- All of that still counts as a relationship.
- Pinky ring till I get a wedding ring.
- Oh, we going there?
- I am shocked at what I've heard today.
(talking over each other)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, order in the court!
(dramatic music)
(intense music)
- Hi, my name is Judge Joyce,
and I've been settling petty disputes
since the day I was born because I'm a bad (bleep).
And I'm joined by my right-hander, Gadiel, my baliff.
- You know what it is
Plaintiff Kayline is bringing defendant Michael
to Petty Court today
as there has been endless debate
over the age old question,
can exes be friends?
Welcome to Petty Court, Michael and Kayline.
- Looking forward to today's ruling.
Hoping to finally put this issue in the past
and ready to move on.
- In the past.
Okay, all right.
- Let's hear the story from the plaintiff.
- Okay, I am bringing Michael here to court
because I do think in fact that exes can be friends,
seeing that we have been friends,
and in a relationship for about seven years.
We started out sophomore year of college,
as friends, and then eventually,
he left the friend zone,
and now I feel like it would make sense
that we would still be friends,
seeing that we started as friends.
- Okay okay, the defendant, speaks his case, Michael.
- As it pertains to this case, Your Honor,
in my opinion, I do not believe exes can be friends
for the following reasons.
The plaintiff has demonstrated jealous behavior in the past.
Which is detrimental to the wellbeing of the defendant,
myself, and anybody involved with the defendant,
so you can see how that can be problematic.
- Your Honor, may I interject,
just a little bit here?
- Absolutely, Kayline.
- Well, I would like to point out that the moment
that this person here is referring to,
is actually during college.
You know, college life, you're a little here and there,
everywhere, you don't really know
who you are just yet.
We are now three years out of college.
I think we have both shown signs of maturity
and I think that a friendship can in fact evolve.
- Your Honor, it's interesting
that we're having this discussion about exes,
seeing that Kayline and I are not exes
in the traditional sense.
- Oh, we going there?
Really?
- Yes ma'am, we are going there.
- Okay, okay!
- The court is-
- As the Drake line goes,
"Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring."
And Kayline and I,
I'd say we were in a seven year situationship.
If anything. - [Kayline] What?
- And, with that being said,
I don't even know why we're in the court today.
- First so all, okay,
because now you getting me out of my professional, okay-
- Order in the court!
Order in the court.
Kayline you may speak.
- Number one, I feel like that is the issue
with this generation,
and this is a prime example.
Investing time, investing love,
investing yourself into another person,
regardless of if it was boyfriend and girlfriend,
still counts as a relationship, regardless.
Number one, eh eh, eh eh-
(Kayline and Michael talk over each other)
- Aye aye, whoa whoa whoa, order in the court!
Before I get my bayliff, my hitter.
- Yeah it's order in the court, calm down.
- Thank you, and number two,
if I do go back to my history here,
I do want to make it clear
that we did in fact date for at least a week.
Now, I get it, I get it,
that's nothing technically compared
to the seven year time span, right?
But at the end of the day,
was this man not someone
that I told all of my deepest darkest secrets to.
Was this not the one man
that I went to laugh with, yes.
So I think that is an argument-
- Wasn't that the one man that you played?
(guitar strum)
- Oh.
- Okay Michael, please come to the court
and speak your truth.
I wish I had some wine, let's get started.
- In the past,
and you may be asking, you know,
why didn't it work out between the two of us?
I'm here today to tell you
that it didn't work out
because the plaintiff was unserious about the defendant.
Oftentimes, she left the defendant for other people,
while I was here, taking care of the home.
You can understand how a resentment can develop and build
in large part due to her failures to be a good partner.
- Before you answer, Kayline,
I will say something.
This relationship, it sounds like a friends with benefits.
I do know Kayline on a personal level,
so I know that she was probably protecting herself
and her heart, but in a relationship,
it takes two to make a failure.
So let's make sure in this court, we are honest,
because petty always has a little bit of truth.
- I just wanna say that when I was very serious
about making a commitment to this man,
he, himself, I get it, like he wanted to protect himself
at that point.
He was not serious.
So I do feel as though we have never been
on the same page, which could also resolved
into why we are now exes,
and I also want to say that exes can be friends
because number one, I can give you examples.
We have Jason Momoa, right?
And Lisa Bonet, they're together, right?
But before she was with Lenny Kravitz,
and Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet have a great relationship
and the two guys actually-
- Your Honor-
- I'm sorry, I'm speaking. I'm sorry.
They have matching rings.
'Cause they're just so close.
So they are able to coexist together.
Another example, Will Smith and Jada and Sheree, okay?
They are doing their thing,
and they are raising multiple children together,
and they are all friends, okay?
- There are many cases of relationships
that didn't go well, or haven't gone well.
Large case in point, Ciara and Future.
Their relationship is problematic.
- He was trash!
- That's debatable and hearsay, Your Honor.
- All right all right,
let's bring the witness to the stand.
- Actually, Your Honor, I object.
The defense has not had any prior knowledge
of this witness entering the courtroom.
- Well, it's petty, so,
let the witness come up.
- Witness, please introduce yourself.
- Hello, my name is Jameer, I'm Kayline's coworker.
- You have to say the whole truth, real truth,
and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
(Jameer imitates bird chirping)
- Yep.
(laughing)
- I (audio cuts out) word. Or a-
- Word. - Let's get started.
- First of all Your Honor,
I am shocked at what I've heard today.
They were spilling tea that I didn't expect to be so hot.
- This is Petty Court.
If it ain't hot, then it's not gonna be
in this (bleep) courtroom.
- [Jameer] That is very true.
- Word, you're right Your Honor.
- Your Honor I do believe
in some instances that exes can be friends.
I think it takes an enormous amount of maturity,
and it also depends on how people broke up
and if they have healed from their prior breakup.
- How was your prior experiences?
We know you recently ended a relationship
in the course of the year.
- First of all, I don't like Petty Court,
because we bringing up bones
that I didn't even ask to bring up.
- Please answer the judge.
- I am in a healthy
friendship phase with my ex.
I apologize for wrongdoings.
She has apologized for wrongdoings as well,
we have kept distance from each other
but also remained in communication
that is healthy
and forward moving.
And not on backside Your Honor,
and by backside let the record show,
I mean clap those cheeks.
Somebody in this court, stenographer gonna write that down.
You know, if you're gonna be friends,
you got to be friends,
and that means, you can't do anything.
Not even the tip, Your Honor.
- Not even a thumb.
- Is my ex attractive enough
where you know, I would want to clap, sure, sure.
In a perfect world-
(clapping)
- [Judge Joyce] Mm-hmm.
- But I know I can't
because there are barriers and parameters
in which I have to protect.
- All right your honor,
we had enough of this man.
We're gonna bring the plaintiff and defendant.
- Just want to say what up to my, you know, my family,
what up y'all, woo hoo.
- All right, you can leave, thank you.
- [Jameer] Okay okay, bye.
- Have a good day.
Okay, I do want something to discuss.
A question I have for the defendant and plaintiff.
What is your sexual chemistry?
- Um.
- Your honor, I'd like
to exercise my Fifth Amendment Right to...
- Plead the Fifth?
- Plead the Fifth, yes, I'd like to plead the Fifth.
- What is your sign, your chart?
Please commence.
- Well I am a Cancer.
- Mm-hmm.
- Your honor, I am a Capricorn.
- Mmm.
- Do you see Gadiel, do you see what I'm saying?
- I do, I see what you're saying.
- You know, Water and Earth, Water and Earth.
Complete opposites, definitely someone,
Capricorn I can tell,
Michael that you are someone who comes
from a very balanced world,
but your issue is that you are not
as forgiving as you should be
because you hold people to the standards
that you have for yourself,
which is already too high,
which puts you in a place of constantly trying
to reach a goal
without ever realizing all the success you already have,
and you miss out on the fun parts of things.
Cancer, I mean let's talk about it.
I'm born and bred from a Cancer,
surrounded by Cancers, most of my hoes are Cancer.
I can't escape you.
The problem is that you guys don't know how to let go.
It's the issue of loving and caring
and appreciating someone so much,
that once that person cracks the shell,
they sit in the (bleep) little spot under your shell,
and you cannot let them go,
when the only person that you really need
to be there for, is yourself.
Put yourselfs up on a higher pedestal.
Kayline, I have one more question for you.
- Yes Your Honor.
- After what you've heard today,
do you even wanna still be friends with your ex?
- To be honest, because I know his heart,
I wanna say yes,
but because he thinks with his mind,
he definitely wouldn't be open to it,
so I guess the answer is no.
- Okay, I think I've heard enough,
and I have my final verdict.
(gavel thumping)
- All rise.
- I have come down for my final verdict.
(dramatic music)
My final verdict is neither because I do believe
that exes can be friends with time,
maturity, and being honest with yourselves,
and I think that both
of you aren't being honest with yourself.
Michael is putting up walls
because he has been hurt by you
and he is like most men.
When they've been hurt,
they put up walls so thick that they can't even see,
and Kayline you are fighting for a version
of your friendship that does not exist anymore.
You need to find a new friendship.
You guys are not going to have the same relationship.
There will not be moments of the same intimacy.
And the both of you still have feelings
for each other in some way,
so before you can even be friends,
you guys need to spend time apart
to heal the relationship, and end it for good.
You have to really start a new slate
and look at that person
like you're meeting them for the first time.
All right, I just want to thank you guys
for gathering in our court today.
Gadiel and I, we're gonna go get some chopped cheese,
'cause we're tired of this (bleep), so yeah.
- It's a mock sale.
- Thank you Your Honor, thank you Bailiff for your time,
and for clarity. - You're welcome.
Court is adjourned.
- Can I leave too?
Am I good?
- So I just came back from court,
and I do feel like Judge Joyce's ruling was interesting,
to say the least.
- It wasn't the ruling that I wanted to hear,
but perhaps it was the ruling that I needed to hear.
- You know, we make mistakes.
We all make mistakes.
And we can't take them back, but we can learn from them.
- And, hopefully one day,
when we're both emotionally mature enough,
we can eventually develop a friendship
that is healthy and respectful for both parties.
- Cause again, time heals all, so,
that's all I gotta say about that.
Thanks Judge Joyce.
(inspirational music)