LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN YOU'VE SEEN
IN "GRACE AND FRANKIE," "BURNING LOVE," AND "NEW GIRL."
PLEASE WELCOME JUNE DIANE RAPHAEL.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HELLO, JUNE DIANE RAPHAEL.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT MY SLEEVES.
>> Stephen: I'LL MOVE THE CUP.
I'LL MOVE THE CUP LIKE THIS.
YOU HAVE ROOM FOR YOUR SLEEVES.
>> AND I HAVE MY WATER IN HERE.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK TO NEW YORK.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU'RE FROM AROUND HERE, LONG ISLAND.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: LIKE EVERYBODY YOU GOT HAULED OUT TO LOS ANGELES.
>> YEAH, THE WEATHER CALLS.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU'RE BACK FOR A WHILE.
WELCOME BACK TO ENDLESS WINTER.
>> THANK YOU.
IT'S BEEN PRETTY SHOCKING.
I MEAN, I WAS JUST ON-- I WAS IN MONTREAL FOR ABOUT FOUR MONTHS.
AND -- >> Stephen: THAT'S PRETTY
COLD.
>> IT'S VERY COLD!
IT'S TOO COLD!
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE PEOPLE SHOULD MAYBE NOT LIVE THERE.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S SUCH A GORGEOUS CITY, BUT
IT FEELS LIKE, "OH, THIS ISN'T MEANT FOR HUMANS.
THIS ISN'T WHERE HUMANS SHOULD BE."
I HAVE TWO SMALL CHILDREN WHO GREW UP IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
AND THEY ARE AND WERE SHOCKED BY THE WEATHER.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I TOOK THEM OUTSIDE, AND THE OLDEST, THE TODDLER JUST STARTED
SCREAMING, "OW!
OW, IT HURTS.
IT HURTS HERE!" >> WE'RE TALKING BELOW ZERO
THERE.
>> YES.
WE WERE IN MONTREAL AFTER THE HOLIDAYS.
>> Stephen: NEGATIVE 20 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AT NIGHT.
>> AND THERE WERE MANY DAYS WHEN WE COULDN'T GO OUTSIDE, AND WE
WERE RENTING AN APARTMENT, AND YOU'RE JUST TOLD YOU CAN'T BRING
KIDS OUTS.
AND WE WERE FINDING THINGS TO DO IN AN APARTMENT BUILDING THAT
WERE NOT ACTIVITIES.
"LET'S GO TO THE LOBBY AND LOOK AT THE MAILBOXES!"
>> Stephen: "GARBAGE CHUTE!
GARBAGE CHUTE!" >> THAT WAS HUGE.
>> Stephen: AND "WHO WANTS A RIDE?"
>> AN ELEVATOR RIDE, THAT'S A SOILED LAFL HOUR.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD ARE THESE TWO YOUNG DISWREERS THEY'RE
THREE AND A HALF AND ONE WHAT I HAVE.
>> Stephen: AND YOUR LOVELY HUSBAND PAUL SCHER HAS BEEN A
GUEST ON THIS SHOW.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND DO YOU GUYS OFTEN TRAVEL WITH THE CHILDREN?
>> UNFORTUNATELY, YES, WE DO.
>> Stephen: ARE THEY GOOD TRAVELERS.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I MEAN, ARE ANY CHILDREN GOOD TRAVELERS?
I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE WE HEAD ON TO THAT AIRPLANE AND IT IS JUST-- IT'S
OUR DUNKIRK.
IT IS JUST--
IT IS JUST... I'M MY WORST SELF, YOU KNOW.
I HATE THEM.
I HATE OTHER PASSENGERS.
I HATE THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS.
I HATE MY HUSBAND.
A LOT!
( LAUGHTER ) I THINK I HATE MYSELF MOST OF
ALL.
BUT WE'VE JUST HAD SOME REALLY-- ONE OF THE LAST TRIPS WE DID
BACK FROM MONTREAL TO L.A., OUR BABY-BABY, WHO WAS 16 MONTHS AT
THIS TIME, CUTTING TWO ENORMOUS TEETH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A LONG FLIGHT.
>> IT IS CRAZY LONG.
AGAIN, TOO COLD TOO, LONG!
AND NOTHING TO BE DONE.
LIKE, WE'RE ON THAT PLANE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> IT IS-- WE'RE TRAPPED.
>> Stephen: WITH A TEETHING BABY.
>> WITH A TEETHING BABY WHO CRIED FOOR THIS IS NOT AN
EXAGGERATION-- ONE HOUR.
I CLOCKED IT, AND IT BEGINS...
IT WAS ONE HOUR.
AND WE'RE JUST DISGUSTING PLANE PEOPLE.
LIKE, MY HAIR'S IN A BUN THAT'S RIGHT HERE, AND WE'RE JUST
GROSS.
AND THE ONLY WAY HE WOULD STOP CRYING IS FIWALKED UP AND DOWN
THE AISLE.
AND BY "STOPPED" I MEAN LESS LOUDLY.
>> Stephen: SO YOU WERE SPREADING THE CRYING UP AND DOWN
THE PLANE.
>> YES, YES.
>> Stephen: VERY GENEROUS OF YOU.
>> AN EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY, HORRIBLE PLANE RIDE FOR
EVERYONE.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> BUT I'M ALSO OF THE MIND, WE'RE ALL HERE TOGETHER.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.
SO I'M WALKING UP AND DOWN THE AISLE, AND PEOPLE ARE, FOR THE
MOST PART, VERY KIND.
AND I SEE SEVERAL PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME, YOU KNOW, VERY GENEROUSLY
AND KINDLY.
BUT I PASSED THIS ONE WOMAN, AND I'M KIND OF CREATING SPACE FOR
HER TO MOVE BY AND LEANING INTO OTHER PEOPLE.
AND SHE GOES, "AH!" LIKE THAT'S-- THAT TO ME.
AND I JUST LOST MY MIND.
( LAUGHTER ) I WENT CRAZY.
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- DID YOU HURT ANYONE?
>> WELL...
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I'VE HAD A WIFE WITH A SMALL CHILD, AND SHE
MURDERED SEVERAL PEOPLE.
>> NO, I'M NOT SURPRISED.
THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
I HAD A QUICK, LIKE, REALITY CHECK OF "YOU'RE HOLDING YOUR
BABY."
>> Stephen: DON'T LASH OUT.
>> "CURB YOUR VIOLENCE."
I WALKED OVER TO PAUL, MY HUSBAND, AND I SAID, "A WOMAN
JUST GAVE ME A REALLY NEWSCASTO LOOK AND SOUND, AND I'M ABOUT TO
LOSE MY MIND."
AND HE SAID, "LET ME HOLD THE BABY."
AND I SAID, "NO."
AND I WALKED OVER TO HER, AND I FOUND HER ON THE AIRPLANE.
YEAH, I'M NOT WELL.
I'M NOT A WELL PERSON.
AND I WALK OVER TO HER, AND I SEE HER, AND SHE SEES ME AND
THEN JUST CLOSES HER EYES.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SHE PLAYS POSJIEWM
YES.
SHE PLAYED POSSUM.
AND THE BABY IS SCREAMING, AND I JUST STOOD THERE FOR A WHILE TO
LET HIM SCREAM AND LET HER JUST, LIKE, EXPERIENCE IT.
>> Stephen: JUST TO IRRIGATE HER WITH THE NOISE A LITTLE BIT.
>> YES, EXACTLY.
AND THEN I JUST LEANED DOWN, AND I WHISPERED IN HER EAR, "I SEE
YOU."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: YOU GET DRAGGED OFF THE FLIGHT.
YOU GET DRAGGED OFF THE FLIGHT BY YOUR FEET.
GOOD FOR YOU!
GOOD FOR YOU.
>> I JUST WANTED TO LET HER KNOW, I SEE YOU!
>> Stephen: SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FLIGHT BACK.
"GRACE AND FRANKIE" IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX
NOW. JUNE DIANE RAPHAEL, EVERYBODY.