'm
to the point where you know, you can really get that deep, strong emotional bond where
she really feels that you get her better than anyone else out there and that you can understand
her better than anyone else out there.
And of course she's going to want to get back together with you and spend more time with
you and stuff like that.
When you can have that kind of connection and you can do that via text message, you
can do it over the phone, in person, of course, any medium out there possible, but that is
absolutely critically important more so than any text message that you can send.
Okay, so definitely work on those advanced relational skills.
And if you'd like help to develop that, please head on over to relationshipinnergame.com.
You can go ahead and click in the link down in the description.
We'll take you over there or just type it into your browser and then you can go ahead
and sign up for our newsletter.
We'll share with you tips and advice, etc.
On how to make these changes and, you know, really get those advanced relational skills
down so that you can get back together with your ex girlfriends.
SO I hope this helped you out and I'll see you over at relationshipinnergame.com.