With the presidential election right around the corner,
the big question is no longer,
will Donald Trump try to cheat?
It's now become, how will Donald Trump try to cheat?
And with more Americans than ever
expected to vote by mail due to coronavirus,
it looks like he's zeroing in on his plan.
NEWSMAN: President Trump is stepping up his effort
to discredit mail-in voting as vulnerable to fraud,
ramping up attacks on Twitter and on television.
I think mail-in voting is-is gonna rig the election.
I really do.
They want to steal an election.
That's all this is all about.
They want to steal the election.
There is no way you can go through a mail-in vote
without massive cheating.
Democrats are pushing to expand mail-in voting
and change existing voting laws to make it easier
for people to cast ballots at home because of the coronavirus.
The president wants his political allies
to fight back against that,
and they have now pledged $20 million for that effort.
For real?
Only Donald Trump is weird enough
to have beef with the mail.
Every day, he's less and less like a president
and more like a neighbor in a sitcom.
"Goddamn you, mailman!"
-(sitcom music playing) -(canned laughter)
I mean, this guy is spending $20 million
to sue mail-in voting.
Normally when Trump spends that much money suing you,
it's because you've seen him naked.
"I know what you saw last summer.
"You can't tell anybody.
You can't tell them about this thing that I got."
So even though the president
and almost everyone in his administration votes by mail,
clearly, he thinks that letting everybody else do it
would be bad for his re-election.
And because lawsuits alone won't stop mail-in voting,
the other part of Trump's plan is to just stop the mail.
Tonight, a backlog of undelivered mail is piling up
in post offices around the country.
Workers are blaming the new postmaster general,
a top Republican campaign donor
who has given more than $1.1 million
to the Trump Victory Fund.
NEWSMAN: Louis DeJoy forced cost-cutting measures,
leading to undelivered mail piling up
at post offices across the country.
And CBS News confirmed
this internal Postal Service directive
that outlines an "operational pivot,"
saying extra trips to deliver mail are no longer authorized
and that "we may see mail left behind
"or mail on the workroom floor or docks,
which is not typical."
NEWSWOMAN: The service insists it's not intending
to slow down any delivery or risk any election mail.
But the stakes are high for the USPS to follow through
on its promise of on-time delivery.
32 states currently will not count ballots
that arrive after Election Day,
even if postmarked earlier.
Wow.
Even if you mail your ballot in on time,
32 states won't count them
if the post office gets them in late.
And that doesn't sound like an election.
That sounds like what happened to me in high school.
Yeah, I gave my friend a love letter to pass to my crush,
but then he decided to skip third period instead,
so she never got my letter.
So she went to prom with another guy,
and then they ended up getting married and having a kid.
So that should've been my kid, and that's what I told the cops.
But they made me give the kid back anyways.
And that's why you got to defund the police.
So, look, if Trump and his cronies are trying
to sabotage the post office, there's only one solution.
And I hate to say it, folks,
but we have to let Bed Bath & Beyond run mail-in voting,
because no matter how much I try to stop them,
I keep getting those coupons in the mail.
It's ridiculous! I don't need all of this!
I don't need all of this mail!
I don't need to know that there's 35% off...
shower curtains! Oh, shit!
(clattering)
(easy listening music playing)
(smacks lips) It was expired.
Anyway, so Trump has been on a crusade
against mail-in ballots,
and then, he installed a close political ally
who just happened to start slowing down the mail.
Which means that, come November,
a lot of votes that are supposed to make it
by election day might not.
It also means that, in the meantime,
all the other mail is getting delayed,
and it's having a huge effect on people's lives.
NEWSWOMAN: In some parts of the country,
customers are waiting weeks for their mail.
NEWSWOMAN 2: These neighbors in Chicago's Dunning neighborhood
want consistent U.S. Postal Service mail delivery.
Susan Carter says when mail is delivered, it comes late,
and sometimes, it's not theirs.
I just think the system fell apart,
and I don't think they care about us.
All that stuff that's important to you
that nobody else should get may be going
to somebody else's house.
NEWSMAN: In Baltimore, people waited two hours
in hopes of getting their mail that never showed up.
NEWSMAN 2: Many aren't getting bills and paychecks on time,
putting a strain on their homes and businesses.
Survived the Covid, survived everything.
The only thing I didn't survive was the mail.
As a veteran myself, I get medication through the mail.
I rely on that.
And not to have it when I need it--
that's a travesty to a veteran.
Yeah, you see, a lot of people think
that mail is just a waste of paper,
credit cards that they're not gonna sign up for
and ads for shit that they're not gonna buy.
But for many, many people,
that's how they get their medicine.
It's how they communicate with family members in prison.
And for many areas of the country, especially rural areas,
the post office is the only way they can receive mail.
So the mail might mean nothing to you,
but it means everything to some people.
Think of it like a Wilson volleyball.
It might not mean anything to you,
but when Tom Hanks got trapped on that island,
it was his everything.
Do you think he was (bleep) that volleyball?
Nah.
So, look, it's becoming clear as day
that unless Trump changes his mind on the post office,
just like every Trump business, it could be doomed.
So maybe to save themselves, the postal service should do
what every foreign dictator does--
flatter the shit out of Trump.
ANNOUNCER: Are you a Trump supporter
who needs to mail your electricity bill
or an angry letter to CNN?
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in a desperate attempt to earn his approval,
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Like the time President Trump defeated the sun
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Or the night that President Trump
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And true collectors will cherish the stamp
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And if you order now, you'll also receive a booklet
of Mike Pence stamps that you can paste next to Trump
so he can forever gaze adoringly
at the greatest president of our lifetime.
These stamps only run until November 3.