- Simpsons?
(laughing) Okay.
May have a problem with this one.
(jazz music)
Hi everyone, my name is Michael Franzese.
I'm a former capo in the Colombo crime family.
One of the five New York Mafia families.
And I spent over 20 years in that life.
And I'm here today to review some
iconic scenes from various mafia movies, TV shows,
so on and so forth.
But I think you'll find it very interesting.
- [Moe Greene] You think I'm skimming off the top, Mike?
- [Michael Corleone] You're unlucky.
- Michael Corleone, a very famous scene.
- You goddamn guineas really make me laugh.
- Guineas is a bad name for Italians.
Nobody wants to be called that when you're Italian.
Having said that to a guy in Michael Corleone's position,
wouldn't have worked.
He would have gotten hurt right there on the spot.
- I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders.
- I mean, he's insulting him left and right.
I mean, you just don't do that.
- Tom, you're the consigliere
and you can talk to the Don, you can explain...
- Just a minute now.
- Another thing in this scene, again Duvall played
this role brilliantly, but it was fictional
in "The Godfather", because the consigliere
is a real position.
You gotta take the oath and become a made member
in order to be consigliere.
Robert Duvall in this, he wasn't even Italian
and you can't become a made guy unless you're Italian.
- Mike, you don't come to Las Vegas
and talk to a man like Moe Greene like that!
- There's no way that Fredo would have told
Michael in real life,
"Hey, do you realize who you're talking to?"
When his brother is the mob boss.
I thought "The Godfather" was the greatest mob movie ever.
I really do.
I still feel that way.
But that scene was very unrealistic.
No doubt.
If I had to rate that scene, your realism
on a scale of one to five, that would be a one.
(thudding) (grunting)
It might even be a zero.
- I think in all fairness,
I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.
For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early.
Take a walk down over to the bank,
and walk in and see.
If you don't have my money for me
I'll crack your head wide open.
- I gotta tell ya, I've seen and heard,
and been around people that have done that.
What has surprised me here is
that Pesci didn't hit him right on the spot.
Just smack him right in the mouth.
Smack him around a little bit.
But he controlled himself pretty well.
- You people out of money and get away with it.
- You can't talk to me like that.
- Hey, you fat Irish prick, you put my money to sleep.
You go get my money or I'll put your brain to sleep.
- Joe Pesci without a doubt is the most realistic,
the greatest actor in a mob role ever.
He just lights it up.
I knew guys like him.
So, he's real.
He portrays a mob guy better than any mob guy that I knew.
I can tell you this, I guarantee that it's not
scripted in every way the way he says it.
He was part of that life (murmuring) grew up in it,
in a way, and he's got it down padded.
On a scale of one to five, I give this a five.
(thudding) (grunting)
Extremely realistic.
The only thing that was missing is he probably
would have hit him right on the spot.
At least smacked him once or twice.
Simpsons?
(laughing) Okay.
May have a problem with this one.
(laughing)
- I never saw The Simpsons - Hey, hey
- in my life honestly, but... - it's Fat Tony's crew.
- How's the big guy doing?
I sent flowers - You mean they even got
- but you probably didn't - the mob in
- The Simpsons Show? - get them.
- Wow. - You know florists.
(gulping)
- Krusty, Fat Tony hasn't received his weekly payment
for keeping McDonald's, and Burger King out of town.
- I'm a little short - Fat Tony,
- this week. - real character,
- Could I just pay - boss.
you five dollars to keep out Hardee's?
(pounding hands) (whacking)
- [Krusty] Ow, my schnoz, my puddim, my puppet.
My connectakazoink.
(grunting)
- That was pretty realistic.
You aren't getting away with paying $5 when you owe more.
I'll tell you that much.
On a scale of one to five, I rate this a five.
(thudding) (grunting)
Simpson's got it.
When you've got a debt on the street,
you don't get away with it.
You either run away or you never get away from it.
If it's juice money and you're collecting big
on it every week, you're gonna have to pay it off.
I never knew that the mob was involved
even with The Simpsons.
It was pretty cool.
- You definitely don't want a silencer.
You wanna make a lot of noise
to make the witnesses run away,
so they aint gonna be looking at you.
- You know, my view of "The Irishman" in general is that,
well-acted of course,
you got all the brilliant actors in there.
But it was unrealistic, the movie.
Well, I shouldn't say that.
It was really untrue.
Scorsese always makes great mob movies.
So the movie itself was brilliant.
I'll be honest with you.
Back in the day, we didn't look for using a silencer
for a certain reason.
We didn't wanna make noise so people would run away.
Never heard of anything like that.
I mean, you pick your weapon, and you use it, and that's it.
- The noise a .45 makes, cause that makes too much noise,
and a patrol car can hear it a few blocks away at least.
- Okay, the difference in noise between a .45,
and a lighter caliber, that's silly.
I mean, I don't know why
he would even say something like that.
You're gonna make noise, you're gonna make noise.
And back in the day, it was either a .32 or a shotgun.
Those were the two weapons that we used most of the time.
- [Frank] You never got a lot of advanced notice.
All you knew was your part of it.
- I will say now, what he's saying is true.
When you have a hit squad like that.
You try not to give too much information
to the people that are involved in it.
Really just the main guy knows everything.
The other guys are just coming along.
And you do that for security purposes.
You don't want the people with you knowing too much just
in case they did become an informant
at some point in time.
So this is realistic.
(laughing) (people chatting)
- [Child] Cake, cake, cake.
- [Male Actor] Not yet, not yet.
We haven't even done eating the meal yet,
and you want the cake, come on, you can't do that.
- [Child] Sorry.
(gun cracking) (screaming)
This is a bit personal to me.
Not that I had anything to do with the shooting, I didn't.
But this was my time, my family,
and I was very well-aware of what was going on at that time.
Because the family was on the brink of war.
This was back when Joey Gallo had planned
the assassination of Joe Colombo
at the Italian-American Civil Rights League.
I happened to be there that day,
and I was 10 steps away from Joe Colombo when he got shot.
So, I knew what happened then, I knew what happened
in the aftermath.
I know for a fact that Frank Sheeran was not one
of the shooters for Joey Gallo.
In that regard, this was untrue.
The depiction of the scene, it was pretty good
because that's the way it happened.
Shooter went in there and they did start shooting at him,
when his family was present.
Which is something that's not normally done.
But this was a strong message to Joey Gallo
that what he did was just wrong.
I mean, you shoot up a mob boss
in front of 50 thousand people.
His family and everybody else.
So he paid the price.
So the scene itself was pretty accurate.
But again, Sheeran was not the killer.
So on a scale of one to five,
I would give this probably a two.
(thudding) (grunting)
- [Henry Hill] When you think of prison.
- Here's your lobsters.
- [Henry Hill] You get pictures in your mind
of all those old movies with rows,
and rows of guys behind bars.
But it wasn't like that for wise guys.
- I've been asked this a million times.
I gotta clear this up right away.
I spent eight years in prison.
I was arrested, I think 17 or 18 times in my life.
So I've been in jails all over the country.
My dad did 40 years in prison.
So basically, I've been either in prison
or visiting prisons my entire life.
This scene is total nonsense.
I mean look, Italian guys, we had it a little better
at times in prison, because we had guys in the kitchen,
so we'd eat a little better.
We never had this kinda stuff coming in.
Contraband every once in a while.
Maybe we got a little treat coming into the prison.
But nothing like this.
I mean, this isn't even a jail.
I don't even know where they are.
Looks like they're still in somebodies house.
So totally unrealistic.
I wish it was like that, but it wasn't.
You know as far as realism on this,
I have to give it a zero.
(thudding) (grunting)
Because there's no way
that anything like this ever took place.
- But I'll tell you something,
I was proud to be Johnny Soprano's kid.
When he beat the out of that guy, I went to the class,
I told them how tough my father was.
- Do you think that's how your son feels about you?
- Yeah, probably, and I'm glad.
I'm glad if he's proud of me.
But that's the bind I'm in,
'cause I don't want him to be like me.
- I think the dialogue is right on here.
I'm thinking of myself talking about my father.
And how I want my son to think about me.
Throughout my time in that life, I know a lot of guys
that would not want their children
to follow them in that life.
Most of the guys wanted their sons to be educated.
I think it's pretty realistic as far as the dialogue.
Now who he's saying it to, and in the context of this scene,
that's unrealistic.
If a mob boss was ever visiting a psychiatrist,
he'd be in the trunk of his car by the end of the week.
Along with his psychiatrist.
Because, it would be the same as if he was talking to a cop.
Or he became an informant.
So that part of The Sopranos, totally unrealistic.
- How come I'm not making pots in Peru?
You're born to this.
You are what you are.
- Yeah, obviously I disagree with that.
I know you're not born into... well you're born into it,
but it's not a genetic deal where you have
to follow in you father's footsteps.
So it's really just the way circumstances turn out.
That's how it was in my life.
So on a scale of one to five,
the overall scene I'd have to rate a zero.
(thudding) (grunting)
Because you'd never see a mob boss talking
to a psychiatrist.
And if he did, he'd be killed.
No doubt about it.
But as far as what Tony said,
I would rate that as a five.
(thudding) (grunting)
But just be careful.
I just caution you when you watch this,
don't take everything as being factual and the truth.
Take a lot of this with a grain of salt.
A lot of things are fictional.
But there's always some semblance of truth
in many of them that I've seen.
Just enjoy the movies.
Enjoy the television series.
Cause that's what they're there for.
They're entertaining.
(jazz music)