-Last time we were here, you talked.
you said, "I think I might go around and do the show."
-Yeah. -And you did it.
-We did -- yeah, 33 cities. -Gosh.
-It's the first time I've been on stage as a stand-up
really in years and years, and I had the best time, and...
-What was the show called?
-"Spend the Night with Billy Crystal."
[ Laughter ] Yeah, and that's what it
basically was. It was -- it was -- it was
basically like this.
I had the wonderful Bonnie Hunt with me and we did a talk show.
And I did the two and a half hours.
And it was like, questions would lead into material,
and we just -- and we just,
you know, toured the entire country,
and it was -- the audiences were phenomenal.
-Yeah, I heard it got great reviews.
Where did you end up? -We started in Washington.
We started in Miami, where everybody looked like
one of my relatives. [ Laughter ]
-Oh, yeah.
-And everyone -- all the women had a lot of --
lot of plastic surgery.
so all the women looked surprised, you know?
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
"Billy! Hi, Billy!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
"You look fantastic. You really look fantastic."
[ Laughter continues ]
"Sy, Sy, look how good he looks!
Doesn't he look good, Sy? Sy?"
And then the husband comes and then comes -- and he's had
an eye job, so he looks like a tropical fish,
and it's just...it's just... [ Laughter and applause ]
"I don't even believe in soap."
[ Laughter and applause ] Soap and then..." So...
We're in West Palm Beach, and I-I get on stage,
and the audience is a little older.
-Yeah. -The hair colors were --
It was like Vermont in the fall, I mean...
[ Laughter and applause ]
I'd never seen anything like it in my life, yeah.
So but then we -- so we went all across the country.
Jimmy, I know you love theaters. -Yeah.
-We played the greatest old theaters that --
Like the Fox in Atlanta was the --
-Ah! Fox Theatre is great. -It's phenomenal.
That's where they had the --
the premiere for "Gone With the Wind."
-Yeah. -And then we played all
these amazing -- Seattle, the theater was built in the '20s,
the Majestic in San Antonio.
It was unbelievable, then we end up in this big casino,
just outside Washington, D.C. -Okay.
-It's a, uh, an MGM and it's -- -Okay.
-A huge theater. It's like 3,000 seats or something,
and... [ Clears throat ] so closing night,
and the audiences were great all over the place.
And the show was very much like a -- like a living documentary.
I mean, we show film clips, and it's really loose and fun.
It's very -- there's no shape. It's just -- I just go crazy.
-Yeah. -In the best way.
And so there's one little political segment.
And I'm not a big puncher, you know.
And so there was one -- you know, it was right
after the inauguration and I was saying,
you know, this guy -- he's so unpredictable.
I think this may be the first time the Secret Service
wrestles the President to the ground...
[ Laughter ] -...to keep him safe from us.
I mean his approval rating is 38. The Zika virus is 40!
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ] -That's a great one.
-So... -[ Laughs ]
So then from out of the darkness --
and the place does that. -Yeah.
-They go crazy. Out of the darkness, a woman yells,
and it's always harder to deal with a woman heckler.
-Yeah. -"Honor the President!"
And the crowd boos her. They boo her.
So I said, "Listen, everybody. I'll handle this.
I went to school for this." [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. I'm Billy Crystal, yeah.
-"What, ma'am?" She says, "honor the President!"
Now she's getting madder. They boo her again.
I said, "no, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. This is just humor.
These are just jokes, you know." -Yeah.
"And I totally appreciate that -- how you feel about him.
"That's your right and everything.
These are just -- we're just having a good..."
She yells it again -- "honor the President!"
So you feel like you're losing the show, so I said,
"Ma'am, I'm going to use your own President's words on you
if you love him so much -- Get her out."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Rim shot, band plays fanfare ]
So...the audience stands up and they -- they took her out,
you know, with a, "I'll get you!" And then...
So, after the show, I do these meet and greets
where people pay more money and they come backstage,
And you take a picture with them.
You get to mingle and talk with them.
Her husband comes backstage. -Oh!
-He stayed? -He stayed!
[ Laughter and applause ]
He said, "I love you."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I mean, come on, how great is that?
-It was fun. it was fun. -That is fantastic.
-You know, but it's -- it's a really interesting time. Yeah.
-Well, I can't -- I can't thank you enough for coming here.
You know, every single time you're around,
I want you to come here, but you're more than welcome
to come to any -- my house, whatever you want to do.
You can hang out here all week. We love you.
-Well, it's great to be here, you know?
it's -- what I love is that I'm not pushing anything,
I just wanted to hang with you and then I -- great to work --
Who was the other guy in the sketch with us?
-Keegan-Michael Key? -No, no, the other guy.
-Justin Timberlake.
-He's funny. [ Laughter and applause ]
- Billy Crystal, everybody! Billy Crystal!