- [Narrator] Hey Psych2Goers,
do you feel like there's a growing distance
between you and your friends?
While no one is inherently a toxic person,
you can adapt and take on some behaviors
that make the people around you uncomfortable
and sometimes even hurt.
So if you've ever wondered whether your actions
are causing your friends to push you away?
Then here are six signs that you might be a toxic friend.
Number one, you don't root for their success.
Imagine your friends entering a competition,
and it's their turn to show up on stage.
Are you waiting to cheer them on,
or do you feel insecure
and bitter that it's them onstage and not you?
Sometimes your feelings of envy may manifest itself
into unintentional ways.
You may turn passive aggressive towards them in resentment,
or you may distance yourself from them
out of shame or anxiety.
However, even if you feel upset or envious,
know that whatever negative feeling you're feeling
is a valid emotion.
Instead of inflicting criticism against yourself
by fighting these emotions or allowing them to control you,
embrace them and practice self compassion
towards yourself without judgment.
This way you'll learn to cope with the conflict
and in turn, channel it in a more positive way.
Number two, you enable them.
Do you ignore your friend's bad behavior
or make excuses for them?
If you allow your friend to do harmful things to themselves
or to the people around them,
then you may be a toxic friend.
While it doesn't directly create an immediate impact.
Continuously letting them get away
with self destructive behavior
can be harmful in the long term
for both themselves and the people around them.
Instead, you may wanna lend a helping hand
and nudge them in the right direction.
You don't have to lecture them if you don't want to,
but pointing them to the right resources
while maintaining an honest
and empathetic demeanor with them
can help them acknowledge their actions.
Number three, you never apologize.
Is it hard for you to say sorry.
Everyone makes mistakes.
You may unintentionally say or do something
that makes the people around you feel bad about themselves.
But if your response is to tell others to suck it up
or not to worry about it,
without considering how they feel,
then you're doing more harm than good for your relationship.
No one's perfect.
But having humility and the courage to admit your mistakes
is a sign of genuine sincerity.
A simple heartfelt sorry,
at the right time can make all the difference
to wash away any repressed dynamics in a relationship.
Number four, you dismiss their emotions.
Do you make fun of people when they express their feelings?
Perhaps you poke fun at them through derogatory comments
or say snarky remarks that diminish their emotions.
Friendships founded on snarky jobs
and light teas are fine and all,
but if a friend shows that they're uncomfortable with it
and you still do it,
then you're not being a good friend.
This also holds true in more serious situations,
where they ask for emotional support
but you try to shift the subject into something else.
By doing this,
you're sending the message
that their feelings aren't important and are better unsaid.
Number five, you demand them to give more than you give.
How often do you call your for help,
while friends are supposed to be there for each other.
Being overly needy can be taxing as well.
Being too needy
can stem from an anxious attachment personality style,
and low self-confidence.
So growing out of it will require conscious effort.
Aside from open and honest communication with your friends.
You may also wanna talk to a professional about it
since they can teach you how to learn to rely on
and love yourself more,
which can help you maintain healthier relationships
in the long run.
And number six, you're arrogant.
Do you gloat a lot about your success?
There's a difference between
being happy about your achievements and being prideful.
If you're too arrogant,
you might cause your friend group
to feel less secure in sharing their ideas
and engaging with you.
It may even feel like
they're walking on eggshells around you,
which is not good for either party.
While there's no question
that staying true to yourself is important.
Staying humble and open-minded among your peers
is also important to maintain your relationships
and to make yourself more likable around others.
So do you think you're a toxic friend?
Let us know in the comments below.
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The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks for watching.
And we'll see you in the next video.