- Do you know someone who is always negative
or someone who gets really mad at little things,
like how the person in front of them is walking too slowly.
Or how the phone didn't charge properly
from the night before.
I think at some point we all experience
these kinds of emotions.
But today I'm going to share with you my weird life hack,
that will not only make those negative feelings go away,
but it will instantly make you feel happy.
And I'm going to do it by sharing with you
the unbelievable story of my friend Ben.
Ben was born in Los Angeles, California.
His parents bought him pretty much anything
that he wanted from bikes,
toys, gaming consoles, everything.
And they did this because they wanted to keep Ben busy.
Because the parents were working all the time.
But as the years went by, Ben started to become bored.
And he would always want the next coolest gaming console,
or the newest cell phone.
And this environment made it hard for Ben
to ever feel content and happy with himself.
Instead of having someone to talk to,
he was just given more and more stuff.
And this seemingly small issue during his childhood
would be the thing that would almost ruin his entire life.
Fast forward 15 years and Ben had now become
the head negotiator for one of the world's biggest airlines
called Legacy Air.
This job helped Ben support his childhood habit
of always buying the newest toy.
But whenever he would buy that new watch
or buy that new jacket,
he would experience temporary happiness,
but it would always wear off.
And he would be left with that incomplete feeling
that he had been experiencing since childhood.
After some time, things start to get really bad for Ben.
The more he tried to fill that hole inside of him
with new stuff, the bigger the hole became.
And he started to blame his friends,
his family and even his girlfriend for his unhappiness.
He would always laugh out at them
and he would point out their flaws
and their imperfections whenever they tried to help him.
As a result of this, Ben lost his friends
and contact with most of his family.
But worst of all his long-term girlfriend
decided to leave him.
Ben felt alone with no one to talk to and he slowly entered
a very dark and depressed state of mind.
The only thing that Ben wanted was to end up
like those people in movies,
who would live happily ever after
with the white picket fence.
But Ben knew that if things stayed the exact same,
then he would end up miserable and alone.
Like the way he was right now.
So Ben needed to figure out why he wasn't happy
and how to fix it.
But he had no idea how to do this.
The following week Ben received a phone call
from his work with some interesting news.
He was given the opportunity to move to India for six months
to represent Legacy Air in some international negotiations.
Ben thought to himself that's why I'm not happy.
It's this stupid superficial city.
Everyone here is so fake,
they all want to take something from you,
or they're trying to sell something to you.
If I go over there, I'll meet the right people
and then I'll come back and be a happy person.
So Ben took the offer with the goal to find his answers
over in India, but little did he know.
There was something much, much bigger
waiting for him over there.
When he got there he was totally culture shock.
There were people everywhere.
There were wild dogs running around.
He couldn't even read signs, let alone talk to anyone.
But luckily the airline had assigned him
a local personal assistant who would show him around.
And he would even drive Ben
to and from work every single day.
His name was Azar.
Despite staying in one of the nicest hotels in India,
Ben was very, very unhappy.
And if you asked him why he would tell you
that it was because he hated the hotel,
he hated the traffic, he hated how loud everything was.
He hated how hot it was.
He hated pretty much everything.
And he felt more miserable there than he ever did back home.
And it was pushing him to a mental and emotional breakdown.
On the way home from work one day,
Azar asked Ben so how are you settling in?
And out of nowhere Ben just started ranting
about all the things that he hated about India.
He said I don't know how anyone could even live here,
in these conditions.
How can anyone ever be happy here?
I'm miserable.
Azar pulled the car over and with a big smile on his face,
he turned to Ben and said I want to take you somewhere.
Where, Ben said.
A place that you will never ever forget.
Fine, whatever.
Anywhere is better than this terrible hotel, Ben said.
They started driving outside of the city,
and slowly the buildings became more run down
and the roads became more damaged,
and everything just looked poor.
After driving for about an hour and a half,
they finally got to this house
that basically looked like a small wooden hut,
the moment when Ben got out of the car,
he felt very uncomfortable and scared.
He had never seen so much poverty in one area.
And he was worried that Azar
was going to rob him or something.
He had no idea what was going on.
Azar took Ben inside the mysterious house,
where they saw this elderly lady doing the dishes.
And there were also four small kids were running around,
who were all laughing and smiling.
Ben meet Anika, my grandmother.
Anika turned around and said namaste.
Ben will you be joining us for dinner?
He sure will be, Azar said.
They sat down on the floor and then everyone started to eat
just from using their hands.
Ben had barely said a word, the entire time.
He couldn't believe how there were five people
living in the small two room hut with no air-conditioning,
no microwave, no table, no cutlery.
They barely had anything.
Yet, everyone looked so happy.
They finished up the food and then they said goodbye.
On the drive home Azar turned to Ben and said,
Ben I'm confused about something.
What is that, Ben said.
You live in the nicest hotel in all of India.
You have one of the coolest jobs in all of India.
You have more money than most people in India.
Yet, you appear to be one of the saddest people
in all of India.
Why do you think that is?
Ben paused for a moment.
And said I don't, I don't know.
You keep blaming everything around you
for why you were not happy.
Perhaps the problem is actually inside you.
Ben just looked at him, unsure what to say.
How about this?
After work I can either take you back to this luxury hotel
and you can keep doing whatever it is that you do here
and complain about everything.
Or I can take you to see more of the slums in India,
where you can explore the truth
about what is really going on with you.
Let me know tomorrow.
When he got to the hotel, he started to think
about what Azar said.
And for the first time in his entire life,
he looked inwardly, as opposed to looking outwardly,
for the cause of his unhappiness.
He could not deny that the family he met today was happy
and Azar was happy and they all have much less than he did.
Maybe there is something wrong with me,
Ben thought to himself.
When he went to bed that night,
it didn't seem as hot, the bed didn't seem as uncomfortable
and the noise seemed quieter.
Te next day Azar was there to pick Ben up from work
and he said so Ben where are we going?
Ben looked at him and said,
take me to the worst slum in India.
So that day and every week for the next four months
they would go to different slums in India,
and Ben could not believe how much poverty there was
in this country.
He would see families barely having enough food to eat.
He would see kids who were homeless on the street,
who would light up with a smile
when somebody gave them a single candy bar.
Seeing this type of extreme poverty made Ben appreciate
what he did have in his life.
And seeing how happy some of the families were here,
despite this poverty, made Ben realize
that happiness does not come from stuff.
He'd been trying to buy his happiness from external things.
On his last day in India, Azar said something to Ben
that he will never forget.
He said if you ever catch yourself getting mad
at those little pointless things, just do this.
Take a moment to appreciate how you have a roof
over your head or how you live in a safe country,
or how you have food to eat every single day.
Appreciate how you have arms that work,
legs that worker how you have a heart that works.
And you got all of this completely free.
No car, no watch, no toy
will ever make you feel happy or complete.
This must come from within.
They hugged and Ben went home.