Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier
and welcome to "My Name Is Mayo"!
Now, when I found Insanity Clicker, I found this game in the related games tab...
and it was so bizarre, that I have to play it.
This is first time I've opened this up, and
I imagine I need to click this damn jar of mayo
and something's... gonna' happen.*awkward laughter*
*starts clicking*
Hello?? Oh! Yeah!!! *laughs* I got a new achievement!
I don't know what that means, "you can see the hits" *that's what she said...
Ooh! Okay.. This good!
*clinking noises*
AAAAAWW!!
*Grunt*
Yeah!! I got another achievement! I don't know what of..
"Random Fact #25: The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is."
Oh, is that so? That damn Neanderthal thinks he's better than me, huh?!
YEAH!!
I got another one!
Okay! "Random Fact #50: The king of hearts is only the king without a mustache."
*Inhales deeply*–GREAT!
Wonderful! WAAAH! *starts clicking intensely*
I'm doing the double-clicky!
Woahhhh
I didn't expect to get another one
Hello, red bikini girl, how you doin'?
"Sometimes, I just like to wear my red bikini."
It makes me sad- oh! *laughs* "It makes me feel confident!"
Wow! What went on in my brain that made that pop in!?
Oh, I have no idea!
That probably reveals something about my personality that I'm not sure is okay!
Boink boink boink boink!
*sweet electric guitar noise*
Oooh!
I dunno what that means, but the achievement was named "Young boy"
"When I was a young kid..."
"Select this achievement to start story."
... Oh?
What?
Uh-
oH! WOAH! Woah! Woahhh...
The grundle on that jar of mayo is not okay!
*Clicking Ensues*
Wha- why?
Okay...
This is the first time that I've actually questioned why
I'm tapping a jar of Mayo. Oh!
"I'll tell you something important about life."
A'right... let's do it.
What about...?
Huh?!
I don't get it. *tap tap tap*
What am I doing?
oooOHHHHH KAY
"The box of love."
What did I get? "The box of love"?...
But that's not on here.
"Life is like a box of chocolates."
O-Oh...
Okay.
That's good to know.
So do I need to-
Eh eh. OOOH!
Ah ha. I got two achievements with
that one. Let's see. "Gather around and I'll
spin you a yarn you won't believe!"
"But when I wear my leopard bikini I
feel like going wild."
I'm getting a lot of mixed signals about this jar of Mayonnaise.
Sorry, Jar of Mayo
I know they're very different... Alright
*glass tapping noise*
*laughs* That's adorable!
*giggles* What is going on here?
Oooooh it's so weird!
*sweet guitar noise*
AAaoohkay?!
Why??
"I wanted to be a rock star when I was a young kid."
Okay??
Alrighty then...
Let's spin a yarn!
Oh, it's literally yarn...
*tap tap tap*
Aaaaaaah...
I'm SoOooOo confused! *laughing*
Okay? *laughing*
Oh! "Random Fact #200-
every year about 98% of the atoms in
your body are replaced."
Oh boy, I thought that was every seven years.
Eagh?? Owhoop, shit.
Alright...
"It was a stormy night and it was raining cats and dogs."
Oh!
Great!
Okay...
"Hit this a hundred times." What?
"Keep wearing the leopard."
I don't know about that...
Oh!!
aHH!
*furiously taps*
wOOOOOOOO!!
*giggling some incomprehensible word*
It's just like...
It's hitting me in waves how absolutely ridiculous this game is *laughs*
Yeah!!
Ohhhh no. Do I take the top off?
OhohOHOHOHOHH
"When I feel wild, I do crazy things"
Boink!
OHHHH!!
OH MY GOD!!!!
wOOAAAAWWW!
OH! Look at that sexy ass jar of mayo!! *taps furiously*
wooOOOAA
(high pitched) WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Ok.
I did what I could....
I don't know if there's any more than that...
I don't know how many achievements there are–oh my god....
Who has the life to do all of these?
Holy shit.
Ohhhh my god...
Let me try one of the other ones...
"Life is like a box of chocolates"
oOOOOOOH
Wah!
"Just kidding"
Just kidding?!
"Who compares life with a box of chocolates?"
WAA- don't know
you know we have muscle reflexes and all that stuff that's why we moved uh okay
You know...
"We have muscle reflexes and all that stuff, that's why we move, duh!"
Woah-kay....
Oh boy, more
"Ok, let's get serious. Life is apart of our lives"
'Cuz th... the day of our lives???
Oh, Jesus
*laughs*
Whaddyou... "What, you don't like my philosophy on life??"
Not particularly!
eYERGHHG
"Hey, *laughing* I am the one talkin' about life!! Not you!"
Hey I talk about life all the time you can-
Goddamn it!
Let me get a word in edge-wise!
"Oh so you think you can define life better than me? I am Mayonnaise!"
euUUAAAAGH!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
There we go!
Ohh, I think that story might be done...
How many times have I hit it?I I have no idea.
I dunno if anything's gonna help me
"Just like daddy-" ohhh that's weird...
Ok
"I wanted to be a rock star." Let's try that one.
Oh, yeah, play the guitar, baby!
YEAAAAAHHHH
*sweet guitar noise*
wOOOO!!!
"Dad" *laughs* why is that dad?
"My dad wanted me to be like him."
Oh- woAHH.
Mmmmayo!
You're looking so manly!
habitahabitahabitahabita...
Woah!
I got another one!
Woah!
And I got another one after that!
I got two! "Club" and "Ordinary"
Let's see....
"An ordinary Mayonnaise."
Well... OH!
Ah, it's more boring.
Come on.
Give me something a bit more...
ooOOOOHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
mmrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
AHHHHHH
"Tap it wild and free."
"Hit this." Ooh, I think I know!
Oh, I think I know!
Hohohoho
Back to the craziness...
YE-A-H
*Groans*
Oh yeah!
"Creme de le mayo?"
"Creme de le ma-" oooh!
*while laughing* "Boy I feel horny!"
*confused laughter* OH MY GOD!
*still laughing* Who'd know this game about a jar of mayonnaise would get so sexy?
Woah, hey!
Doink doink!
Ah doink doink!
How ya doin'?
*goofy laughter*
*while laughing excessively* Oh man! The best!
*ecstatic yell*
Woah! Hoah! Woah okay! I- ooww, I should've known that was going to be pretty literal.
*random noises* Habada habada habada!
So when is this gonna stop?
Woooo!
Aaah, I've got another one.
"ZZZ: The day was over and I was ready to catch some Z's back home."
Wait...
Ohhh, come on now!
*a little bit angry* DON'T BE SASSY WITH ME GAME!
"But then I met a gorgeous blonde bombshell!"
Alright! Woah! Ohh, ahh, okay, alright, I get it.
Hahaha!
HAHAHAHA!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!
What did I do?
"We rapped about sauce, I hope it wasn't too cheesy!"
Oh my GOOOOD!
Oooh...
Aren't you just the most clever son-of-a-bitch ever?
I guess considering this is a jar of mayonnaise
an inanimate object would be just as sexy as a normal object...
Or maybe this jar of mayo wants to put on...
its bra again.
Oh, "Slap that cheese"? I'm about to!
*the before mentioned clicking noises*
Raaah!
*more clicking*
Rraaggh!
Ooh!
"Cup of joe, 100 percent innuendo."
"We seemed to hit it off! So I invited her for some coffee, if you catch my cold!"
What does that mean?
Oh god!
Whoa!
What the hell?
This game is ridiculous, and I love it.
I love everything about it.
My clicking finger...
It's getting weak!
Woo!
Screwed?
Oh no.
"But I forgot my apartment was an armpit, so I was screwed!"
What??
Oh god.
*laughing* Oh god! Oh my god!
*laughter*
Man, this is an interesting perspective on the male anatomy right here!
Eugh, I hope that screw isn't fastening this jar into place in this lovely hairy armpit.
"Screw that". Yup, this one takes some hits.
*more high-quality clicking*
We're on the pun achievement train!
"As soon as we went in, she flipped out! And then she totally vanished!"
*a single, lonely click*
Oh.
She f.. *laughs*
Ah, yes, of course. Of course. Of course that's the way it is.
Do I still need to click down this train?
"Flipped." Yup, five hundred hits, holy shit.
Why am I doing this?
Why am I clicking this so many times?
Why do I need to do this?
rrrAAAGGHHH-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
"I'm Just A Mayo". What does that mean?
"I felt pooped out the next day, but what do I know about love?"
Okay!
Righty then!
Oh, man.
Why do I have to hit this ten thousand times? That's impossible.
I'm not gonna stick around for that, jeez.
Oh, I need to click this some more. Oh!
Whoooooaaa!
Banana!
*childish giggling*
"I have a secret I hide from everybody. It's like my fantasy..."
And that- Whoa. What the hell, that is so weird!
Ah, love the banana outfit!
It's doing something for me!
I'm not sure what, but it's doing something!
*clicking dat banana*
Wooaaahhhhh!!
OHHH, is that a potato?
OHHH someone call JackSepticEye, this is gettin' hot in here.
You're not into my banana suits? How 'bout this?
*laughing* wELL... *sexy voice* you should know......
It's ma- woaAAHohohohohoho!
Wohohohoo!
*excited* This is about to be censored in Ireland, holy shit.
YEAAAAAAAH
Woaah.. AHHH... Even better
I luv–"Ok that's not sexy. Maybe this will cheer you up?"
I dunno'
CATSUP?!
Oohoohoohoohoo
It's still white! *tapping* S'little confusing!
Do I still need to click? I dunno'
Yep. Red mayonnaise hit 300 times
Red ketchup? Is that what you want?
Wa- I-I don't know.. maybe..
"Hit this 500 times?" I don't know if I can do that!
Aright!
Oh!
But this is same as before! I thought we did this already.
Maybe we just did the bottom half of this but I don't know
*clicking sounds*
OHHH it's the leopard on the catsup!!
That's-
Ah, ok, I gotcha now
woaAAAOHH!
ELEPHANT FUN TIMES??
I dunno what that means... But I like it
*laughing* "I don't know what you want!"
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT EITHER!
OHHoho BUT'S THAT'S NOT IT!!
OHH GOD!
*Wails in agony*
Ohh jeezzz
And–Boink!
Aw I thought that was gonna be something to 4000
Hho boy
Man..
Babedeboobededebedebedebe *incomprehensible tongue noises*
*sweet guitar music*
Ahh, there we go!
Oh, what the hell happened?
Identity Issues: "So I had some identity issues..."
This is goin' down the train of the daddy one..
I shouldn't call it-- oh, hey oh my god!
*sounds of disgust*
Oh, jeez!
Best Deal, Best Seller:
I dunno..
"I don't wanna be a top seller mayonnaise like him."
Okay, fine, you don't have to be..?
Question mark?
*sweet guitar music*
Whoaaa!
Glamrock?!
Well, that's moving into a different time period...
"I just wanna play my guitar with glam style."
Don't we all?
Don't we all...
*more of that glorious clicking*
Oh, that's...
That's not a good look for you...
That's no better than the other look that you had before.
It's all bad, to be honest.
It's just all bad.
"In the end, my dad supported me."
Yeah!!
In the end, though, it's only 50 for this one.
*the clicking that we all loVE*
*sweet guitar music returns*
Whoa!
A mime??
Uhh.."But now I want to be a mime!"
wELL I CAN'T HELP YOU ON THAT ONE!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!
Oh, jeez.
The only ones left are...
just getting number of clicks
and, man, my hand is brutal!
Ahh! My arm is just..
tensing up.
All the muscles in here are just exploding out of my forearm.
Man, like, I need to work on my clicker strength.
Okay, this is gonna be nuts.
Since I have to get to 10,000 and my arm is already cramping up, I downloaded an auto-clicker...
and, ordinarily, I wouldn't do this, but I want to see this to the end to see what's gonna happen,
and I don't even think I would be able to make it, so here we go.
*that wonderful clicking again*
Ah, shit!
Goddammit!
*surprisingly, more clicking*
It's going fits and bursts!
Yeah!
Yeaahh!!
*giggling awkwardly* This is gonna take forever...
Alright! Now we're making progress!
Haaaaa- beh!
*smol squeak*
Ah, there we go...
What's our new achievement?
Habadahabadahabada
"Random Fact #5000: Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise."
That's interesting.
Why is that?
I'm gonna switch back to the bikini...
with the elephant for some friggen reason.
I have no idea why.
We're approaching on another achievement.
Doot doot.
Let's go...What do we got?
(barely coherent) Any minute now? C'mon. Little more.
WOOO!
Stopped right on the money! What do we got?
"Random Fact #8000: A group of crows is called a murder."
WE ALL KNEW THAT!
It's not that interesting!
Wait, isn't there...
yeah, that's all.
Okay...
few more!
I am going to coast the last bit by hand...
'cause I believe...
that auto-clicker is WAY faster than I am. That did it in no time at all.
Boink! Whoops..
Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink...
(extremely high pitched) Bing!
Oooh..
Wait..
What happened?
"An ingredient to rule them all, and what do we do now?"
Well, I dunno!
What do we do now??
"Random Fact #10000: Even if you say you don't like mayonnaise, it's impossible that it's in some of your favorite foods."
Oh, it's possible.
Okay...
Uhh...
Wait, hang on. What is this?
Oh god! Raining poops! How did I have that?!
Ugh, Jeez!
Heh, what about this?
And then it's a mime!
Okay, good.
But now, this.
What do we got?
*small gasp of disbelief*
"Open yourself to others...Just like you opened this jar of Mayo!"
Well, I guess if I clicked it enough, it would've happened!
Aw, it's a life lesson to end the episode!
YEAAAAHHH!!
So, thank you, everybody, so much for watching!
This game was absolutely ridiculous, and I loved it for it!
So, thanks again! If you wanna play it...
I mean, not that there's not much else to play, but I'll put the link in the description below.
Thank you everybody so much for watching, and as always I will see you in the next video!
Buh-bye!
*Outro Music: 'Crazy La Paint'*