- This is Blake Griffon's shoe.
And I use it as a murse, a male purse.
We're Eskimo brothers.
(laughing)
(soft upbeat music)
Oh my God!
- I didn't know you had plans with Lincoln.
- We don't have plans, we're just gonna have sex
at one of these dog's apartments.
- Super classy.
- I'd do it, I'd pick up your poop.
You're worth it. But I won't make out with you,
that's what white people do, that dog thing.
Black people don't make out with dogs.
Gotta head back to the office.
One of these dumb kids broke his jaw on a jawbreaker.
Why would you do that?
It does exactly what it says it's gonna do.
- Lincoln you give all these dogs all your love
and now you're leaving me tight and dry.
- I'll kick it with you later. - Okay cool.
- See you later Jedo-Zo.
- Is that his name?
- Yeah I name them based on their personalities,
it's Jedo-Zo, there's Dumb Face, that's Ball Sack
and that is star of Ugly Betty,
and Who's the Boss, Judith Light.
- Oh my God! - Oh my God!
She is!
That's so Judith! - Dead on.
- All right, I'll see y'all later.
- All right peace. - Later Judith.
- Hey where are you?
- I'm at that dog shelter.
- Lincoln, just get a dog!
- Elana, I can't inflict upon a dog
the crazy life of a dentist.
(snoring softly) - Get up, it's time for work!
(groaning)
Where are you going?
- To brush my teeth.
- Well what are you gonna wear?
- Scrubs?
- Can you show me the dimensions of your armoire?
- What?
- Just do it.
(giggling)
- What?
(giggling)
Oh!
Yeah!
- Oh my God!
You look so good together!
(laughing)
Killed it, nailed it!
- You know, I always thought about bein' a dog uncle.
Comin' in and out of the dog's life,
all about fun and games and treats and toys.
Bein' a dog dad is different.
It's a lot of responsibility.
That's a big choice to make for another person.
- You know what's also a big choice?
Killing a dog.
And that's what was gonna happen to her today.
But you know I get it, if you feel a six figure
salary isn't enough to support a tiny dog.
- No, no, no, no, no, God, no.
- 'Cause I could take her back.
- She's precious and beautiful.
I love her.
How long was the dog in the box?
- I just wanna smush you and eat you up!
I'm turnin' into my mother.
(soft upbeat music)
Hello my name is Flow, everyone say hello Flow!
- [All] Hello Flow.
- And I can do lots of dances, I can do the ridin' man.
(laughing)
I can do the Roger Rabbit.
I went into the park and I did some jumpin' jacks today.
One, two, three, four.
I'm fun.
I love weddin's, I crush at weddin's.
Wait 'til you see me on the dance floor.
Hey!
- Hey! - You guys missed it,
I just did the worm! - You can do the worm?
- Yeah.
- You barely move.
- What?
- Wow!
- Lincoln, I don't know if that's--
- No, let him have this.
- And I do peck jumps.
- [Elana] (gasping) Do that again!
(laughing)
- [Woman] Is there something in your shirt?
- No.
(giggling)
(laughing)
(sensual music)
(farting softly)
(soft upbeat music)
Hello.
That's what I like.
I don't light it.
- Love it. (laughing)
(farting softly)
Don't even, it's.
- I'm a grown man, so I should have more control
over my pelvic floor, that's all.
- No, farts are part of the total relationship package.
- Yeah?
- Watch this.
(farting aggressively)
Yes!
(farting aggressively)
Yes.
(laughing)
(farting aggressively)
- It is like a break dance battle but not at all.
(farting aggressively)
That was different from the others.
- Oh God, excuse me one second.
(squealing)
- Elana, have some perspective,
you shat yourself at a party five weeks ago.
- Calling doctor Rice, I have a bad cavity
that needs to get drilled.
(farting softly)
Fa!
Be!
He, he, who!
What do they do?
- Put your head out of the window now for fresh air.
(groaning)
(farting aggressively)
(groaning)
- Please keep your head out of the window okay?
- You keep your head outta the window.
(farting aggressively)
You keep your head out too.
(coughing softly) - Jesus Christ.
(soft upbeat music)
- Lincoln, hey, woo!
(humming softly)
- My Lincoln town car.
- But this is a Prius, right?
- Yeah but I call it that 'cause my name is Loncoln
and I'm gonna drive around town in my car.
(laughing)
Should I put my Lincoln log on one of these cans?
- That is so sweet.
Abby would love it.
- If I ever get my own food truck
I'm gonna call it Lincoln Center.
- That is genius!
(soft upbeat music)
Who teaches the bucket drummers?
I never seen a bucket drummer class listed anywhere.
Abby, you gotta start somewhere.
Look at the Hardy Boys, they started out
as kid detectives just solvin' mysteries in Bay Port
and now they have an entire book series about them.
- Yeah definitely but you know they
are fictional characters but I appreciate
the sentiment behind it.
Thanks for comin' Lincoln.
- I really haven't thought about it but
I'd be Posh Spice.
- Oh you're so Posh Spice.
I wish there could have been a Latina one,
called Spicey Spice but this is just a fantasy.
- Open your eyes man,
Shakira is Spicey Spice.
- Oh my God.
You're a genius.
- [Elana] Woo!
(cheering enthusiastically)
(chuckling)
Amazing!
- You saw me, I was flying.
- Why are you doing this?
- I saw it on an episode of Sex and the City.
- Yes. - Yeah.
The Miranda in me, thought I'm outta my comfort zone
but the Carrie in me couldn't resist so I did it.
With great power comes great responsibility.
- Teddy Roosevelt.
- Spider-Man.
- Oo even better.
- It's weird you seein' me in a random suitcase.
But you still have my suitcase
and that's a visual reminder of me.
So this train of mental hallucination makes sense.
- Don't I make sense?
- Get back to business.
Wow Elana, Pegasus, this is what you always wanted,
this is your dream!
Kudos!
(soft upbeat music)
- Okay I gotta hash this out.
Like are we aiming at forever?
That seems ridiculous.
- Oh, that's cra--
I don't wanna do anything forever.
I like spaghetti but I don't wanna die with spaghetti.
I mean I might but I don't know yet.
I wanna take this one day at a time,
the same way I take spaghetti.
- Yeah 'cause a lifetime sounds ominous and scary.
- Yeah, 'cause lifetime imply's death.
Think about it like this, let's say you won
a lifetime supply of Doritos.
- I'm listening.
- At first, you'd be psyched, I got all these Doritos
then after a while every time you went to grab
a bag of Doritos, you're like, oh I wanna die.
(sighing)
So this is what I propose, we do it for a year,
short term and then after that year
we check in with each other.
See how it's goin', like a phone contract.
- God I love that.
'Cause I can do that.
And thank you for all of the food metaphors.
- You're welcome.
And I was eatin' spaghetti and Doritos yesterday,
that's probably why my farts smelled so violent.
- Right.
- I'm gonna avoid that combination in the future.
- I'd really appreciate that.
All right Lincoln.
Shall we?
(upbeat music)
As we look ahead at the upcoming year,
I would like to discuss the deal points regarding
sexual exploration, starting with, the roller coaster idea.
- That's a no for me dog.
Roller coasters are already scary enough
without me havin' my dick out.
Plus there's pictures and they project the pictures
at the end, nobody should see that.
- I just think it would be thrilling.
- I can give you ferris wheel.
- Deal.
I like that better actually.
Up and down vibes.
- I'd like to bring up the item of Rom-Coms.
- Don't know where we're gonna begin on this Lincoln.
- I wanna watch four Rom-Coms a year.
- I object because they are offensive to women.
- That is subjective.
- I gotta push back and I'll give ya two.
- Three.
No laughing at them, only laughing with them.
- I'll give ya two laughing at them,
and one laughing with them.
- Deal.
- Woo.
- Can I approach the bench?
- Yes you can.