Hi, I'm Nicholeen Peck and I teach about parenting good communication all over the
world through the lens of the principal self government and in this video,
we're going to be talking about how subjectivism destroys a moral upbringing.
So many children are being raised today by parents who are raising their children subjectively and
this actually can be really damaging to the child. So in this video, we're going to talk about what
that does to the child the relationships in the home, and actually what it does to society as
well. First, let's understand subjectivism. What is subjectivism? Subjectivism is when you are
making decisions or taking action based off what some other influence has fed you. Okay, so you're
very impressionable, meaning if you feel something coming from somebody else, then you are going to
fall into that same line of thinking very easily. This usually means that you don't necessarily
think for yourself, you're just following along with somebody else. An objective person,
by contrast would be a person who thinks things out for themselves who stays in that prefrontal
cortex instead of that emotional part of the brain so that they can do the maximum amount of
thinking and they make decisions consciously and deliberately. So intentional parents raise their
children very different than subjective parents and I've had other videos where I have discussed
the differences there and how to maintain more of an objective parenting. In this video, the let's
discuss what the subjective parenting actually does to the child. When a parent is subjective,
this means that they're usually highly emotionally charged. So whatever they want, whatever they feel
is what they do. If they like it, it's good. If they don't like it, it's bad. That's what it
means to be subjective. That means that you're basing all of your decisions and you're right,
wrong, good, bad, true, false off of your feelings, or the general feelings of those people around
you, which means you could be easily swayed or pressured into changing your opinion. If
a parent is parenting a child in this way, then what happens is the child ends up feeling like
they have to please the parent that the whole goal in life is to please the parent. Now, while our
children should want to obey parents, they should want to have a unified like very synergistic
relationship with parents where the parents teach, and they learn, and they like each other,
and they talk and communicate and get along, they should not feel like they have some sort of,
you know, fear associated with pleasing the parents, or that they have a feeling like well,
my parents future happiness is all on me, right? So many children, especially only
children will get that feeling like, well, if my parents are upset, it must be my fault. If
my parents divorced, it must be my fault. Oldest children also have a tendency to do this
when the parents are putting a lot of emotional pressure on the children because they're sharing a
lot of their emotions with the children in a way that really is not appropriate for a parent to
share with the child. Anyway, that can be a result that happens to the child. And that's really sad,
actually, because the child ends up feeling like their life really belongs to everybody else, and
they can't make decisions that benefit only them. But now they have to look at everybody else all of
the time. Now, we don't want selfish children. So this could seem like it's a decent thing,
if the child is at least conscious or aware of other people. But do they have to be controlled
by the emotions of the other person in order to understand the other person? No, they don't.
A person can stay in their prefrontal cortex and still be caring,
empathetic understanding of somebody else, but not be controlled by that other person's emotions.
Subjective parents end up creating children who are oftentimes very passive and subjective
themselves. They think that their emotions then carry a greater weight in their brain processing
than say, their logical or cognitive abilities, because they have allowed the emotions of the
other person to control them, they assume that their emotions should be allowed to control other
people, as well. So this is a very passive way of living for the child, they're not going to feel
empowered, they're going to feel always like they are subject to whatever is going on around them,
and that others should be subject to the way they feel. This means that there's going to be this
strange hierarchy that never ends where people are constantly emotionally dominating each other,
and nobody really knows which end is up. This is a confusing type of existence and is not
great for the children. So what do we do about that? Before we get to what we do for the
child and how we change the subjective parenting and also what is going to happen to our
society either way, click that subscribe button. There are a lot of great videos on this channel
that will help you be more objective in your parenting and in all of your communications
because it's all about self government. So click subscribe now. As you can see, the child ends up
feeling very lost and alone, which really does hurt the overall happiness of the child and
ends up damaging the family relationships as well. So if a parent is subjective,
they will hurt the family relationships, a child will not be able to learn properly if the family
relationships are damaged. So let's take this then to the societal level. What happens if the
child does not learn properly from the parents. If the child learns the wrong lessons, like how
to be emotionally manipulative or that everyone should bend to what they are feeling at the time,
if that happens, that changes the entirety of society, we end up creating a society where
everyone assumes that their feelings should be in control of everybody else. This means that we have
this power struggle for dominance or absolute control that will not stop. So no matter what
side of an issue you're on, whether you're on, you know, this side politically or this side,
politically, or this side ideologically, or this side ideologically, or religiously,
doesn't matter what side of an issue you are on, if you are subjective, you will always feel like
you have to push or force your issue on somebody else, you have to argue it out, war it out, instead
of allowing the truth like cream to rise to the top. When a person is more objective and they're
focused on looking at all the facts, they usually have a lot more patients and will allow the truth
to come to the top. The problem is societally if we feel like emotion wins all the arguments,
then we actually lose sight of truth all together. This is super detrimental for all of society,
but especially for our children who end up lost for the majority of their lives. So I make bills,
not like it's just something I do for fun. But I have written bills before to protect
children and families in my home state and as I talk to legislators there, they will say to me,
Nicholeen, that's a great idea for the bill, we do need to protect children because that is
definitely exploitation of children. However, I can't sell the bill unless you give me a story.
It's got to be an emotional story and we've got to have more than one if you've got it. Oh,
okay. Well, that's how you get a bill to go, I guess, you give somebody a bunch of emotion.
That's actually really sad, because what that means is we're not basing our bills on truth.
We're basing our bills on subjectivity. We're basing our bills on who feels the most emotion
and who can get the other people to feel a similar emotion. That's sad to me. That is so sad. But
that is what has happened in our society because we have subjectivism in our families in our homes,
we are not governing ourselves. So what is the solution? The solution is self government.
What is self government? Self government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any
given situation, and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them.
You also understand cause and effect as it relates to your behaviors, your thoughts,
if I think this thought I emote this way, but if I think this thought I emote this way which
one of those emotions is productive, and which is non productive. That's what a self governed
person does and this self government starts from being able to follow instructions from others,
then you can soon give yourself instruction, then also from being able to accept "no" answers and
criticism from others, and then being able to overtime, give yourself "no" answers and criticism,
correct yourself and disagree appropriately with others. So there are four basic skills
that I teach when I teach parents how to teach their children self government. But these four
basic skills are not just for children. They are following instructions, accepting "no" answers and
criticism, accepting consequences, and disagreeing appropriately. When a person learns those four
basic skills, they are ready to apply them to themselves in a self governed way and that
takes care of 99% of their behavioral problems that they might experience no matter their age.
I would like to share with you some tools for what you can do to be more objective in your parenting
so that you can help children have better lives. So if you've enjoyed this video, then I know you
love my next video, which is called subjective versus objective parenting. Click on the link to
that video now. I'll see you there. Bye.