>> SHANE: These negotiations aren't getting us anywhere!
>> ARTHUR: I've got a clear shot!
>> SHANE: So does he.
>> BRITTANY: I know you're scared, Yaktha, but you've run out of options.
>> EVAN: As long as I have a blade, I have options. Your ranger will die.
>> WILL: Oh, no. Is this the end of Biff?
>> ARTHUR: Don't worry, Biff. No friend of Noctus dies unavenged.
>> SHANE: I'd rather Biff not die at all.
>> EVAN: What I propose is a trade. Your precious Biff's life—for the Eleventh Eye!
>> BRITTANY: I propose you drop your blade and leave now. I might let you live.
>> EVAN: You're killing him!
Uh, take one point of damage as the blade cuts your cheek.
>> WILL: Yeah, yeah.
>> ARTHUR: Check!
>> SHANE: What was that, ketchup?
>> EVAN: Arthur, I cut his face. I didn't slaughter a tomato on it!
>> ARTHUR: It's called being prepared.
>> WILL: No, it's called, "You just ate a Big Mac."
Fuckers better do something fast. I hate making new characters.
>> SHANE: Don't worry. Evan's not going to kill a PC like this.
>> EVAN: Oh—oh no?
>> ARTHUR: Janwa, there you are!
>> BRITTANY: Noctus! Thank the Four Maidens! Where's Griff?
>> WILL: Arthur, you dick!
>> ARTHUR: Dark wizard got him.
>> BRITTANY: We'll avenge him. Just help me.
>> ARTHUR: Yes, right away.
Oh, no. No, I can't beat a diff eight.
>> BRITTANY: Well, then, carry me!
>> ARTHUR: Yeah. . . .
>> BRITTANY: Noctus, come on!
>> ARTHUR: It'll put me over my encumbrance. We can't risk a total party kill.
Someone's gotta live . . . bye. . . .
>> BRITTANY: But—
Not like this.
Not like this!
Ow.
>> EVAN: We about ready to end the check?
>> ARTHUR: As I was saying: No friend of Noctus dies unavenged.
>> EVAN: If I die, my village will hunt you down, and tell the King where you are!
>> ARTHUR: No, not the King!
>> SHANE: We hand over the Eleventh Eye, grab Biff, and then we stab the half-orc in the
back!
>> ARTHUR: No, we promised not to let the Eleventh Eye out of our sight!
>> SHANE: We don't have any other options!
>> BRITTANY: Shoot the hostage.
>> SHANE: What.
>> BRITTANY: Shoot. The hostage.
>> WILL: Aww!
>> BRITTANY: Stunning Blast!
>> ARTHUR: You went all Keanu Reeves on him!
>> BRITTANY: You stole the Eleventh Eye! You threatened to kill my love! Your life is forfeit.
>> SHANE: We can't kill him, Corillia! We can't fight a whole village!
>> EVAN: Listen to the paladin, you fool!
>> BRITTANY: Eldritch Conflagration.
>> EVAN: [screams]
>> SHANE: Corillia, that was too risky.
>> BRITTANY: We won, did we not?
>> SHANE: We should have played it safe!
>> BRITTANY: When you've won the heavy hand of leadership, you'll make that call.
>> SHANE: Yes, but . . . "Shoot the hostage?"
>> BRITTANY: No one takes a life that is rightfully mine.
>> EVAN: Aw, okay, okay. That's a good enough a place to end the session as any.
>> ARTHUR: That was awesome! This time you have to come for a drink with us.
>> SHANE: Sorry, I can't. I have to work.
>> ARTHUR: Oh, come on!
>> SHANE: Brit, for the record, my plan would have worked.
>> BRITTANY: Oh. It probably would've. I'm sorry!
>> WILL: You shot me, you dick!
>> ARTHUR: Noctus always gets his revenge.
>> WILL: What a tool.
>> BRITTANY: Um, Will?
>> WILL: I smell like a hot dog.
>> BRITTANY: I was wondering, uh, would you wanna see a movie sometime?
>> WILL: Are you asking me out, or . . .
>> BRITTANY: Oh! No, I mean, I didn't mean to imply—
>> WILL: Hey! Hey, hey hey! That sounds great! Is tomorrow good, or . . .
>> BRITTANY: Yeah!
>> WILL: Awesome. I gotta go kick Arthur's ass now. Okay?
>> BRITTANY: Yeah.
>> ARTHUR: Ow!