hey what's going on YouTube this is your certified life and relationship coach coach Court and in
today's video I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen when you go no contact with a dismissive
avoidant thank you for sticking around if this is your first time viewing me do me a
favor and subscribe to the channel by clicking that subscribe button and rigging a little bell
so you'll be notified for the latest content I've seen a ton of coaches make videos about no contact
and no contact rule but there are very specific things that will happen with a person if you go
in no contact with them and they have a certain attachment style this video I want to talk to you
about what will happen when you go into no contact with a dismissive avoidant it is completely
different than any other one of the other attachment styles the dismissive avoidant right
away when you go no contact with them if they were the one to break up with you or vice versa they're
going to feel some sort of relief you gotta remember the dismissive avoidant they're taking
a gamble by getting into a committed relationship with you and when they let people close to them
it's tough for them because they don't like to be vulnerable so when you break up with them or vice
versa they're gonna automatically feel relief they're gonna feel like alright I can have my
freedom I can have my autonomy back I can have my space so when you if you're waiting on them
to reach out to you I wouldn't hold my breath because they typically don't like to be friends
after they'll cut off the communication with you they'll feel like alright you're moving on with
your life and want to move on with mine this thing that we had they have a view of you know you being
the one and if you're not the one because they have an unrealistic view of what relationships
are supposed to be and this is something that was forming their childhood they kind of struggle a
lot with the all-or-nothing thinking error they feel as if you're not the person for them there's
no more wasting their time with you you're just not what they picture you to be because they tend
to picture other people that they're with they put them on a pedestal and when they see the flaws in
them which they do don't forget the dismissive avoidant like I talked about in my other videos
they look for the flaws in a person just so they can come up with a reason to distance himself and
come to the conclusion that this person isn't for them so they're always looking for the red flags
and they will find them so when you go no contact with the dismissive avoidant don't expect them to
reach out to you they won't text you because think about it when you were in a relationship
with them chances are you were the one to initiate most of the contact you wouldn't want to do a lot
of texting first because they feel like they don't have to do that they're in their own world they're
doing their own thing and they don't feel as if they need to be connected with you especially
if things aren't aren't going well things are going rocky there they definitely will try to
distance themselves emotionally and start there deactivating strategies and distancing is one of
their deactivating strategies will they come back chances are they don't lose their feelings for
you they're just like everybody else they don't lose their feelings for you but it's gonna take
a while for them to start feeling the break-up in the beginning they'll feel the relief the initial
relief and then after about you know eight weeks around a two-month mark don't start to reimagine
a relationship and starting to actually grieve for the relationship and I had somebody comment
on my one of my other videos saying it takes two and a half months that's ridiculous I guess
that's just how they process things they start to really grieve the relationship later on far
later on down the line than the other attachment styles they don't want to feel that pain and that
disappointment that comes with breaking up they have a hard time accepting it they really sit and
think about just what went wrong later on maybe a month and a half to two months down the line
that's when you will want to reach out to them and see how they're doing if they were to reach out to
you beforehand like before that that month and a half two month mark it's probably to come up
with some kind of excuse to get you to talk to them they'll act they'll say hey I left at your
house or you left something in my house how do you want to organize this how do you want to get this
thing settled they don't want to look vulnerable and they don't want to make it seem like they're
actually chasing after you that's one of their biggest fears they don't want people to feel like
they have to rely on them and like they need them in their life because that's just something that
is like that goes all the way back to their core wounds when they needed somebody needed either
their own caregiver or their parent that person wasn't there for them when they really needed
them in their developmental states or their previous relationships that didn't work out
when they reached out for that person they really let them down so now they put these
walls up and if you were to go no contact with them they're gonna automatically assume like
oh this person is leaving me just like everybody else that gets legit I've been I've coached many
people who feel that exact same way that have the dismissive avoidant style so that's what
they'll feel when they're in no contact and you have a much better chance of about getting them
back if you were to keep things light don't try to force the relationship don't try to get them back
right away because what's gonna happen is they're just gonna get really annoyed with you and they're
gonna get angry because they're gonna they're gonna feel like you're trying to control them
and force them into doing something that they're not comfortable doing you have to let them do that
on their own you have to let them come to you when they they feel like they have gotten over
the negative emotions that they feel from the breakup and I've had people say that they were
in relationships with dismissive avoidants and they reached out to them the dismissive reached
out to them and just to create small talk and the reason they do that is because they want to see
where you stand mentally and if you actually still miss them they won't come straight out and say it
because they're just not gonna do it it doesn't feel good to them it doesn't feel rejection
feels horrible to them as honestly rejection is probably one of the biggest fears of a dismissive
avoidant it's how they primarily operate when a dismissive avoidant style was being formed they
had to basically do things on their known they were independent they had to learn how to pretty
much do everything they had to become adults quicker than they wanted to be so when somebody
comes into their life and tells them hey you're not doing this the right way or you can do this
much more efficiently they kind of feel insulted like look I've done this and it's work for me so
don't come into my life and trying to make me do things the way you want to do it they have a hard
time making changes and and dealing with change that's why they like to keep things simple in the
way that they know would work because it's always worked for them can you get a dismissive avoidant
back yes but it's very difficult it takes a lot of work it's gonna take a lot of trust building
because if you guys broke up and they felt like the relationship just wasn't going the way they
wanted it to or like you're not the one for them it's gonna take a lot of rebuilding of
their trust to get them back is it worth it I would say that it is because dismissives
can be some of the most fulfilling relationship that you can have but on the flip side they are
the ones that will most likely this is just a general rule have short-term hookups in between
you guys breaking up because they are okay with having these superficial relationships and not
dealing with relationships that involves too much emotional engagement they're just like everybody
else we're all human and we want companionship and we want love but the dismissive avoidant when a
person gets way too close to them they can't they can't sustain it for a really long time because
they're gonna start looking for their exit so if you found this video of any value please like
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