Well, then stay tuned
because I'm gonna give them to you.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert, and an author.
In these videos, on this channel,
I give you powerful tips, tricks, and resources
on how to shift the dynamic and
feel strong, powerful and amazing
so that you can negotiate against narcissists and
also feel like you can be the most powerful person
in any room when you are dealing with the most
difficult and most toxic personalities on the planet.
If that sounds good to you,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
So, let's talk about how to have a
powerful mindset against narcissist because
honestly, when you're negotiating with them
or when you're dealing with them,
or managing them or trying to deal with
any kind of difficult personalities,
that's like the most difficult thing,
I get a lot of correspondence from people and
some of the most satisfying correspondence
that I get from people, is when people are like,
okay, I want my negotiation,
I got the results that I wanted, but
the most surprising thing that happened to me,
is that my fear disappeared, but that's actually
the most important thing that happens
because you cannot get the results you want, and
you cannot manage difficult people or toxic personalities
without that and that's actually,
the thing that has to cut you,
that you have to lead with because
they smell blood in the water and
that's why they know that they can
kind of target you and know that they can control you
because they look for people who are empaths,
they look for people who are kind of the bleeding hearts,
who have some sort of wounds,
who have some sort of… who really want to help people,
who really feel like can save you,
I can help you and to them, that doesn't mean
“Oh, I can help you. I can save you”
to them that means…
“Uhmm, I can take advantage of you”.
You think, “They're going to appreciate me”
“They're going to be, Wow, this person saved me”
“They're going to love me for it”
“They're gonna see all that I did for them”
That ain’t going to happen.
It's going to end up being a black hole.
You're going to end up feeling used,
you're going to end up feeling abused.
It's going to end up being this cycle,
where you're going to give, give, give,
then they're going to take, take take, and
it's going to keep going, going, going, and
here's the really kind of thing that's also sort of ironic
is like a lot of times people are like,
I'm afraid to like become strong against
the narcissist because I'm afraid of the backlash.
I'm afraid of the things that they're going to do to me.
I'm afraid of what's going to happen,
because they're going to be worse.
Well, yeah, they probably will be worse initially because,
you've conditioned them, they've conditioned you,
you've kind of conditioned each other in a lot of ways.
I mean, a lot of times you have a
long history with each other, and
that you've both kind of created a
conditioning of each other.
I mean, you both sort of pot each other,
what you will tolerate,
or how the relationship is going to go, and
there have been some expectations that
have been set on both sides as a result and
so creating a powerful mindset means
you're also going to have to create
some new boundaries, some new goals,
new ways of thinking for yourself, as well.
So, all right, so number 5,
I'm going to kind of work backwards with your secrets here,
5 secrets to having a powerful mindset against narcissists.
So, that's kind of like my preface to the whole thing here.
But, let's work backwards with our secrets.
I know that sounds easy,
but it's not all that easy sometimes.
I mean you can still end up in the trap of like,
can you believe they did this?
I can't believe they did that, on my gosh.
I mean, I remember having this conversation
with a client one time where she had this
huge situation with her soon-to-be ex
in the parking lot of the school and
it was like 8:00 or 8:30, she calls me at my office and
she was like, can you believe he did this
right in front of students, in front of the teachers?
Everybody was there, and I remember
saying to her, because she kept saying,
Can you believe he did that?
Can you believe? Can you believe?
I remember saying,
yes, especially after all you've told me about him,
what I can't believe is that you can't believe it.
She actually started laughing because she was,
like, “good point, fair points”.
Because, just, yeah,
don't be surprised when they act like themselves.
You just expect them, “There they go, there they are
acting like their narky selves”.
Don't be surprised when they just act like themselves
so that’s secret number five.
Now, we're going to go to secret number four.
So, having a powerful mindset means,
what is it that you want?
Do you want a certain outcome?
Do you want a certain vision?
What is the goal of the negotiation that you want?
Is it a certain parenting plan?
if it's a business negotiation, what is the outcome?
Sometimes people forget that,
it seems so simple, but people often forget,
if you're trying to end a business relationship
even if it's not a negotiation,
what would be your perfect outcome?
Is it to just go your own separate ways?
Do you want to keep the business?
Do you want to sell it? Do you want to dissolve it?
What is it that you want?
Do you want to keep the clients? Do you not?
Be super specific. Write it down.
Maybe write it down and post it everywhere.
What goals do you want for your life,
for your business, for your career?
Watch my interview with Bob Proctor, by the way,
which is amazing, and not only, by the way,
changed lives of many people who
watched that interview, it changed my own life.
It was like, one of my favorite interviews
that I've absolutely ever done,
so definitely go check that out.
That's secret number 2, be super specific.
You are placing orders to the universe,
by the way you’re placing orders to the universe,
even when you say things
you don't necessarily want.
So, a lot of people say,
I don't have enough money, I don't have enough money,
I don't have enough money, I don't have enough money and
I wonder why the universe doesn't bring more money,
Come on, be careful with what you say.
Your words are very powerful,
so if you want more money,
be careful about what you say, okay?
So, that’s secret number 4.
See yourself in your outcome, feel it.
emotion plus motion, equals your outcome
like really, really feel it.
The movie “The Secret” they were talking about
like feeling yourself in the car,
lyou feel your hands on the steering wheel?
You feel the wind in your hair, like really feel it?,
you have to really feel what it's like and
you can't just write it down on a piece of paper,
you got to really feel the emotion of what it is
that you want because that vibrational energy
is super, super important, okay?
So, if you're doing it,
I'm doing it, I feel the power, I got the emotion.
No weak language.
No “I'm trying” “I'm hoping” “I might” “maybe” “I'm sorry”
None of that. No weak language people. No.
“I'm doing” “I am”.
Yoda. We’re Yoda here, Remember Yoda?
Yes, love Yoda.
All right, secret number one,
Secret number one. This is my own little secret.
This is for me as well as for you,
I got to do this myself too.
At least for me, my thoughts cannot be left unsupervised.
I don't know about you but I have to like
if I'm walking the dog or, doing things
where my thoughts are left to their own devices,
they don't usually go into the good neighborhoods,
they usually end up in the background neighborhoods.
So I usually end up listening to podcast books,
audible books, things that
will fill my head with the things that I want.
So, control your input, that helps to control your output.
So, that's what I do.
Don't leave your thoughts unsupervised,
that is secret number one
to having a super powerful mindset.
Build your own superpower, become your own superpower.
It is super important
becoming fearless against those narcissists,
together we stand and of course,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
I will drop links to both below, of course, and
I would love if you would subscribe to this channel.
Subscribe. Hit that notification bell,
like this video, share it. Drop a comment.
I am so glad that you stopped by here today.
Remember, today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I will see you in the next video.