Narcissism
While there's only one diagnosis associated with it
there are 3 main types that we can encounter
and that's what we're gonna talk about today
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but let's get into this!
like I said, there's only 1 diagnosis for narcissism
and that is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
but in short that is define by the DSM as a pattern of grandiosity,
need for admiration, and lack of empathy
now, in order to be diagnosed with NPD these patterns must be pervasive
meaning that they're happening, all throughout our lives
they're not episodic
Do you guys remember about this old video I did about
Borderline Personality Disorder vs Bipolar Disorder
and how Bipolar disorder has episodes, right?
we have a week of mania, and then we could have like a month of depression
it can kind of go around like that
personality disorders as a whole, happen more consistenly
they're in our lives a lot, and that's what the term "pervasive" means
when it comes to diagnosis
now someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, in order to get that diagnosis
must have 5 of the following 9 criteria
the 1st: has a grandiose sense of self importance
2: is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love
3: believes that he or she is special and unique and can only be
understood by, or should associate with other special or high-status people
4: requieres excessive admiration
5: has a sense of entitlement
6: is interpersonally exploitive,
meaning they'll take advantage of others to achieve their own ends
the next is: lacks empathy
meaning they're unwilling to recognize, or identify the feelings or needs of others
and 8: is often envious of others, or believes that they are
envious of him or her
and the 9th and final is: shows arrogant or hotty behaviors or attitudes
and people believe that, although there's only 1 diagnosis for narcissists
there are 3 distinct types that we can see and experience in our life
the 1st type of narcissist is the exhibitionist
this is the most classic type of narcissists
they don't feel insecure about themselves at all
instead, they feel amazing
they think that they are better, more attractive and so much smarter than those
around them, they can be extremely rude and off-putting to those
that they encounter
and they call this type of, like an exhibitionist type
because they're always trying to get people to notice them
a lot of the articles I read, talked about it like they're children, like: look at me
like, mom look what I can do! like that kind of thing
they need a lot of attention, and so they want everyone to notice and pay attention
to what they're doing at all times
and as upsetting as this type can be
they are consistent with their behavior
and what that means is that they can become kind of predictable
and we know what to expect, which does, you know, take out kind of a fear element
from that one type of narcissist
the 2nd type of narcissist I wanna talk about is
the covert narcissist
now these types of people tend to be more insecure, and are more likely to
gaslight those they're in a relationship with, and if you wanna know
more about gas lighting, I'll link my video about it in the description
but it's very likely that someone with these traits grew up in an abusive
home, or even possibly had another narcissist in they're life,
like a parent or a sibling
because these people feel really insecure and they'll look for better or more
important people to connect themselves with
almost like, you know, they're more important by association
they also tend to not follow through with what they said they'd do
and then they'll try to act like they're the victim, for example,
let's say you had a friend, you know, you told them you needed them to pick you up
from the airport, and this person is a covert narcissist,
they will just not show up, they won't tell you that they're not picking you up
and then when you call them, and you're upset because you're like, dude!
I'm waiting at baggage claim! where are you?
they'll turn the conversation around and make you feel bad for them
they'd be like, you have no idea what kind of stressful day I had!
I can't believe you'd ask me to do something like this, ugh!
and they'll make you feel bad for them, that's the whole goal
is to not take any blame, to not take any responsibility
and to put it on those around them
therefore you could see that this type of narcissist
tends to be more passive agressive
and they can be kind and caring, in public when you're out with other people
but really abusive and mean in private
and this can make it extremely difficult for those who are actually in
really close relationships with these people
the 3rd and final type of narcissist I wanna talk about
is the toxic narcissist
and this type, obviously is the worst the name kind of gives it away
they not only want people to think that they are the best
but they want, everyone else to know that they're inferior
therefore they thrive on putting others down, and they have no empathy
for the destruction that they leave in their wake
some research even shows that these types of people enjoy hurting others
so you can see that this could overlap a little bit
with Antisocial Personality Disorder
they also thrive on creating chaos and drama, although if you asked them
they'd say: ugh I hate drama!
but yet, they always manage to be in the center of if,
so for obvious reasons, this type of person can be very difficult
to be in a relationship with
if they're constantly putting you down,
essentially, they can be emotionally abusive to those that they're closest to
just because I feel it's worth mentioning
like most mental illnesses, and especially personality disorders
they come from somewhere
meaning that something has happened to us
when we were young, or developing
that has caused us to act in the way that we're acting now
and that's why therapy and working on ourselves can help us overcome
and yes, I do believe that many people with NPD
don't like how they act
or who they are
and will in fact reach out for help
I also don't want this video to be thought of, as demonizing those with NPD
but instead just making people more aware of the traits
that they may encounter when
in a relationship with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
and also, just keeping in mind, that those with NPD
work tirelessly to avoid seeing their true self
that's why, you know, we tend to act out in these grandiose or entitled ways
looking at our true self with all of its flaws and faults and imperfections
can cause us to feel extremely vulnerable and emotionally injured
I've always believed that those with NPD have had to grow up in a
very emotionally abusive environment
because they don't really have a true sense of self
instead we put up, this, you know, proud and confident facade
to keep our fear and shame hidden, and to keep us safe
and saying all of this doesn't mean that I'm advocating for people who
get into relationships with those with NPD or those
who are struggling
because without treatment
they can be very hostile and abusive, and hurt a lot of people
pulling people in, making them feel like they're the best thing ever, and then
cutting them out of they're life completely
and leaving them alone, and feeling horribly hurt and disappointed
however with treatment,
I believe that our symptoms of NPD can be something we recognize
and manage
by working on ourselves, building up our true confidence and sense of self
we can overcome this personality disorder
I also believe that if trauma or abuse is a part of our past, talking through that
with a professional, can really help us finally heal
this video has been brought to you by Patreon
if you would like to support the creation of these mental health videos click the
link in the description and check it out, and I wanna end this video by
just letting you know, I'm trusting that you will not leave any hate in the comment
There are a lot of people out there with NPD, who may be coming to this video
to receive help and better understanding for what they're experiencing and,
so, know that we're a community and we're working together,
towards a healthy mind and a healthy body!
Subtitles by the Amara.org community